The Coming of the Second Coming?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 30, 2007 07:10:28 October 30, 2007 07:10:28

First came the Chosen One Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt and now perhaps, finally what the world has been waiting for: rumour has it Angelina Jolie is pregnant with the Second Coming. She was scheduled to attend and speak at a UN conference in Italy but has backed last minute. As you know, Angie would never bail on a save-the-world mission unless it was super important, which is why Italian reporters first claimed over the weekend that she was feeling ill from early pregnancy. Full Story

Monday, October 29, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Thank you Regina – Gemini weekend was a blast! And Gemini host George Stroumboulopoulos totally killed it… did you watch? His opening film skit was brilliant.

Face to face with Brandon Walsh! Almost lost my sh-t midway through the interview - only slightly less gorgeous than the way you remember him…which means Jason Priestly is beautiful. Short, but beautiful. 90210 forever.

And then there’s Anne Heche - a crazy bitch, yes, but there is something about Anne Heche. Or maybe it was her coat. She arrived wearing the.most.gorgeous Dolce & Gabbana red satin trench (see attached) that flared out in a full pouffy skirt at the back and then proceeded to entice James Tupper into taking it off for her on the carpet. The two could not stop pawing at each other the entire evening – we have the exclusive video on eTalk etalk.ctv.ca tonight and to be honest… I couldn’t stop watching.

Anne and James were on my flight home late last night, surprisingly low key and still deeply in the throes of early, horny, addictive infatuation and in a creepy way, I feel the same about Kristin Kreuk from Smallville.

She presented at the Geminis, she was also on our flight back to Vancouver, and I won’t bother attaching a photo because photos do not do this girl justice. In person, Kristin Kreuk is, like, otherworldly beautiful. Like, weak-kneed beautiful… a modern manifestation of Narcissus – if I looked like that, my eyes would never leave my own face either.

More gossip from the Geminis to come later including the clothes.

Sorry about the late start. Flew in on a late flight last night… please forgive?

Monday – am blogging all day, check back often!

Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*ck it!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. My love and thanks as always to the Holmes Team for always making work weekends so memorable.

PS. To a long-time loyal reader – Lori M… Happy Birthday!!!

PPS. Colin Farrell doesn’t need you to put it there, although if he asked, I totally would.

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Eating and Smoking

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 00:00:00 October 29, 2007 00:00:00

Nicole Richie is eating these days – good move to nourish her baby. Bad move – allegedly she’s still smoking. At least according to that deliciously crazy old bat Cindy Adams. Cindy says Nicole was in NYC last week and lit up on at least two occasions even though she’s over six months pregnant. Full Story

Who Needs a Refill?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 00:00:00 October 29, 2007 00:00:00

The GMD was in Paris to promote Lions for Lambs and apparently needs a refill of Xenu Juice because someone’s gay wants to come out to play. It happens to the best of them, you know? When they’re too far from the mothership, in desperate need of an audit, far from the church members who keep them in line, their defences begin to slip – see John Travolta’s male masseur c*ckstands in Toronto when he allegedly terrorised an upscale health club with his ill timed advances towards only male service providers. Full Story

Rossum on Ice

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 13:02:03 October 29, 2007 13:02:03

Oh but the juxtaposition is so clever, isn’t it? Rossum the sweetest of all sweetest angels wearing a Devils’ jersey and supporting the side of evil. It’s a knee slapper!!! Here she is with her ringlets singing the national anthem on Saturday night for the New Jersey Devils’ first game at their new arena against the insufferable Ottawa Senators. Full Story

Escaping Oprah’s Wrath

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 00:00:00 October 29, 2007 00:00:00

Jessica Seinfeld may indeed be the one woman alive who can rival Heather Mills’s goldiggery and yes, she is a manipulative bitch and absolutely a greedy twat. But still I am obsessed. Jessica Seinfeld has also allegedly ripped off someone else’s book. Jessica Seinfeld is apparently a plagiarist. Full Story

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Pip’n’ Ass menstruate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 12:18:35 October 29, 2007 12:18:35

Pippy and Shelf Ass are apparently on their periods this week, or maybe they just miss each other because after giving up some ooey gooey photos to the paps in LA last week they have since separated as JT kicks off the Australian leg of his world tour, leaving behind his despondent hermy girlfriend lashed out at photographers Full Story

Brown on Tour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 11:18:42 October 29, 2007 11:18:42

Finally…the blonde is gone. The blonde got old. And if there’s one thing Victoria abhors more than being fat, it is absolutely being old. As in passé. As in not relevant. She looks better as a brunette anyway. Which is why Mrs Beckham spent 8 hours at the salon the other day, in preparation for the upcoming Spice Tour, going back to brown. Full Story

Chicken Fried Cartoon!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 11:15:33 October 29, 2007 11:15:33

Don’t tell me you didn’t lose your sh-t. I won’t believe you. I laughed for 20 minutes solid. Artist: Sean Delonas source via source Full Story

Rumer: bad angles at Halloween

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 00:00:00 October 29, 2007 00:00:00

Not everyone is born looking like Christy Turlington. Some are cursed by the Celebrity Baby Theory: two hot famous parents resulting in not so hot spawn… Rumer Willis, unfortunately, has been afflicted by this cruel twist of fame but instead of wallowing in self pity, my plucky Rumey has astutely learned to use it to her advantage. Full Story

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Toronto Fights Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2007 10:16:33 October 29, 2007 10:16:33

LOVE my home town. We fought valiantly against SARS. And we are fighting valiantly again against another deadly virus: Paris Hilton. Otherwise known as Hollywood Ebola who has been in Toronto shooting her piece of sh-t for a movie. Last week she hosted a party at The Guvernment. The way I hear it though, no one cared she was there, and her reception was so decidedly lacklustre that owners and the local paps had to “engineer” a frenzied arrival and exit to make it appear as though the Toronto club scene actually gave a rat’s ass. Full Story