Years of Practice

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 14:24:07 October 4, 2007 14:24:07

Now THIS is mayjah. After a relatively low key month and some family troubles that are hopefully behind her, Posh is back and more mayjah than ever. Check her out today in Paris for the Cavalli flagship store opening. In all three photos, with and without Roberto, her pose and her facial expression remain EXACTLY THE SAME. Full Story

Chicken Fried Judged!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 00:00:00 October 4, 2007 00:00:00

It’s called Tough Love. And it’s about f&cking time. After all, this is a girl who has lived in excess for almost her entire life. Excessive working conditions, excessive partying conditions, with no structure, no limits, no reason to be accountable. And therefore a legendary laziness that is now threatening the welfare of her children. Full Story

Pip’n’Ass Eat Ice

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 00:00:00 October 4, 2007 00:00:00

Just a quick update on my friends from earlier, the same ones who lost their sh-t after seeing JT and his Shelf Ass at Eggstacy a few hours ago. In their giggling hysteria, they forgot to mention that the two seemed like “a normal couple” with no bodyguards in sight. Full Story

Mound Watch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 00:00:00 October 4, 2007 00:00:00

Can’t stand Bump Watch. But then she had to go and deny it. Blatantly. And make a fool out of Janice Min. No one makes a fool out of Janice Min. You will recall that last week, amid frenzied reports that she is pregnant, even though, as I’ve been saying, her hair stylist has been telling the free world, and you know the gays are never wrong in this respect, Jennifer Lopez still denied it to Us Weekly. Full Story

Pip’n’Ass eat Eggs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 09:36:24 October 4, 2007 09:36:24

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel just moments ago were eating at Eggstacy in Yorkville in Toronto. Four of my girlfriends were there. No…let me clarify. Four of my girlfriends busted their asses to get there when they heard. I am embarrassed for them so I will not name names. But they know what they did. Full Story

Snob on the Road

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 08:59:04 October 4, 2007 08:59:04

As you may have heard my Gwynnie is joining chef Mario Batali on an eating expedition through Spain. Gwyneth spent a summer in Spain when she was a teen, she loves the country, and apparently jumped at the chance to join Mario in the quest to find the perfect meal. Their travels will be documented in a 13 episode reality show to air on PBS (of course PBS!) called Spain…On the Road Again. Full Story

Black Mutes the Tranny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 08:32:19 October 4, 2007 08:32:19

Jessica Simpson should wear black more often, non? She looks lovely when she’s toned down - without the tacky big hair, without her tits spilling everywhere. For someone with such extreme features, black is her great equaliser. Black tames the trash and softens up her tranny. Check it out – though there’s still an odd tightness around her face, Jess out for dinner last night was right from head to toe. Full Story

Matching Pitt Pick Up

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 00:00:00 October 4, 2007 00:00:00

Brad and Angelina picked up Maddox together from school yesterday. Maddox appears to have had a fun afternoon and clearly adores it when his parents come to fetch him together. Love that they’re sending him to French school. The lower tier rags meanwhile are continuing to alternate between calling for a split and calling for another pregnancy. Full Story

Surprise! Denise Leaks More

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 4, 2007 07:59:43 October 4, 2007 07:59:43

Denise Richards filed court documents in her increasingly acrimonious court battle with Charlie Sheen last week and somehow… shocker! … a few of those pages have made it into the hands of reporters, now printed for our smutty pleasure. Of course this just days after Charlie released a scathing statement of his own denouncing his ex wife as an opportunistic lying bitch who is only raising these allegations against him because her career is in the crapper and because she’s jealous he’s found someone else, AFTER her attempt at reconciliation ended in rejection. Full Story

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Dear Gossips,

So Britney is finally legally able to drive in California. How easy was that? So easy that she actually could have received her license way back in April when she wrote and passed (wtf?!?!) her written test. But Chicken Fried Lazy couldn’t be bothered to take her thumb out of her ass until a judge sent away her babies.

Another court showdown is scheduled for today and it’s expected that Britney will be held to her drug and alcohol concessions if she’s to have any hope of being alone with her boys in the near future. Will keep you posted.

Had to endure the nauseating Oprah yesterday for Halle Berry. LOVE Halle Berry. And also wanted a glimpse of Gabriel – unfortunately he wasn’t around. But Halle’s happiness is infectious. Very pregnant. Very happy. So farking beautiful. And as always so amazingly candid. Girl was not shy about sharing how desperate they were for a child. They TRIED. It was WORK. And the way she told it was adorable and endearing. Halle has never been more appealing - almost made me want to thaw out my womb.

Wednesday – am back at home for a good long stretch. Yay! Live blogging all day. Yay!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. To Cathy M who has been reading me a long, long time… Congratulations on the new title. Very impressive and well deserved!

PPS. To my dear, dear, dear friend Duana for the most amazing voice message last night. Yours was the only opinion I was afraid of hearing. Thank you, love you, owe you.

Chicken Fried Supervised

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 3, 2007 18:56:17 October 3, 2007 18:56:17

All eyes were at court today after KFed and his eyepatch arrived for the custody hearing. At least he showed up. And where was the Chicken Fried? Well…TMZ.com is saying she spent part of her day driving around looking for a Starbucks with her dog – see attached. Full Story