Another Disciple

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 00:00:00 November 20, 2007 00:00:00

See? Friendship with the GMD never comes without a cost. And now what we’ve feared is actually happening. Will Smith… Will Smith loves Xenu. Will Smith loves Xenu so much he’s talking about him and defending him. While he promotes his new movie I Am Legend, Will Smith is at the same time promoting the Church. Full Story

Great Hair by Day, Bad Hair by Night

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 08:48:22 November 20, 2007 08:48:22

Patrick Dempsey in NYC yesterday promoting Enchanted which is the feel good, sweetheart holiday movie of the year. If you’re into Chick Lit, line up now. If you’re into Disney musicals, line up now. If you love watching heroines get rescued Rossumingly by “themselves”, line up now. Full Story

What Halle Has

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 00:00:00 November 20, 2007 00:00:00

This is Halle Berry’s baby father Gabriel Aubry arriving at a celebrity golf tournament yesterday. Gabriel is French and speaks with a hot French accent. He is soooo beautiful. He adores her. He wants to be a father. He is a smart, independent business man and model. AND he plays golf. In other words, he is perfect. Full Story

One Legged When Convenient

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 00:00:00 November 20, 2007 00:00:00

When she’s playing the victim, Golddigger Heather Mills always pulls out her one leg and starts crying. Last week she accused Sir Paul and Stella of calling her a one legged bitch during secret taped phone conversations. But here’s the question – and stop reading now if you huff and puff easily as I’m about to offend you: In this case, in the case of Heather Mills, is the term “one legged” really an insult…or is simply an attribute? Example – Paris Hilton is a blonde twat. Full Story

Their Love is Good

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 00:00:00 November 20, 2007 00:00:00

Sorry for the cheese ass title. But I believe in their love. Didn’t at first but am now a full fledged prophet. And while these are a tad gratuitous, Demi and Ashton were undeniably adorable the other day courtside at the Laker game. And again at the Planet Hollywood event at the weekend. Ashton is SO hot when he’s not Gary Full Story

Man.Denim.Leggings

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 00:00:00 November 20, 2007 00:00:00

Jude Law at the London premiere of Sleuth. On the plus side – he’s not fighting his bald. On the down side… Alfie is clearly gone forever. Jude’s pretty peaked early. Jude is not George Clooney. Jude’s pretty is clearly on the wane. And curiously enough, Jude’s pretty started receding, along with this hairline, after leaving Sienna forever. Full Story

Ridden Hard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 07:14:16 November 20, 2007 07:14:16

A terrible thing to say…but does that make it any less true? Take a good long look at Pamela Anderson at the Planet Hollywood opening on Sunday. Pam is 40. Julia Roberts is 40. Halle Berry is 41. Julianne Moore is 47. But none of those girls have been through several gangbangs. Willingly. Let this be a lesson: Gangbangs can ravage a face. Full Story

Germany Hates Xenu

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 07:04:22 November 20, 2007 07:04:22

America is afraid of Xenu but Europe, and Germany in particular, doesn’t give a sh*t. You will recall the Germans were not pleased about the GMD’s Valkyrie shoot in Berlin last summer and now, despite warnings from Team Cruise Legal Full Story

Blame Sean Avery

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2007 00:00:00 November 20, 2007 00:00:00

Mary Kate Olsen was taken to hospital yesterday – official reason: kidney infection. Unofficial reason: Sean Avery. MK had apparently hooked up with the useless piece of sh*t hockey thug a couple weeks ago but Sean has now reportedly run back to Elisha Cuthbert. Xenu only knows what kind of contamination he left behind that’s ailing MK. Full Story

Monday, November 19, 2007

Dear Gossips,

American Music Awards (the AMAs) went down last night in LA… quick fashion round-up below. Super long column today so keep scrolling to avoid missed articles and new riddles.

Monday – am online all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Final clue: Mute Stones is not Natasha Richardson though there are certain family similarities. Ms Richardson however preferred to stay in the family business, while Ms Mute pursued other artistic endeavours.

Nelly Quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 19, 2007 00:00:00 November 19, 2007 00:00:00

Nothing makes me happier than watching a Nelly video. So unapologetically inappropriate but irresistibly enjoyable, even the gratuitous non stop objectification of women – Nelly is funny and I love his catchy beats. But wait. When did Nelly get hot??? I must be slow on the train. Check out Nelly at the Planet Hollywood opening this weekend wearing the sh*t out of those jeans and inviting me into his champagne shower behind those shades. Full Story