Punk Ass Pretty Loves Presents

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 9, 2007 08:51:37 October 9, 2007 08:51:37

Her attitude is for sh-t, her music sucks, her lyrics suck even harder, she’s emotionally stunted, has the maturity of a nine year old…but Avril really is so pretty, non? Here she is Germany and Russia a few days ago promoting her new album and again back in LA with her husband. Look at that nose. Full Story

Pip’n’Ass Eat Cheese

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 9, 2007 08:29:04 October 9, 2007 08:29:04

Just a week after Cameron Diaz and her new beau Bradley Cooper make an appearance on the sidelines in NY during a Giants game, Pip and his Shelf Ass do the same in Green Bay. Coincidence or conspiracy??? Here they are – Justin and Jessica at the weekend, taking a break from his work on The Love Guru in Toronto, making the trip to Wisconsin to catch some gridiron action on a not particularly exciting Sunday. Full Story

The Golden Age Giveaway!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 9, 2007 08:27:31 October 9, 2007 08:27:31

If you love Cate Blanchett as I love Cate Blanchett you will love The Golden Age. It’s the way she speaks, it’s the way only she can deliver a performance so authentically regal, it’s the costuming, it’s Clive sodding Owen standing there dripping in hotness tempting her to give up her virginity…again. Full Story

Quiverating AND Kind

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 9, 2007 07:52:11 October 9, 2007 07:52:11

It’s easy to feel 16 again when it comes to Colin Farrell. First, as you know, he’s currently #1 on the Freebie Five…click here for a refresher. Then there was that bit with the homeless man in Toronto – generously taking him shopping and then setting him up in an apartment. Full Story

Blind to the Signs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 9, 2007 07:35:36 October 9, 2007 07:35:36

Tom Cruise has been shooting a WWII biopic in Germany for months and production has been plagued with setback after setback. First the Germans couldn’t stand his fraud ass, then there were difficulties securing permits to film at historic locations, and now it turns out several night scenes will have to re-shot as the reels were apparently damaged beyond repair after being treated with the wrong chemicals. Full Story

Clean, Sober, Hungry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 9, 2007 00:00:00 October 9, 2007 00:00:00

Hungry for attention and desperately afraid we stopped caring, Lindsay Lohan has accepted OK!’s generous offer for her exclusive post-rehab first interview and of course is saying all the right things. She also happily posed for photos. Not surprisingly, her father did too. Still, in spite of the incorrigible famewhoring, there is cause for optimism. Full Story

Monday, October 8, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Britney has apparently reconciled with her mother. Is there hope?

I hope there is hope. Since my nostalgic posting the other day about Britney’s past performances, with a link to her classic Superbowl half time appearance alongside JT and Aerosmith, many of you have sent me more. More trips down memory lane. More reminders of what may be easy to forget in light of the chicken fried loser she’s become.

But Britney was indeed a world class performer, the kind of performer who could fill massive arenas and whip a crowd into a frenzy with crazy quick choreography and super sexy gyrations and while the VMA occasion that comes to mind quickest is her 2001 jungle snake Slave 4 U writhe-fest, I personally prefer the year before. Do you remember Satisfaction/Oops I Did It Again? The nude bodysuit underneath the tuxedo? Sigh. Britney’s old body was all time.

And now that Lynne’s back… perhaps she’ll at least be willing to SEE her kids? Word is Britney bailed on a scheduled supervised visit with a court-mandated parenting coach, resolutely refusing to answer the door, leaving her babies sitting in a car outside her mansion for 40 minutes as the bodyguards buzzed the gate for entry. Multiple outlets are confirming that this went down, including TMZ…but here’s the thing: Britney’s house is guarded 24/7 by the paps. And still there are no photos from the incident. Is that weird to you? Or is it just me? Must just be me.

Monday – Canadian Thanksgiving. Light posting today. Full time returns tomorrow.

Yours in gossip,


All Time Homo Quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2007 10:57:52 October 8, 2007 10:57:52

The most stylish man in the universe and f*ck me…he has to be gay. Who doesn’t covet Tom Ford? Feast your eyes on Tom, all of him, in Out. His sly arrogance, his pompous attitude, his horny-bitch quotes on women, his horny-bitch quote on straight men, and of course his TOIT ass… Tom Ford is pure heartbreaking quiveration. Full Story

Granny Freeze at the Wedding

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2007 10:47:41 October 8, 2007 10:47:41

Nicole Kidman was in NYC this weekend to promote her latest Margot at the Wedding – three outings and three scary ass sightings. First – at a screening for Margot, hair down in a virginal dress. You will note there’s not a wrinkle on her face – NOT ONE – in spite the unmistakable gray at her temples. Full Story

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At Least…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2007 10:00:14 October 8, 2007 10:00:14

At least he’s not a deadbeat dad? What else is there to say? Five children – I think – and three baby mothers... Sean Diddy Daddy Puffy Combs clearly does not believe in monogamy or, for that matter, condoms. Turns out he got a girl pregnant just 5 months before getting his official (at the time) girlfriend pregnant with twins last year. Full Story

Hollywood Musical Love Chairs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2007 09:42:25 October 8, 2007 09:42:25

Cameron Diaz dated Jared Leto. Cam and Jared broke up. Cam went on to Justin Timberlake, Jared to Scarlett Johansson. Then Cam and JT split and JT had a brief fling with Scarlett. Now Cam is with Bradley Cooper who happens to be starring in He’s Just Not That Into You with… Scarlett Johansson. Full Story