Chicken Fried Insolent

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 12:52:13 November 8, 2007 12:52:13

In between chandelier shopping and picking up a sweet new Mercedes ride, and hopping in the shower in the middle of a radio interview, Britney Spears is supposed to comply with court ordered random drug testing. A missed test constitutes a FAILED test. And Britney has reportedly missed 8 out of 14 tests, prompting Team Federline to storm the judge this morning asking to take away her right to see her children, thereby allowing HIM full access and the bank account that comes with it. Full Story

Ghetto Tits in Vancouver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

No clue why she’s here. Busy shooting some sh*tty straight to dvd release, no doubt. Thanks to Lisa for the following hilarious description the other day: I just saw her near Choices in Yaletown. She was extremely thin wearing a shiny black Adidas tracksuit. Think Run DMC, but with pink stripes. Full Story

Christina Wintour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

At first quick glance, she could be Anna’s doppelganger, non? But where Anna is perpetually preserved by too much gin and a black heart bitch, Christina looks healthier than she has in years. Body looks great, bangs look great, massive forehead brilliantly concealed, Christina simply glowed last night in NY at the DKNY event. Full Story

Common Quiver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

Common showed up at the DKNY Delicious Night Fragrance Launch Party last night and … well… the man is a sexy, sexy beast. At least when he knows to keep the ass backwards social statements to himself. Common is focusing these days on his film career – can currently be seen in American Gangster alongside Denzel and Russell and will appear next in Angelina Jolie’s Wanted. Full Story

The New Camelot in DC

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

So blatantly obvious and still the MiniVan Majority will eat his sh*t up – the GMD arrived with his Katie/Jackie in tow last night to screen Lions for Lambs in DC. As you can see, from the demure neckline to the simple chain to the dress and especially the shoes… Katie is now a Kennedy charged with the task of glamourising a Gay Midget Dwarf. Full Story

Ryan & Michelle?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams were seen together in Brooklyn having dinner the other day prompting some speculation that they could be getting it on. If so, am all over it. Love it. Love it a little less than I love Ryan and Natalie Portman but if he and Rachel can’t fulfill The Notebook, Michelle Williams is an acceptable consolation, non? She’s arty and independent and has a bad attitude since reformed after ditching Heath Ledger, with tons of potential and a proven indie track record and she’s refreshingly gorgeous– Michelle and Ryan are very, very compatible. Full Story

Playing a Twin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

Lance Armstrong apparently couldn’t get enough of Ashley Olsen last week, taking their public flirtation private, behind the closed doors of Soho House where they were ensconced through the weekend. And though Ashley was not seen supporting Lance at the NY marathon, word is she had helped him prep in bed the night before. Full Story

Country Bitch?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

Country’s reigning princess won big last night. And as you can see, Carrie Underwood’s stayed close stylistically to her roots. The waves, the curls, the gold tacky dress… this is a girl who knows how to please her fanbase. Well done. Having said that, it’s apparently no secret – Carrie Underwood isn’t exactly a sweetheart. Full Story

Country Quiveration

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 00:00:00 November 8, 2007 00:00:00

If he doesn’t take his hat off, and if he keeps sticking his tongue out… Ok I can kinda see it. Why Renee Z was smitten, why millions of country fans are smitten - not just smitten, in fact, but downright horny. For the first time ever, after seeing this photo, there is a quiver for Kenny. Full Story

All Eyes on Granny Freeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 8, 2007 06:54:21 November 8, 2007 06:54:21

At the CMAs last night there was little to no chance Kenny Chesney would lose to Keith Urban. Kenny’s crown was pretty much locked up. And so the Kidmans arrived with few expectations, showing up to save face and to promote Keith’s People Magazine cover and to make a glamourous announcement, despite unfounded whispers to the contrary, that he does indeed intend to honour his contractual obligations. Full Story

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Lions for Lambs comes out on Friday which is why it’s GMD week! And while many prematurely proclaimed his professional death last year, even if Lions does not kill at the box office, it looks like Tom Cruise has officially re-installed himself on the power list, thanks to a fetching young wife and an irresistible Little Sci. Case in point – last night’s dinner at Cipriani in his honour brought out some major stars paying their respects. Everyone is kissing his ass. Sigh. It’s like he’s Voldemort…

As for Britney – how pathetic do you have to be to be ordered to PAY $120,000 for your ex husband to sue you over custody of your kids???

KFed apparently has no income other than the allowance he receives from his Chicken Fried Bankroll. And those monthly alimony payments totalling $15,000 are supposed to dry up in a week. As such, he can’t afford his legal fee. So he’s hitting her up to cover his bills – and she has to do it because she’s so f&cked in the head, she’s deemed less fit to parent their children than he is.

Only Britney could live a life this ass backwards.

Wednesday, blogging all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey