Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Lions for Lambs comes out on Friday which is why it’s GMD week! And while many prematurely proclaimed his professional death last year, even if Lions does not kill at the box office, it looks like Tom Cruise has officially re-installed himself on the power list, thanks to a fetching young wife and an irresistible Little Sci. Case in point – last night’s dinner at Cipriani in his honour brought out some major stars paying their respects. Everyone is kissing his ass. Sigh. It’s like he’s Voldemort…

As for Britney – how pathetic do you have to be to be ordered to PAY $120,000 for your ex husband to sue you over custody of your kids???

KFed apparently has no income other than the allowance he receives from his Chicken Fried Bankroll. And those monthly alimony payments totalling $15,000 are supposed to dry up in a week. As such, he can’t afford his legal fee. So he’s hitting her up to cover his bills – and she has to do it because she’s so f&cked in the head, she’s deemed less fit to parent their children than he is.

Only Britney could live a life this ass backwards.

Wednesday, blogging all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Hello Fromage!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 16:32:15 November 7, 2007 16:32:15

New issue of Hello Canada on newsstands tomorrow with an exclusive interview with French Canadian Cheese Celine Dion on leaving Vegas behind and going on the road with her beloved Rene and her precious Rene Charles. Every other word is “beautiful” and “happiness” and “singing” and “hearts”. Full Story

Oh Honey… Why???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 15:27:25 November 7, 2007 15:27:25

Brittany Murphy looks sooooo great. Better than she has maybe ever. But for some reason, unfathomable literally to everyone, she up and married this ….creep. A creep with allegedly some illegal alien issues and a very, very shady past. WTF??? Must have also been an awkward scene last night as both Brittany and Ashton Kutcher – see here Full Story

Not in Real Life

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

Received an email a few weeks ago from a fan of The Office (American) suspecting that there may be something going on in real life between Jenna Fischer and John Krasinski given their adorable chemistry on the show. Apparently among rabid supporters, this is their biggest fantasy, especially after hearing word that Jenna had separated from her husband. Full Story

MiniVan Tea Party and a Full on Assault

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

People Magazine is the Bible for the MiniVan Majority. And today, it is a full-on assault! On the cover of the latest issue of the magazine – Keith Urban, see attached, waxing hilarious about his employer wife, an exclusive deal likely scheduled well in advance withOUT considering Tom Cruise’s timing. Full Story

GMD Permed!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

All hail the Xenu! After much lobbying over the last few days, and much objection to the GMD’s pin straight hair, perm shots have surfaced showing the GMD with sweet waves! Check it out – first look at Tom in Valkryie, the film besieged with problems during shooting in Germany this past summer. Full Story

Demi’s New ‘Do

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 09:58:45 November 7, 2007 09:58:45

Demi Moore’s husband Ashton Kutcher stepped out last night at the Juicy Couture store opening in Beverly Hills showing off a much shorter ‘do… and a rather interesting cut. You likey? Me likey. Me likey Ashton clean-faced and handsome. Am also feeling his Pipsqueak ensemble. Also love how their noses are starting to match. Full Story

Country Bloat

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

So Faith Hill lost her sh*t a few months ago when some skank started grabbin’ at Tim McGraw during a concert. Tim ain’t my thing but I can see why he’d inspire some serious horny especially in his tight jeans. Until now… Tim and Faith showed up arm in arm last night at the BMI Country Awards in Nashville and while she looks alright, he looks far from. Full Story

Keira Hates Rossum Too!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

Can’t wait til Keira Knightley gets over her early 20s black angst. If only she could see how predictably textbook it is to walk around hating happiness and reading Camus. Keira on the cover of the new Elle Magazine admits she’s a “moody bastard”. Fair enough. But of course what gets her “moody” is the news. Full Story

Geriatric Sex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 7, 2007 00:00:00 November 7, 2007 00:00:00

Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr teamed up onstage last night at the New York Comedy Festival and both brought their bitches! I love mean Rosie. Mean crazy Rosie is even better. But it was Roesanne who had the best lines: On Catherine Zeta Jones:“No one wants to f*ck an old man, especially for four hours. Full Story