Thursday, August 28, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Am loving the pomp and theatrics of the DNC, a worthy substitute to fill the aching void of Olympic obsession and help heal horrid horrid end of summer flu. And good timing too. Next week the Republicans have to compete with season premieres. John McCain or the return of Brenda Walsh?

Oh chill out.

I’m kidding.

OF COURSE politics is more important than Hollywood high school drama. Of course it is.

But you’ve seen the cover of the new Us Weekly, haven’t you? Brenda Walsh is everywhere! And she’s hating on Tori Spelling and that Junior piece of sh*t she married. Janice Min must still be mad at MangleFace for selling her baby pics to OK!

Bitches have long memories and we keep even longer grudges.

Thursday – posting throughout the day in between fever naps.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Friday Night Love Triangle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 13:49:42 August 28, 2008 13:49:42

Key to attracting more viewers? Ass. Hot ass. Hot girl ass. Hot man ass. New man ass. Meet Zach Roerig. Ausiello is reporting that Zach will come between Tyra and Landry, playing a character called Cash (Cash!!!) who’s some kind of rodeo dude. Full Story

Home to Mom

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 11:24:57 August 28, 2008 11:24:57

Two days with dad in Venice, now it’s back home to mom – here are the Pitt boys leaving today after some bonding time with Brad. Maybe they’ll come with dad to Toronto? Or will he treat the girls to the trip instead? Can you imagine? Miss Zahara and the Chosen One at TIFF? Ovaries will explode. Full Story

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Tour de Phelps

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 11:11:00 August 28, 2008 11:11:00

Michael Phelps fatigue? Maybe a little. And there’s no sign of slowing down. Michael Phelps is like Brenda Walsh. Michael Phelps is everywhere. Because he wants to be. Kid says he wants to transform his sport, make swimming more popular than ever, maybe even as popular as golf. Might be a bit of an overreach although it does make for a good debate. Full Story

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SamRo vs Katy Perry?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 08:29:26 August 28, 2008 08:29:26

E! is reporting that Katy Perry is planning a Sapphic smooch on the VMAs on September 7th and her first choice, naturally, is Lindsay Lohan, since Lilo is currently walking the gay way. Full Story

Old Hag Supermodel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 07:50:10 August 28, 2008 07:50:10

Never heard of this magazine…have you? My guess is no, especially judging the budget cover. Actually…the budget everything. Over-photoshoppe is one thing but assy lighting is another. Assy lighting, assy makeup, and assy styling too. The plastic around her neck is so cheap it’s almost offensive. Full Story

Political Weave

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 07:27:04 August 28, 2008 07:27:04

She graced a luncheon yesterday in Denver, perhaps part of the game plan agreed upon when she met with Obama staffers on Capitol Hill in June. This is the weave style JLo selected for the DNC: teased at the crown, not too long, not too short, and homemaker friendly. La Lopez must be super supportive of Barack Obama if she was willing to take time out of her “gruelling” triathlon training schedule to show her Democratic colours, non? Especially when she doesn’t get much help at home with the twins? All new moms can totally relate. Full Story

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Please. Stop. Talking.

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 07:05:18 August 28, 2008 07:05:18

Porny… please! A new week, a new example – Jessica Simpson needs a girlfriend. But I can’t be there every minute of every day, watching her every move, correcting every cocked up thing she says. At some point she has to learn independence. You have to let them fly on their own. Unfortunately she’s clearly not ready. Full Story

August 28, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2008 07:00:47 August 28, 2008 07:00:47

To Meaghan’s friend, sidelined since April but heading back to work next week… am thrilled to hear about your rapid recovery and wish you a smooth return ahead! Our lovely Higgy – congrats on the Gemini nod for best sound! From MVP to Life with Derek to everything in between, you always know how to rock our world! Love you loads! – the ladies. Full Story