Friday, February 15, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Up until recently, for me it’s always been Ellen > Oprah. Always. But at the very, very least, the Mighty Opes doesn’t invite Ebola on to her stage and expose her flock to infection. As such, Oprah’s lambs have been spared the evil emanating from Paris Hilton’s black hole vagina.

Elle Degeneres’s audience, however, has not been so fortunate.

Time and again, Ellen brings back that skank twat disease. And time and again, instead of spitting on it, she’s actually nice to it. Very nice. Too nice.

WTF? Does Ellen actually need Paris Hilton for ratings???

That would be no.

Ellen had Ebola on her show again this week and simpered through the entire interview, even when Ebola mentioned she was abusing and neglecting 17 dogs in addition to the cats and various other animals that have suffered the misfortune of being adopted into her home.

Revolting. And sad. Because now Ellen Degeneres is officially infected. Ellen is done.

Was stuck in dress fitting hell yesterday but it’s finally Friday! Am blogging all day – check back often. Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is not having help issues. Kate Bosworth hasn’t been blowing away the pain. Lately. And Eric Bana’s wife is not a lesbian.

Vanessa at 45

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2008 00:00:00 February 15, 2008 00:00:00

Been interviewed a few times lately about aging and Hollywood and ladies who are holding it together quite nicely without frightening us from the horrors of their faces. Vanessa Williams, turning 45, is a wonderful example. Ugly Betty was honoured last night at the NAACP Image Awards and Vanessa totally owned the carpet, Not crazy about the one shoulder but love the colour and the body and the hair and the eyes… and Rick Fox is a f&cking idiot. Full Story

February 15th – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2008 09:21:34 February 15, 2008 09:21:34

To Emma in Newfoundland – a slogan tshirt party to celebrate your 25th??? Anne is sorry she’s missing it. Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to Rachel from Shansy in NYC with fond memories of Woozles. For Jennifer – Happy 45th Birthday and 18th Anniversary to your sweetheart John. And thanks for keeping my smut in your family. Full Story

Leo Hates Lilo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2008 08:33:28 February 15, 2008 08:33:28

The NY Daily News is reporting that Lindsay Lohan tried to smear her dirty face all over Adrian Grenier the other night at a West Hollywood club. Adrian tolerated it for a few minutes before getting rescued by his girlfriend. Full Story

Begging For it

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2008 00:00:00 February 15, 2008 00:00:00

And tacky too. So if you’re a celebrity and you want to travel incognito…would you wear this? Check Hilary Duff at the airport the other day – in bright blue yoga pants, obnoxious Chanel flats, and the HUGEST silliest earring ever for a flight. Who’s feeling neglected? Photos from Splashnewsonline.com Full Story

Johnny, Jude, Colin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2008 07:52:27 February 15, 2008 07:52:27

Ain"t it Cool News is reporting that all three will pay tribute to Heath Ledger – stepping in to his role in the Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus. The character is apparently able to change form, which means that Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell will each have their turn to interpret what Heath left behind. Full Story

Happy Friday

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 15, 2008 07:32:26 February 15, 2008 07:32:26

Turns out yesterday’s Bana post was quite popular. Back by popular demand – Eric today in Berlin at the photo call for The Other Boleyn Girl. Enjoy. Photo from Wenn.com  Full Story

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Dear Gossips,

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Love Marc Jacobs. Marc Jacobs actually named one of his new bags after Bryanboy! Asian Tinkerbell Gays have now been immortalised forever! Squeal!

It’s Thursday, am posting all day – check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Have attached a favourite love pic for love day. The commercial and plastic kind. Enjoy!

PPS. Josh Hartnett is not having problems with the help. Neither is Sting, although his wife can be unkind. And Hilary Duff doesn’t forget the sad with the happy. Anymore.

Definitely, Almost

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 14, 2008 13:25:02 February 14, 2008 13:25:02

First sighted Ryan Reynolds becoming Brad Pitt about a month ago in LA. Today in New York, looks like Ryan is at it again: the hat, the jacket, the pants. I’d give Brad a slight edge on the pants but still…as far as imitators go, Ryan is far more worthy than that f*cking loser from a few years back who walked around Greece pretending to be Pitt. Full Story

Reality for Country

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 14, 2008 00:00:00 February 14, 2008 00:00:00

Jessica Simpson is working on a country album. On a larger scale, she’s also working on her career. Because, thanks to the efforts of her pimp ass perv of a father, her career is in the sh*thouse. At the height of her popularity though, she was the star of her very own reality tv show Newlyweds with ex husband Nick Lachey. Full Story