Jennifer Aniston: How to Stay Relevant

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 31, 2007 04:53:19 December 31, 2007 04:53:19

The National Enquirer is reporting she’s pregnant. Her tireless publicist, Stephen Huvane, quickly shot it down. You will note – Us Weekly has openly called Huvane a liar on many, many, many occasions. Indeed, he does seem to contradict himself with alarming regularity. But maybe that’s because his client can only stay relevant post Pitt split by spreading a rumour herself and then quickly debunking it. Full Story

Hollywood Ebola Infects the Penns

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 31, 2007 04:30:26 December 31, 2007 04:30:26

Disaster ensues wherever it goes. Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton has no mercy and her success rate is virtually unmatched among diseases. And while she may be an heiress no more, she is and will always be a dirty virus, killing everything in her path, growing stronger with every victim. Once upon a time not too long ago, Sean Penn supposedly f*cked Paris in Miami after a wild night of partying. Full Story

When in LA…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 31, 2007 04:28:08 December 31, 2007 04:28:08

For the better part of the year, Mischa Barton elected to stay away from LA, spending time in London, in New York, shooting in Regina, Canada… anywhere but the rotting cesspool of sh*t known as Hollywood where bare coochies for the paps are abundant and cocaine blows as freely as cigarette smoke and fellatio. Full Story

Monday, December 24, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Hard to believe but as far as f&cked up weekends go, Britney Spears topped even herself. And can you believe she made it through without flashing her poony? Small mercies. More on that later.

One day before Christmas and Tony Romo gave Dallas an early present: the Cowboys actually won despite the Jessica jeers and the ridicule from last weekend. It did not go unremarked however that Simpson was noticeably absent. Poor tranny is a game day jinx. And poor tranny is also a box office jinx. Seriously honey… fire your father.

A few quick posts below and then a break for the holidays. My very best wishes to you and yours – Merry Christmas! And if it’s not Christmas that you celebrate, merry merry and happy happy…

Am honoured and grateful you choose this site for your smut. Thank you, love you, owe you…

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Bar for the Holidays

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2007 03:26:20 December 24, 2007 03:26:20

Leo is all about the model make up break up – he and Gisele were on and off all the time and now it appears he’s taken up the same pattern with Bar Rafaeli. The two split a few months ago but have been seen together again in LA at the Beverly Hills Hotel this weekend having brunch. And they were in a festive mood too. Full Story

Lindsay Lohan, Sex Maniac

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2007 03:12:40 December 24, 2007 03:12:40

Justice Dina Lohan! And congratulations this Christmas! Dina’s oldest child was rehab an impressive three times this year, both her movies sucked sh*t, and she continues to exhibit some remarkably bad taste in men, hooking up with that f&cktard Calum Best before treatment and immediately romancing some random at Le Cirque who has now sold his story, and all the intimate sexual details, to UK tabloid News of the World. Full Story

Worse than Gigli

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2007 00:00:00 December 24, 2007 00:00:00

You didn’t think it was possible, did you? For a movie to bomb harder than Gigli? Not surprisingly, Papa Pervy Pimp Joe Simpson has managed to earn the dubious distinction and he is managing his daughter’s career straight into the sh*tter. Jessica’s film Blonde Ambition was released in 8 theatres in Texas this weekend with a per theatre average of just $227 over three days, grossing only $1,251. Full Story

Family Pitt Christmas Present

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2007 02:35:32 December 24, 2007 02:35:32

The Family Pitt went on a family bike ride the other day in New Orleans with the kids, giving the the paps and the Brangelunatics a rare glimpse of the Chosen One strapped with mom as Miss Zahara, Maddox, and Pax load up with dad. Photographers of course were delighted by the gift – according to Forbes. Full Story

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Chicken Fried Jamie Lynn Who?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 24, 2007 00:00:00 December 24, 2007 00:00:00

It must have galled Britney to no end this week – not only not knowing of her sister’s pregnancy and finding out along with the masses but getting usurped by Jamie Lynn’s teenage surprise on the gossip front… temporarily being relegated to the sidelines as another Spears ate up the attention. Full Story

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Friday, December 21, 2007

Dear Gossips,

If you’re in Hong Kong and you’re up for a smutty evening over drinks, a few readers just might be planning a small gathering on December 27th. Write me for further details. Would love to see you!

Have escaped my mother for a couple of days – am blogging from the Venetian Resort & Casino in Macao – though she followed me all the way here on the ferry, pretending to have pre-planned an outing with 2 girlfriends. All three of them showed up at the terminal wearing a similar version of her infamous rhinestone encrusted denim suit. Click here if you’ve forgotten what it looks like. But the best part is … no one looked at them funny the entire time. Because rhinestone encrusted denim suits are downright pedestrian in Asia! Do you love it???

Totally confused about time zone differences – please remember to scroll down for articles you may have missed?

It’s Friday! Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Happy Birthday to Karen from Michelle. Hope your Saturday is worthy of Saugeen!

PPS. Mel Gibson is not goosing gays in his trailer.