Friday, January 4, 2008

Dear Gossips,

It’s finally Friday but no one has slept. As I’m sure you’ve heard, Britney Spears escalated her chicken fried crazy to new heights making it an epic night in smut. Full recap below and breaking news as it happens. Refresh often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Just a quick reminder for new users to the site: the blog works in reverse chronological order. Newer posts will appear below this intro and older posts further down. In other words, scroll down to start from the beginning.

PS. Two pieces of Canadian garbage, Pamela Anderson and Sean Avery, were in the same building at the same time Thursday night in Vancouver as the Canucks shut out the Rangers. Pray Xenu these two hook up. An update on Pam’s skank to follow as well.

Need Another Friday Pick-me-up?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 00:00:00 January 4, 2008 00:00:00

Call me Cruise but I miss the GMD. We’re a full four days into 2008 and we’ve yet to be blessed with his crazy. Thank Xenu Mad Money starring Katie Holmes, Diane Keaton, and Queen Latifah is due out in a couple of weeks. Movie premieres mean red carpets. And red carpets mean occasions for Presentation! Can’t wait to usher in a brand new year of Presenting Katie! In the meantime, satisfy yourself with a classic. Full Story

Need A Friday Pick-me-Up?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 13:35:27 January 4, 2008 13:35:27

First Friday of the year, need a break from the drama? First… FNL returns tonight! Brand new episode and I hear Julie gets hot for Riggins!!! Here’s a taste of Taylor Kitsch to get you through to tonight. TK in Men’s Health from February 2007. Damn. Friday Night Lights! Why aren’t you watching???   source Full Story

All The Pitts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 13:11:31 January 4, 2008 13:11:31

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt joined the rest of the Pitts in Springfield, Missouri on Wednesday for a family gathering at a local pizza parlour. Brad’s parents were present, along with his siblings and their spouses and their kids too. All told, including the four children from the First Family of Hollywood, there were 11 children at the big Pitt Party, throwing a major wrench into bottom feeding tabloid reports constantly claiming that Brad’s side, his mother in particular, are no great fans of Angelina. Full Story

Junior Makes Himself Useful

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 12:25:47 January 4, 2008 12:25:47

While KFed is totally rehabilitating his image, KFed Junior is making himself useful – as a punching bag for his bank account wife. Literally. Brand new Rossum from Tori and her goldigger! Here she is, with a full face of makeup during some kind of kick box workout in close quarters with a paparazzo. Full Story

No Charges, No Lynne, Pro Kevin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 12:15:55 January 4, 2008 12:15:55

Police have confirmed Britney will not be charged for last night’s dramatics. At press time, Britney is under 72 hour lockdown at Cedars having been interviewed by doctors last night. KFed was also queried about her mental state and she is expected to be assessed over the weekend, with long term plans still to be determined. Full Story

Granny Freeze Hates Fried Chicken!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 10:03:08 January 4, 2008 10:03:08

Thwarted time and again… poor Granny Freeze. If not for Britney losing her sh*t and Lilo falling off the wagon, more of our smutty attention would be directed towards Granny’s 45th pregnancy mystery – is she or isn’t she? As you know, Nicole has expertly controlled and managed the speculation – given that her career is in the dumps and Katie is everyone’s favourite these days, Granny has to find a piece of the spotlight somehow. Full Story

Lil John > Punk Ass Whiny Bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 08:51:03 January 4, 2008 08:51:03

NYE at Prive, Avril Lavigne was hosting a party but Lil John ended up grabbing the mic and counting down to midnight. Be honest, Lil John can hype a crowd waaaay better than Punk Ass Poseur and her squeaky voice. When Avril saw that Lil John had trumped her, she apparently became “visibly upset” and had to be consoled by husband Deryck, boo hooing that “I wanted to do the countdown!” Poor baby was finally placated when more champagne was brought out to her table. Full Story

Ebola Grooms Her Brother

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 08:24:45 January 4, 2008 08:24:45

Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton showed up at Teddy’s last night with her 18 year old brother Barron. Now that she’s no longer an heiress and Barron no longer an heir, after their grandfather decided to donate the bulk of his fortune to charity, Ebola is charged with grooming her youngest sibling for his very own career in famewhoring, which is why he tagged along last night – you will note Barron was born with that unmistakable rich-boy beat-me-face… the one Chuck Bass does so well on Gossip Girl. Full Story

Britney to Lose Visitation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 07:40:13 January 4, 2008 07:40:13

After last night’s drama, the babies are now safely back with Kevin Federline, Jayden James is doing fine, and KFed’s legal team will be storming the court this morning, not surprisingly, to strip Britney of all visitation rights. Britney meanwhile is being held for mental evaluation at Cedars on what’s being called a 5150  Full Story

Weight Loss & Jayden

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 4, 2008 02:01:29 January 4, 2008 02:01:29

As reported earlier, Britney is not in danger though it has now been revealed that her younger son Jayden James was also taken to hospital in an ambulance. However, observers say JJ was alert and heard giggling and sucking on a soother while being carried inside the hospital by a medic. Sean Preston is fine and was seen being driven away in a private vehicle - attached. Full Story