Snape’s New Brew

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 11:05:08 August 5, 2008 11:05:08

Alan Rickman. That’s all. Actually wait… that’s not all. Because he’s promoting a movie. And it’s called Bottle Shock. And it’s about wine. California wine victorious over French wine – say what f&ck? Indeed. It was a true tale in 1976 and now they’ve made it into a movie that drops this Friday with the impossibly brilliant Alan Rickman in the lead. Full Story

Lesbians > Nipples

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 09:22:47 August 5, 2008 09:22:47

While the MiniVan Majority is deeply offended over a nipple, curiously enough, apparently it doesn’t mind lesbians. It’s when gay gets in the way of their fantasies – that’s when it becomes a problem, see? Which is why, sadly, the boys get shafted while the girls get accepted. Full Story

The Silver Fox hates hags

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 08:12:00 August 5, 2008 08:12:00

Anderson Cooper and Tom Ford. Together. Can you imagine? Sigh. Gay men are so evolved. Especially the ones who are ready and willing to cut a bitch down. Of course you’d expect this from Tom…but from the Silver Fox too? Please. He’s the son of Gloria Vanderbilt. And he was temping for Regis on Regis & Kelly this morning. Full Story

The MiniVan hates nipples

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 07:55:44 August 5, 2008 07:55:44

Eva Mendes stars in a new ad campaign for Calvin Klein. In the 30 second tv commercial, if you slow it down and play it back very, very, VERY meticulously, analysing every pixel, you can see a very brief glimpse of a nipple. At least they say you can. Here’s a screen cap of what’s supposed to be the controversial frame. Full Story

Feeling Better?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 07:29:08 August 5, 2008 07:29:08

Javier Bardem dropped out of Nine just after winning the Oscar for Best Supporting actor this year citing “exhaustion” as the reason, making way for Daniel Day Lewis to step into the singing dancing role. It’ll be a trip. Can’t wait. Javy has been very low profile during his time off, as has his lover Penelope Cruz. Full Story

View All 11 Photos

Junior plays dress-up

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 5, 2008 07:18:51 August 5, 2008 07:18:51

It’s only Tuesday but this definitely takes it. The Rossum of the Week, perhaps Rossum enough to out-Rossum herself. Although if you ask me, I’d still rather look at these photos than have to watch her “home video” Full Story

Monday, August 4, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Not sure why there should even be a column today. Like what else is there to talk about? Is there anything worth talking about but THEM?

It was the moment Brangelunatics everywhere have been waiting for: finally a glimpse of the world’s first fraternal twins. The Olympics begin on Friday. Will they light the torch too??? After all, their original due date was 8/8/8, wasn’t it?

Believe it or not, the world goes on.

Last time I was in Toronto, my mother brewed me a thermos-full of her magic Chinese potion. Then I received the all clear from the surgeon. Yesterday I picked up the clubs and played a full round. Registered 2 pars, 3 bogies, and too many triples. But I played golf. Should I forgive Mischa Barton?

Yours in gossip,


PS. As far as I know, the Beckhams are still paying their bills.

The Mouth That Keeps Giving

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2008 10:17:00 August 4, 2008 10:17:00

I understand that teens can’t stop taking pictures of themselves but this is beyond beyond. Another series of Miley Cyrus cell phone shots have been leaked, all featuring her beat-me mouth. Apparently 15 year olds think this looks good. Clearly it’s been 2 decades since I was 15. F*ck. Miley also hosted Teen Choice last night. Full Story

The Desirable Granny Freeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2008 09:04:00 August 4, 2008 09:04:00

Nicole Kidman is supposed to play some kind of hot socialite in Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming epic Australia…so in other words, it’s like the Matrix. A suspension of disbelief. I can do that. A few stills have been released from the film scheduled to premiere in November. Baz is apparently award hunting. Full Story