No Shelf on the Carpet

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2008 06:44:20 June 12, 2008 06:44:20

The PipWeasel last night on the carpet for the premiere of The Love Guru which – maybe it’s just me – looks like total ass. Even the trailer. Get Smart instead, ok? After all, Steve Carell deserves it more than Mike Myers. And at least Steve isn’t a crazy unfunny bitch on set. Full Story

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The Day The Earth Stood Still...and Flat

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2008 06:23:25 June 12, 2008 06:23:25

The Beckhams took their kids to Disneyland yesterday… Posh did NOT wear heels. You might say – so what? Who wears heels to Disneyland? Actually… SHE has worn heels to Disneyland. She did it last year. What’s with the flipflops then? And the baggy ass jeans? Is it possible that Victoria Beckham did not want to be photographed? Please. Full Story

The Brad Complex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2008 06:12:05 June 12, 2008 06:12:05

This is Chris Martin on the cover of Rolling Stone promoting Coldplay’s latest Viva La Vida. Surprisingly enough, Chris, who adamantly refuses to discuss his wife Gwyneth Paltrow, actually alludes to her past relationship with Brad Pitt. When discussing ambition and where he finds inspiration, Chris said: "You"ve got to be hungry. Full Story

June 12, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2008 06:08:51 June 12, 2008 06:08:51

Happy Birthday Melissa from your partner in smut Kim who is hoping that this year brings you a new job and a baby too! To Elly R in Montreal from Gillian E in Edmonton: B-Side is going to fall on its knees in Edmonton for you and your turquoise dress. Happy belated Birthday! For Jill Y who is having a boy – did you really like Ebola’s green pregnancy stunt dress? Actually…it would have looked WAY better on you. Full Story

Zune Exclusive Givewaway!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2008 06:54:11 June 12, 2008 06:54:11

Microsoft is jumping into the digital media player market and is introducing Zune, available in Canada starting tomorrow, Friday June 13th. Zune include mp3/video/photoplayer, wireless syncing and sharing capabilities, laser-engraved customization options, and an FM radio. Interested? I have TWO Zunes available to give away! Please send an email to [email protected] Full Story

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Justin Timberlake on Leno last night… is SO unattractive when he’s not singing or dancing. Please.Don’t.Talk.

In that respect, Pip is not unlike Becks. But Becks doesn’t bust his balls trying to be cool. Pip is like that boy dressed up in daddy’s suit trying to make his aunties laugh. And while it was endearing when he was 7, at 27 he’s just a Pipsqueak telling bad jokes.

Jay did try to ask him about the Shelf Ass Biel. Pippy tried to be all coy about the engagement question. In the end he denied that they were getting married… but you bet your boob job Shelfy and her agent were hanging off every word, so pleased to have been mentioned on The Tonight show she probably now has it on her audition reel.

Point of the story… Love Guru vs Get Smart next week. Don’t let Get Smart be a flop.

Or maybe I’m just grumpy. Pippy gets to play Torrey Pines and I get to play sh*t. Sigh. Spent the afternoon at the orthopaedic surgeon’s yesterday. The good news – no more sling. The bad news – no golf this season. No hope, no possibility. Nothing. Am sending a thousand virtual farts to f*cking Mischa Barton!

So Madonna is publicly denying she’s hired a divorce lawyer. Do you believe?

Wednesday – am blogging all day.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Post Partum Flirtation is not Halle Berry. Hell no.

PPS. This is not about Kate Hudson. Kate Hudson keeps making sh*tty movies. She is not an overreacher. Then again, she’s never worked at a rub’n’tug either.

Angie Talks Pitt Porn!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2008 14:10:57 June 11, 2008 14:10:57

Am all hot and bothered just reading this article…can you imagine watching them in person? Just being? Simply touching each other on a red carpet? The Pitt Porn? Damn. Said it before, will say it again: World Peace vs. Being in their Bedroom Don’t lie. You’d make that choice too. Full Story

New Strawberries Suck

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2008 13:51:00 June 11, 2008 13:51:00

My brilliant friend Dean just sent this out a few minutes ago – as they’re wont to do with everything these days, Strawberry Shortcake has received a modern makeover. Dean’s accompanying words were: Strawberry Shortcake is back, new tv show and movie, and EATING DISORDER?Seriously… I hate her. Full Story

Prettier than Ever

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2008 11:55:00 June 11, 2008 11:55:00

Minnie Driver today on the NY set of Motherhood starring Uma Thurman – lovely makeup, hair beautifully blown out… she’s never looked prettier. Will always think of her fondly from Good Will Hunting. It’s one of those movies I always watch if I come across it on tv on a Sunday. Full Story

Truth in Typos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2008 11:19:00 June 11, 2008 11:19:00

Thanks to Lisa D for sending this along – the Alba bitch’s birth announcement in a local newspaper. Best. Typo. Ever.  Full Story

How’s This for Ungrateful?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2008 10:30:38 June 11, 2008 10:30:38

Katherine Heigl, our favourite sanctimonious bitch who can’t shut the f&ck up, has announced with great fanfare that she has taken her name out of the running for Emmy consideration. This is her statement: “I am truly grateful for the honor that the Academy bestowed upon me last year. Full Story