Crazy Uncool

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 7, 2008 06:58:50 February 7, 2008 06:58:50

Being crazy is one thing. Because if you’re cool and crazy, it’s all good. Cool can turn crazy into an artform – just ask Christopher Walken. But there is nothing, nothing, nothing worse in showbiz than being uncool. And Tom Cruise is uncool. Tom Cruise is SO uncool that he makes anyone who associates with him uncool too. Full Story

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My Gwyneth Back in Pink

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 7, 2008 06:32:36 February 7, 2008 06:32:36

Most of you hate her snotty little face and her smut little attitude. It’s the way she looks at you, right? Because she is better than you. She is one of a few select women in the world who get first pass at the new Balenciaga bag half a year before anyone else. So of course she’s better than you, she’s better than everyone… don’t you know??? This is my Gwyneth last night in support of her BFF Madonna, radiant in pink, as fit as she’s ever been with long, taut, lean legs and hair that looks like it’s been trimmed… total gorgessity in her Oscar-winning colour. Full Story

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Britney, Justin’s Finger, and Rolling Stone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 7, 2008 00:00:00 February 7, 2008 00:00:00

Somehow Britney escaped from the psych ward yesterday – apparently a lawyer overruled the medical recommendation and let her go. As you probably know, she tore off immediately for Adnan and the paps. Why her parents were not holding vigil outside that hospital door, why Lynne wasn’t handcuffed to her child, how she managed to saunter outta there without her parents throwing themselves in her way is beyond me. Full Story

Madge for Malawi

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 7, 2008 05:54:01 February 7, 2008 05:54:01

She brought Lola. Lola who is already 11 – can you believe she’s already 11? – and refreshingly actually still LOOKS 11, unlike Ali Lohan who only looked 11 when she was inside her Dina’s womb. And while Lola is clearly showing the unmistakable sign of little girl vanity, her mother appears to be succeeding in holding on to her youth. Full Story

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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Chinese New Year’s Eve and I miss my mother. She called me last night to remind me about the rituals, to let me know she’d posted my lucky money pockets, and not one word of criticism. In fact, it’s the only time of the year my mother gives her bitch a break, for fear of starting the upcoming lunar new year on an unlucky foot - an attitude so self serving it ends up being bitchy anyway.

My very best wishes to you and yours for a healthy and prosperous Year of the Rat, a year traditionally of new beginnings and maybe even new loves – nice AND naughty. Given that the rat is also associated with romance, word is 2008 also promises sexy time and scandal, hand in hand.

Translation: more smut!

Wednesday – cleaning all day, blogging all day, refresh refresh refresh! And scroll down for late articles you may have missed.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Thanks to the lovely ladies at Style Spy for the feature as Girl of the Week!

PPS. From Katie to Megan – congratulations on your “bejewelled state”!

PPPS. Ryan Gosling is not having problems finding good help. Nor Leo. And not Three Whiskers Orlando Bloom either. Coke isn’t Clooney’s thing and Elijah Wood is too easy.

To Marchesa with the Twins

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 00:00:00 February 6, 2008 00:00:00

Rendered deliriosu from Baby Fever, several outlets jumped the gun last week reporting that Jennifer Lopez had checked into a Long Island hospital to give birth. Obviously not. Her father, the Scientologist, did confirm yesterday however that she is indeed expecting twins. Definitely looks like it too. Full Story

This I Buy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 13:10:41 February 6, 2008 13:10:41

After their hook up on the set of Factory Girl, Harvey Weinstein tried to capitalise on the brief fling between Hayden Christensen and Sienna Miller. Unfortunately, their attraction quickly turned into animosity and given that Hayden allegedly refused to cooperate, he quickly went from being Harvey’s goldenboy to sitting in his sh*thouse. Full Story

The Best Tacky Glam

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 12:15:05 February 6, 2008 12:15:05

It rarely works, and it works only on a select few. The red lips, the frizzy hair, the earrings, the makeup… for anyone else my mother would be screeching low classy. On Kylie Minogue, it’s perfect. Love, love, love. Kylie showed up at the Golden Camera Awards with some horse teeth too – unlike Hilary Swank, Kylie’s chompers are the cutest. Full Story

If Count Dracula Made Love to a Horse…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 11:55:16 February 6, 2008 11:55:16

Presenting Hilary Swank, here at the Golden Camera Awards in Germany. Like Sarah Jessica Parker, Hilary with her equine dental work is starting to resemble Helen Gurley Brown, the original Fun! Fearless! Female! Blech. Blecher still is the fact that this bitch has not one but TWO Oscars… the second one thanks in large part to Clint Eastwood’s tireless campaigning. Full Story

Holiday with Bar Leo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2008 00:00:00 February 6, 2008 00:00:00

Leo loves models. And really… can you blame him? He is after all a total dude. A dude who once trolled the club scene with what was known then as his “p*ssy posse”. At the very least, he has a certain aesthetic standard. And as you can see, Bar Rafaeli very much lives up to it. Bar and Leo have been enjoying a bit of down time on vacay, lounging by the pool, soaking up the sun, doing jack f&ck all the way rich people do. Full Story