This Is Why

June 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Said it time and again – the reason Johnny Depp is not on the Freebie Five is because Johnny Depp is a Lifetime. More than just one night of raucous rockin’ of your headboard, with Johnny, why and how would you say goodbye? Check it out - a clip from Julia of Johnny promoting Pirates in the Land of Hello Kitty, with Junior Hello Kitties, at once absurd and yet adorable, Johnny the guest of honour attending a children’s performance meticulously choreographed and rehearsed on his behalf. Full Story

Pregnant for Freedom?

June 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Rumours have been swirling for a week or so now – that Nicole Richie is pregnant, based first on a photo of her with a bulgy belly (always a reliable indication) and then because some tabloid pushed the story forward. Ever the clever publicity whore, Nicole has remained silent on the issue, much in the same way she remains silent on most of her issues knowing more people will talk about them if she doesn’t talk about it them herself. Full Story

Three Boys and a Douche

June 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Turtle is missing but here’s the Piv and darling Kevin Dillon and Adrian Grenier at the premiere of the Entourage Season 4 last night. Then of course there’s that loser Kevin Connolly. The same Kevin Connolly too good for interviews but not too good to stand around watching his colleagues graciously doing their jobs. Full Story

Blame the Man

June 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Widely criticised yesterday for trying to control the press, Angelina Jolie revealed on Jon Stewart that it was a move made by her lawyer and her representatives and not something she knew about. As you would expect, her attorney has also stepped forward to admit that he went overboard in his attempt to protect his candid client and that she in no way had anything to do with trying to get members of the media to sign a contract prohibiting them from asking personal questions and saying negative things about her. Full Story

Posh Goes to Barneys

June 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Launched her denim line in NYC yesterday – as you can see, Victoria brought the full-on Posh. Love how she has to jam her feet into all her shoes, love how she’s now adopted the Celine Dion Lunge as part of her signature pose, love how you could stick a sausage in her mouth and not get lipstick smeared on the sides, and especially love her ski jump nose. Full Story

Shelf Ass Who???

June 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pip has a HUUUUUGE ego. And most of the time, his ego is total Rossum. But on occasion, especially when his ego doesn’t appreciate getting trumped by an overzealous publicity team for a B List actress, Pipsqueak’s ego is extremely entertaining. Full Story

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Dear Gossips,

So they’ve finally removed Paris Hilton from that cushy little room at the infirmary and transferred her back to Lynnwood where she’ll likely serve out the remainder of her sentence in solitary, on a hard little bed hopefully with her head beside a festering toilet.

Our last days of joy before her disease lashes out in freedom, stronger than ever, with that greedy little fool Barbara Walters shoved half way up her ass. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Sorry… have been distracted the last few days trying to get over a new book and it’s time for a new recommendation anyway. The Post Birthday World by Lionel Shriver – an extremely uncomfortable read, as is the case with everything else she writes including of course We Need to Talk About Kevin. She has that gift of sneaking up on you, subtly forcing you to confront the worst parts of yourself, the parts so easy to suppress during a dinner party as you collectively rage against the common enemy only to realise later on that you have more in common with it than you think. Definitely NOT a beach read but a read that stays with you for ages.

Thursday, posting all day, refresh browser often.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Thanks to what seems like the entire city of Calgary for the thorough, insightful description of Cowboys. Hot girls who rub up against dude for big tips – as much at $10K during Stampede – and who apparently get half a boob job paid for if they stay six months … sounds like my kind of place. Am headed to Calgary late July…will have to drop in.

Posh: A New York City Stroll

June 14, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 14, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I went for a walk with the dog yesterday through the forest. My legs haven’t been shaved in 3 days, I have two zits on my chin that I can’t stop picking, and wore the wrong underwear so I had to keep picking my wedge. However, I am not shooting a reality tv show. Leaving her hotel this afternoon for a “walk” in the park, trailed by cameras for her one hour special, here’s Victoria dressed for the occasion. Full Story

Thick as Thieves

June 14, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 14, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Barbara Walters was presented with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. And guess who made an appearance? Kathy and Nicky Hilton. Coincidence or conspiracy? Esteemed journalist or senile cow with media favours at the ready for anyone rich enough to afford her friendship? Old Bag… please! Full Story

Low Tech Angelina?

June 14, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 14, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Angelina Jolie out and about in NYC today, face made up, lovely pink lips, dressed in white with matching bag and shoes, and clutching what appears to be an older model Blackberry. Am sad and pathetic to have even noticed. Anyway, Angie will be on Larry King Live tonight and also on The Daily Show with the one and only Jon Stewart. Full Story

Cate’s Coat

June 14, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 14, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And her man too. It’s winter in Australia, right? Cate at a screening during the Sydney Film Festival with husband Andrew Upton. That coat is a f&cking treasure. And her hair, and her glow, and her smile. And no…he’s no Brad Pitt. And clearly she’s definitely a bigger person than shallow, superficial, petty me. Full Story