Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Dear Gossips,

The GMD hasn’t been photographed in 3 weeks. Not since presenting Katie to Forest Whitaker. What could he possibly be up to? You know he’s up to something… and I kinda can’t wait to see what it is. The world is a little duller without Tom Cruise’s creepy antics.

I’ve missed him…you?

Sorry ‘bout the late start today. I literally can’t move my ass. Working out sucks balls.

Wednesday, posting all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Keira Knightley is not being held. Beyonce isn"t either. 

A Sensible Swap

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 11:55:00 March 26, 2008 11:55:00

So Benji Madden and Ebola are now supposedly an item. This less than two weeks after he broke off his engagement with Sophie Monk. The much better looking Sophie Monk. And for those who say looks aren’t everything – are you going to tell me that diseased virus Paris Hilton has a better personality than Sophie Monk? Really??? But clearly… clearly this makes more sense. Full Story

Dumbass Parade

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 11:08:00 March 26, 2008 11:08:00

Richie Sambora arrested for DUI – another f*cking bonehead trying to murder people with his vehicle. WTF? Bon Jovi is super rich ass. The band, I mean. Millions of albums sold, a big stadium act, the man has money. He can afford a fecking driver. And while his addiction has obviously been a lifelong battle, it’s also not an excuse. Full Story

Ryan Phillippe’s 3rd child?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 10:01:00 March 26, 2008 10:01:00

SO many people are going to be pissed! Click here for the full smutty break down AND an attempted cover-up. Is Abbie Cornish knocked up? How fertile is this man??? And how do you think the others feel if Abbie gets to have it? You know Type A is gritting her teeth through her sunshine smile. Full Story

The GMD and the Seven Dwarves

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 09:24:00 March 26, 2008 09:24:00

Speak of the Xenu… this just in! The GMD has been found. With exclusive information on what he’s been up to. Am told that Tom Cruise was spotted yesterday at the Walt Disney studio lot taking a meeting with Dick Cook who is the top dog at Walt Disney. Little Sci was with her dad, no Katie, and they were outside the Team Disney Building with the Seven Dwarves (the Gay Midget Dwarf and the Seven Dwarves!) looking at the statues of Mickey and Minnie and they were attended to by 3 assistants and 3 security. Full Story

One More in Training

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 08:46:00 March 26, 2008 08:46:00

Demi Moore in New York headed out of her hotel with youngest daughter Tallulah Belle. My previous comments about Tallulah are here and as you can see, at 14, she’s already training for it. Full Story

2002

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 08:28:35 March 26, 2008 08:28:35

Nick Lachey and gorgeous pageant queen Vanessa Minnillo were out for dinner last night at Katsu-ya looking like they just stepped out of 2002. Boot cut over pointy toe for her and borderline boyband/guido tee for him… not unlike what my mom sent over Full Story

Bad Skin vs Chubb

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:42:11 March 26, 2008 07:42:11

After seeing these photos of Victoria Beckham yesterday, my friend Beth, a doctor who focuses extra on girly issues, sent me the following: “Acne is worse when malnourished or stressed. Full Story

Teeth Are Bad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:40:00 March 26, 2008 07:40:00

My mother is old school – she says girls should show teeth when they smile. Especially if they’re lucky enough to have relatively good teeth. Teeth are a touchy subject with Asians. Because we are genetically predisposed to having f&cked up teeth. We are taught how to cut in line Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Canada Loves Madge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:36:27 March 26, 2008 07:36:27

She’s 50 in just 4 months but Madonna can still rock it and she still owns it. Warner Music announced today that Madge’s 4 Minutes with Justin Timberlake is the “fastest single to hit #1 in Canadian radio history”. Seriously… who are the dumbasses who keep saying it’s over? It’s not over. Full Story

March 26, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2008 07:33:22 March 26, 2008 07:33:22

Happy Birthday Jessica! Kevin sent me a 2nd request…hope I got it right this time? He was also very contrite. And sweet. I forgive him. To Mariana on your 28th with love from Alejandra: we miss you on the east coast…but hang in there, your dream job is waiting for you! To Jennifer M from Sarah R – happy belated birthday and hope you’re feeling better? And finally… For Hilary Zoe Joan: you will be great tomorrow… I know it. Full Story