Randy Spelling, son of Aaron, brother to Tori – like every other useless, rich kids in Hollywood, he has a new reality show alongside other useless rich kids David Weintraub and Rod Stewart’s son whose name is irrelevant. So to pimp his new show, Randy is riding on the flaps of Paris Hilton, knowing that we don’t give a sh-t about his useless rich existence he has decided to exploit her useless rich existence, in addition to the black hole between her legs, revealing to the world that he gave birth to Hollywood Ebola. Full Story
I love Simon Cowell. He’s a nasty bitch but his candor is endlessly entertaining. And seriously…what’s so enjoyable about someone who says nice things about all people all the time? Simon is Simon because he’s mean but also because you thought it too. Same goes for Piers Morgan, former UK tabloid editor, celebrity judge on America’s Got Talent - a thousand axes to grind, now trying to be a celebrity in his own right. Full Story
Michelle Williams on location yesterday in England. Again, too bad she’s such a bitch. And not in a good Gwyneth way. Otherwise, I’d like her so much. Curious though – Michelle is actually smiling for the cameras. And she’s not threatening to sue. Or sending her legal team up the ass of her many fans who dared to run to a fansite out of love and admiration. Full Story
Well now here’s a healthy combination: Lindsay Lohan who went clubbing fresh outta rehab…and Robbie Williams who also went clubbing fresh out of rehab - it’s really so right it couldn’t be more right, non? Last night at the premiere of The Tudors, pinned pupils everywhere, and that outfit sucks large ass. Full Story
North America is bracing for Chav War… love, love, love. In one corner: Victoria Beckham. No introduction required, though she’s mildly turned it down of late, getting rid of those press on nails and that tacky ass weave, the concrete tits remain firmly in tact, as do the c*cklips and the overtan, and so the Chav beats fiercely underneath the Armani…forever. Full Story
Or is it 3? No matter. The point is, unlike her brief flings with Andy Samberg and Adrien Grenier and Adam Brody which only lasted a week, Kiki has managed to keep Johnny Borrell’s interest for more, going so far as to follow him to the UK where she is supposedly shacked up in his flat, lovesick to the point that she follows him everywhere – to every gig, to every afterparty, to every town, to every country…and he can’t get enough. Full Story
There was absolutely NO smutty emergency yesterday re: Britney. She was taken to hospital, it was supposedly a dental issue, she was released very quickly, the pappies lost their sh-t over nothing. And yes… I’m a conspiracy lover just as much as you…but these photos below taken upon her arrival at Century City Hospital don’t exact show an OD’ing bitch being carried inside to get her stomach pumped, you know what I mean?
Let’s focus on the positive, shall we?
She did NOT celebrate KFed’s birthday party in Vegas this weekend - VERY good news. She is dancing again - also very good news. And it’s been five days since she exited rehab and we still haven’t seen her poonie – the best news. So call me Cruise but optimism rules. More on Britney below.
Monday – real time blogging, check back often for fresh posts.
Yours in gossip,
Her body. At one time a temple, of late not so much. But a new sign has emerged, y’all. And it’s a very, very, very good sign. Check out her arm. Call me Cruise but I see definition in that arm. I see tone. And tone means she’s working out. And working out means she’s (somewhat) motivated. Full Story
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban – marriage is, for all intents and purposes, a contract…is it not? And so Nicole gets the gushing, the husband who calls her his “saviour”, a new image that she is the kind of woman who can transform a man. New interview with the Sunday Telegraph in the UK, Keith digs deep, deep into Celine Dion territory and pulls out a classic… so cheesy I’m surprised he didn’t save it for one of his equally cheesy songs. Full Story
Well well… isn’t this a shocker. Sienna Miller looking bombed out of her tree groping someone else’s girls. Looks like some innocent fun, non? Because Sienna would NEVER make out with a chick. Or a random dude. Or get sh-tfaced and lose control. No no. Sienna wouldn’t go there. Full Story