Monday, June 11, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Back in Vancouver, happy to be home if only for a few days… New York and London next week!

So at press time, Barbara Walters is getting ready to appear on The View this morning to discuss her impromptu phone call with Paris Hilton yesterday. Barbara was apparently on the phone with Kathy Hilton when Paris beeped in from prison. Paris said she wanted to chat, called Barbara collect, and explained that she has now found the Lord, that she is tired of “playing dumb”, that her old act was no longer “cute”, and that she plans to emerge from prison a changed person, ready to “make a difference.”

Indeed. As we all know, that sh-t is unkillable. Paris, like all deadly viruses, will survive jail. And she will especially survive a comfortable room in the prison infirmary, with a telephone at her disposable. How luxe. But while I don’t doubt that Hollywood Ebola will rage back stronger than ever, the stink today surrounds Barbara Walters – Barbara Walters the obsequious, who will undoubtedly fellate the Hilton family for the first exclusive, who will likely interview Paris without the hardhitting questions, with her head shoved so far up that black hole, just like it was at the height of the Rosie vs Donald bloodbath when she chose not to back up her girl but catered instead to the whim of her wealthy "friend"…if you ask me, Barbara Walters is the worst representative on a show supposed to represent women.

And I’ve no doubt, given her ties to the Hiltons, Walters will lead the Paris positivity parade… Beware Barbara Walters: the old broad has been infected.

Monday – blogging real time all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. To Wendy and Ellery in Calgary – all my love and best wishes. Am hoping along with you that that baby girl stays safely tucked away for at least a few more weeks. Stay relaxed….will try to bring my best smut to help, Lainey

PPS. Tori Spelling and KFed Jr in Toronto this week attended to by a personal photographer/paparazzo seen following them around on several occasions by accident on purpose. Unfortunately, only one photo of their promotional visit has been published...snort. Master of Goldiggery gets no love in Canada? Eat that Junior…

The Best Dress with Pockets

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m telling you, Rachel Zoe for Cameron Diaz is a resounding smash hit. Grudging sigh. Anyway, here’s Cam tonight in London for Shrek wearing a dress to kill for and slit pockets along the side – love dresses with pockets! Except usually they’re of the baby doll variety on a full-ish skirt. Full Story

Pip & Zorro in London

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not sure why but this photo kills me. Only Antonio Banderas, you know what I mean? Only he could pull off that pucker. They are in London for the big splash premiere of Shrek. All of them, minus Eddie Murphy, on hand to take their film to the UK including Cam and Mike Myers but it’s the chemistry between JT and Zorro that is cracking me up the most. Full Story

More than just the music…

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kelly Clarkson’s new record is getting critically hammered. Off the success of her last effort, the expectation was that she’d take the same formula and churn out another list of 4 or 5 hits. Instead, Kelly decided to write her own stuff, even if it meant staying off the charts and pissing off Clive Davis. Full Story

The Smut Soiree Roots Giveaway!!!

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Warning: Shameless self promotion – suffer through it though and you’ll get to the contest. With just over a week’s notice, the girls of The Society pulled off a blast as always and with help from Perrier-Jouet for the champagne and of course the lovely Raymond at the Roots Flagship Store on Bloor for the venue and the discount for all guests. Full Story

Homo Saves the Karma Face?

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She homewrecked another woman’s baby daddy, suffered for it personally and professionally, walked around looking like ass for the better part of 3 years with unmistakable Karma Face…but since breaking up with Billy Crudup and taking up with Hugh Dancy the maybe gaybe Claire Danes has experienced somewhat of a resurgence. Full Story

Canada’s Walk of Fame

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Covered the carpet on Saturday night for eTalk at the Walk of Fame. For all you Nickelback fans out there, the boys surprised everyone and showed up in Armani tuxes, significant others on their arms, very respectable and respectFUL. Was nice to see rock superstars getting excited about meeting legends from other industries. Full Story

Goddess in Green

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Seriously…how cute is this??? Naomi Watts with nominee Liev at the Tony Awards last night – gorgessity in green and how can she stand? So little and yet so enormous… Am no expert but to my inexperienced eyes, that looks like any time any day pregnant. But what kills me is how beautiful she is - the best she’s ever been. Full Story

The LA Leach

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Victoria Beckham, back in LA to shoot scenes for her new “unscripted” reality tv show, dressed in designer sports shorts. Posh TV is apparently still scheduled to go forward in spite of the fact that very little usable material has been filmed. According to UK gossips, Posh is pushing ahead with the plans over David’s objection, encouraged by her appearance last week at the MTV Movie Awards and insisting that too much has been committed so far and that it is too late to back out. Full Story

The Daily Bitch … Please: Love for Water

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Transparent commercial whorage and Jennifer Aniston’s pathetic attempt to stay relevant – here’s Paul Sculfor leaving her house at the weekend. The new boyfriend she is denying is her boyfriend who is also supposedly a former drug addict and according to the web buzz also a maybe gaybe clutching a bottle of what looks like Smart Water perfectly posed for the pappies. Full Story

Paris Power and the Playhouse

June 11, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Paris to Barbara Walters – I have power to do good. I am changed. I have experienced a spiritual awakening. I am Paris Power. I miss Rosie. Help me… As mentioned earlier, Barbara Walters spoke to Paris Hilton yesterday and of course she had to share her message to the world: Paris is no longer content with what she used to be. Full Story