June 6, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2008 06:42:00 June 6, 2008 06:42:00

Happy Birthday Leitha in Nova Scotia! Looking forward to the Big, Original Idea. Please do share when it happens. And thank you, so much, for supporting the smut for so long. To Shelagh E in Halifax – Happy Birthday from your bff Heather! To Helena on your 37th – sending you birthday wishes and Gwyneth solidarity and will be dancing along with you at George Michael because I’m going too and I’m not sure I understand this “Mutts-Schmel” thing but it sounds cute anyway. Full Story

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Dear Gossips,

What is that they always say? Without darkness there is no light. Without pain, there could be no compassion. Without evil, would we know goodness?

The Wonder Twins are about to bless the earth, the embodiment of all that is pure and right. Perhaps then it is only natural – that to coincide with the twins’ arrival, their polar opposite must be conceived too. If the double deities represent hope for humanity, then any spawn of Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton occupies the other end of the spectrum, everything that is wrong with the world: disease, war, hate, hunger.

Good has battled evil since the beginning. And since there is no evil like the evils that sprout from between Ebola’s legs, no wonder we needed two Jolie-Pitts to fight that sh*t. An Ebola baby would undoubtedly be a formidable foe.

Yes gossips…

Hollywood is buzzing that Ebola is pregnant. More on that later.

Thursday – blogging all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Niagara Falls Wedding

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 13:07:00 June 5, 2008 13:07:00

Have you been to Niagara Falls? If you’ve been, you know that one of the most popular tourist attractions is the barrel photo - a picture taken of you inside a barrel perched in front of the falls made to look like you’re going down. There’s a hilarious one of my mother in the barrel from back in the 70s. Full Story

A Good Gay Maintains His Brows

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 12:20:00 June 5, 2008 12:20:00

Tom Ford popped in for a plucking today at Anastasia. But of course. Anastasia is said to be the best eyebrow stylist, like, ever. Would expect nothing less for this hot piece who seems to be spending more and more time in LA these days. I hear he’s working on a movie. Wants to get into production. Full Story

Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 11:51:00 June 5, 2008 11:51:00

More Money KFed Jr’s Not Getting (DListed)

A Face More Frightening than Granny Freeze! (Hollywood Tuna )

Charlize Theron: pro-flirting (INO)

Heidi Montag’s Ashlee Simpson (Drunken Stepfather site NSFW)

Will Madge Have a Cameo? (Holy Moly )

I’m the only one who thinks Lily Allen is Pretty in Pink (Cele|bitchy)

Time Away + a tee shirt = McConaughey is hot again (ASL)

Shiloh Has Mercy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 11:28:16 June 5, 2008 11:28:16

We asked…and we received. Hollywood was buzzing this morning after photos surfaced of Ebola Paris Hilton wearing a little bump after dinner last night. Given that she has been hellbent on spawning her disease, pregnancy speculation spread far and wide, not unlike her legs. A sigh of relief. Ebola’s rep has denied Full Story

Hot Becks Bow Tie No Diddy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 09:25:12 June 5, 2008 09:25:12

Yum. David Beckham at the Gordon Ramsay opening last night, as usual, quivering my loins in a bow tie and a waistcoat with pants that fit perfectly. While Becks was in Los Angeles Victoria was in New York. Something about meetings with Conde Nast, probably trying to grovel her way into Anna Wintour’s office for an appearance in Vogue. Full Story

Brenda 2008

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 08:27:43 June 5, 2008 08:27:43

This is Shenae Grimes – the 2008 iteration of Brenda on the new 90210. Shenae turned up in Toronto yesterday to promote the show at the Global TV Upfronts with Rob Estes who is so much hotter than Jim Walsh. HELLO! You know Shenae from Degrassi. As you can see…she’s gorgeous. Looks like food has become part of her diet again. Full Story

Brad in Texas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 07:22:17 June 5, 2008 07:22:17

There were reports earlier this week that he’d been sighted in Houston. Several LaineyGossip.com readers have written to say that he was still in Houston as of yesterday, with Sean Penn, friendly with fans, and at one point joking around on a smoke break. So if he’s confident enough to travel, it would mean Angelina’s due date is far enough away… right? But far enough away to make it 8/8/8? File photos from Splashnewsonline.com Full Story

Sit DOWN Justin Timberlake

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 07:01:04 June 5, 2008 07:01:04

Seriously … sit your Pip ass DOWN! I call it Small Ball Syndrome. Not unlike Napoleon Syndrome. You know how they say short dudes overcompensate for their vertical challenges by going overboard on toughness and aggression? Well since Pipsqueak’s balls have only partially dropped, it’s like he’s trying to make up for his testicular deficit by swinging a big stick around – a stick wielded not by him but by his legal team. Full Story