Geriatric Sex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr teamed up onstage last night at the New York Comedy Festival and both brought their bitches! I love mean Rosie. Mean crazy Rosie is even better. But it was Roesanne who had the best lines: On Catherine Zeta Jones:“No one wants to f*ck an old man, especially for four hours. Full Story

Chicken Fried Duran Duran

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 07:50:31 November 7, 2007 07:50:31

Duran Duran’s new song is called Falling Down. They’ve just shot the video – description below: “A woman dressed in a fur coat and fedora hat, is seen being dragged into a building by men in white coats. The brunette then kicks and screams in a small room, while medics try to calm her down. Full Story

Mandy, Matthew, and the Ring

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

Page Six is reporting that Matthew Perry (who???) is dating Mandy Moore. That the two were seen at dinner the other night holding hands and whispering and cute. Totally makes sense to me. Matthew is Wonder Bread on the outside and all kindsa dark and damaged on the inside. Full Story

Man Fight

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

Hardly…but this is how men throw down in Hollywood. So George Clooney and his tarty little girlfriend Sarah Larsen are having dinner the other night in LA. That cheeseball Fabio (romance novel covers) was seated with a group of women at a table nearby. Fabio’s companions started taking photos of their own group, George the narcissist thought they were shooting him, so he asked them to stop and Fabio told him to chill, that his friends were merely snapping pics of themselves. Full Story

Workin’ It

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 06:24:17 November 7, 2007 06:24:17

Damn. Look at KatE Cruise workin’ that carpet. She is spectacular! Clearly lessons with Posh have paid off, only Katie, like all clever pupils, has managed to inject her own warmth and sass into Posh’s plastic pose. Even the Posh Bob looks better on the understudy. Bet your concrete tits Mrs Beckham is not happy about that. Full Story

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Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dear Gossips,

We were married 6 years ago this week – longer than many, if not most, Hollywood marriages. To celebrate, he surprised me with a suite at the hotel where he proposed and where we held our wedding reception, dropping the dog off at grandma’s in the afternoon and then sweeping me away for a night of romance.

But smut never rests.

There’s Kid Rock just as we’re heading out for a walk. Accompanied by an overweight bodyguard who doesn’t look like he could do much damage to anyone and some other loser, Kid gave us a head nod with a “what’s up” before lifting his left arm and sniffing. Pure sex.

And then Pure Sex actually walked in. Of course… David Beckham. Yes David Beckham. In the hotel. He’s here for an exhibition match tomorrow (Wednesday) against the Vancouver Whitecaps. It’s turned into quite a big deal for locals – they’ve even adjusted the ferry schedule just to accommodate extra travellers coming and going for a glimpse at the Hotness.

So the Hotness is here. Which is why the air in this place is suddenly thick with lust. Girls at reception are giggling, catering staff peeking around corners, horny ass broads waiting outside the front doors hoping for some eye contact and infidelity.

Sigh.

Gossip never sleeps.

Tuesday – am online all day, unless I get stuck in an elevator with the Golden Balls…yes, yes, yes!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. To Serena who is finally home after a lengthy pilgrimage to India – Georgia missed you. Time to catch up!

On Her Game

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2007 16:05:00 November 6, 2007 16:05:00

When Kate Moss is on her A Game, there is no other. Check her out first shopping in Notting Hill, then ending the day at Claridges rockin’ a killer sweater and red nails and a grey purse I must have. Amazingly enough, her face actually looks fresh, even rested, and recovered…must be her one coke day off? Photos from Splash Full Story

Right and Wrong

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2007 00:00:00 November 6, 2007 00:00:00

Last night at the ACE Awards – Mandy Moore (Right) and Jessica Simpson (Wrong). This dress looks like leopard brocade. And brocade is just so old. And Jess is not old. She is young, she is vibrant, she has the worst taste ever, and she is addicted to hairspray. It’s not the most flattering look, is it? By contrast, Mandy Moore is delightful in flattering black and Louboutins – what else does a girl need? Love the subdued makeup, love that her hair actually moved, love that she has kept her curves and refuses to stop eating – or “hypnosis” as Lily Allen likes to call it. Full Story

Jennifer & Aaron: Lovematch in Vancouver?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2007 00:00:00 November 6, 2007 00:00:00

If Aaron Eckhart is currently single, it’s a perfect perfect perfect match. Perhaps love will bloom on set in Vancouver? Have just learned that Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart will shoot Travelling in Vancouver beginning January. Aaron will play a grief expert called Burke Preston (no…seriously…) who has closure issues of his own and who finds solace in Jennifer’s character – Eloise – who loves to garden and has her own dark history. Full Story

Fan-friendly Angelina

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2007 13:16:16 November 6, 2007 13:16:16

The Insider has the most charming video of Angelina last night on the carpet at the Beowulf premiere, arriving all giddy with Brad and then unable to resist the pleas of her fans – one in particular who had dressed for the occasion in a “Adopt Me Angelina” t-shirt. Full Story

The Natural Granny Freeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2007 00:00:00 November 6, 2007 00:00:00

Does this look like a face not poked by needles, not pulled by strings, not scrubbed by a surgeon? Apparently Nicole Kidman expects you to believe that yes, indeed, what you see is what was always meant to be. In a new interview with Marie Claire, Nicole says she is “natural”: "To be honest, I am completely natural. Full Story