Angelina in Th"Iraq

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 10:04:41 August 28, 2007 10:04:41

Were you one of the 3 million + who watched the video of that learning impaired pageant queen bungle up her answer during the Miss Teen USA pageant the other day? If you haven’t the pleasure, click here. For some reason, she repeatedly refers to Iraq as “th’Iraq”… kills me every time. Full Story

The Daily Gorgessity: Vanessa Paradis

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 09:27:46 August 28, 2007 09:27:46

Johnny Depp knows best. A few years ago when he showed up with his Vanessa at countless awards shows looking like they’d just gotten off her broom, I wasn’t feelin’ it all too hard. I"m a daft cow. Of course he’d be with a woman who dresses off centre, of course our Johnny would never end up with the prom queen, of course Vanessa Paradis is his perfect match. Full Story

Vegas Wardrobe & Bradley Cooper

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 00:00:00 August 28, 2007 00:00:00

Cameron Diaz is in NYC to film a new movie called What Happens in Vegas. Shooting began this week – here she is on set yesterday rocking a killer dress. And if this first example is any indication, her wardrobe for this project is going to be mayjah. As you know, Cam has been on a series of dates of late with John Mayer. Full Story

Textbook Swoon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 07:46:19 August 28, 2007 07:46:19

He doesn’t do it for me but some crazy bitch always sends me hate mail whenever I rag on his pansy ass so he must do it for someone. And I suppose, in a theatrical, the-cameras-are-rolling romantic comedy kind of way, Jude Law has a certain flavour …if that’s your thing. Check it out – he’s now being linked to a German model called Susan Hoecke. Full Story

Douche-free?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 00:00:00 August 28, 2007 00:00:00

Two biggest knocks against Elisha Cuthbert: that she is friends with that disease Paris Hilton and that she’s been dating that loser ass Sean Avery. Sean Avery is a hockey player, the kind of guy born with a “beat me” face and a matching prick attitude – constantly smirking, too good to have manners, a dude you’d imagine who’d will lose his sh-t if his girl so much as said thank you to another man for picking up her napkin… you know the type. Full Story

Monday, August 27, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Sad smut or a cover up? Owen Wilson situation analysis below.

Britney’s fine parenting on display yet again and a Linebacker Tranny returns to LA. Jessica Simpson is reasserting herself onto the scene. The photos are delightful.

Monday, live blogging all day. Check back often for updates.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. The God of Animals book review en route tomorrow. Current obsession: The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids by Alexandra Robbins – non fiction that reads like fiction and if you love teens, you will LOVE The Overachievers.

The Cuss Master

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 00:00:00 August 27, 2007 00:00:00

By no means an original thought, and probably not what we should teach our children but still… if Samuel L Jackson was presiding over a Master Class in Cussing, I’d be there in a minute. I still laugh every time I think of his “foot massage” exchange with John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. Full Story

Tranny Shoulders, Hooker Heels

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 13:23:50 August 27, 2007 13:23:50

Jessica Simpson is a sweet girl. I’ve met her, I’ve spoken with her, she’s not a bitch like Alba, though I suppose all hags probably have some measure of intelligence, of which Jessica Simpson is in short supply. But still… being that she’s not a total cow, I feel badly on occasions when she tries so hard, and still, and still after all her efforts comes up ManTran. Full Story

Rossum Makes a Video!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 13:00:08 August 27, 2007 13:00:08

Cheese Rossum music deserves a cheese Rossum video. So of course Emmy had to put her songs to film, applying nauseating facial expressions to go along with her nauseating lyrics and nauseating “opera” enunciation and delivery:Slow me downDon’t let love pass me by, justShow me how ‘cause I’m ready to fall These photos certainly do the words justice, non? Here’s Emmy on her video shoot the other day, emoting Rossumly in a red dress and angel curls. Full Story

Saving the Boo Boos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 12:32:06 August 27, 2007 12:32:06

Courtroom drama today involving Britney’s boys. Her attorney and KFed’s attorney have been summoned in response to a reported investigation being conducted by Children and Family Services. In question, not surprisingly, is Britney’s ability to properly parent her babies. Just the other day, Britney’s parents were conveniently photographed in Federline’s neighbourhood babysitting SPF and JJ while their loser father is off shooting One Tree Hill in North Carolina. Full Story

Gisele? Really?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 10:06:05 August 27, 2007 10:06:05

I don’t watch it and I don’t get it. But many of you do. Dancing with the Stars…somehow it’s still on the air. And thriving. And the new season is about to begin. ABC will reveal the new crop of “celebrity” dancers on Wednesday but TMZ has the early word – most are below B List trying to stay relevant. Full Story