Prison Bitch… Please

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dragging that dog around only when it’s convenient – as a dog owner, this just might be her most heinous crime yet. I mean really… Really… While shopping, while the pappies are hounding her left right and centre, in the middle of a media sh-tstorm, in the middle of a clothing boutique no less, how much comfort can this hag really be getting from her Tink exactly at this moment? Pray Goddess some bull dyke puts a collar on this bitch behind bars and drags her around like a sex gimp. Full Story

A New Fortress

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

New home for the GMD and his RoboBride. The cost? Only $35 million. Katie’s new prison home is in Beverly Hills, seven bedrooms, nine bath, 1.3 acres, with – of course – a tennis court and a pool. Turns out the Cruise compound up to this point has only been a rental. So now with a more permanent residence with his permanent wife, Tom is said to be anxious to give Little Sci a little sibling. Full Story

Imperfect Perfect

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Am sitting at Pearson airport with my producer Lara. As she says, it’s all about cutting the jeans into shorts just so…with the pocket sticking out below the hem. Here’s Rachel Bilson with chipped nails and a couple spots and the best mini red Chanel looking perfect imperfect – sometimes non polished is better than flawless, non? Full Story

Marrying Random

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I like this girl…she is a doll. Have met Brittany Murphy twice, both times she was a doll, if not a little crazy. Especially last year at a Toronto Film Festival afterparty drunk off her tree. Still…she is lovely. Lovely and polite and not Jessica Alba. But she does have an engagement problem. Full Story

It’s Always the Shoes

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Cameron Diaz – always always the best footwear. And the premiere of Shrek The Third was no exception. Pink dress, metallic pumps – love, love, love. She looks divine, non? And well timed too. Because Pip was there and you bet your boob job she wanted it bad. To be breathtaking. To turn heads. Full Story

Man-Purse vs Injections

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Two men, not so tough call. First - Jared Leto a week ago at the Australia VMAs. As I said at the time, Jared worked the straight iron and appears to have taken over from Kate Bosworth in emaciation. I’m told from Aussie gossips that among all the celebrities in attendance including Nicole Richie, Good Charlotte, and Fergie it was Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars who were the most demanding, the most outrageous divas. Full Story

Tranny & the Pussycats

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson in Vegas for the 2nd anniversary of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge. As you can see, Tranny factor is in full effect as is her full blown skank. How else can you describe the expression on her face while seated next to Mario Lopez? Some of you say I’m too harsh on her, that just because she has big tits and shows them off doesn’t mean that she’s asking to spend most of her life with it shoved in her mouth, workin’ on her knees. Full Story

Perennially Pinned Pupils caught on tape

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Only a matter of time. Lindsay Lohan allegedly caught on videotape snorting cocaine, pulling a baggie out of her pocket and shoving her finger up a friend’s nose before hoovering some for herself. The tape, taken one night a few weeks ago at Teddy’s, has been sold to the News of the World by one of her friends with explicit details about the Lilo lifestyle and drugstyle including a blackbook list of flings and lovers. Full Story

45 Days for Rocky

May 7, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 7, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And why not? As I promised last week, if Rocky could secure a jail sentence for Hollywood Ebola, he would sit atop the Freebie Five for a month. But given Paris’s sentence, why not 45 days? That’s how long she’s supposed to be locked up, non? As for whether or not she’s really going to be locked up, many are predicting a very short stay in the slammer, if at all. Full Story

Friday, May 4, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Grey’s Anatomy – the 2 hour special. Never thought I would enjoy watching a hit show unravel so spectacularly but in this case, it’s like the Britney Spears of network television. Just when you don’t think it can get any worse… it actually does! Which is why the reviews have been scathing – according to Entertainment Weekly"s Gregory Kirschling:

I"m trying to think of something pleasant to say about last night"s two-hour Grey"s Anatomy, and...I"m still thinking.


But hey… at least Addison’s wardrobe looks promising, and really - what could be more important than that?

It’s Friday – GO ROCKY! Rocky is the Los Angeles City Attorney who is determined to throw Paris Hilton in the slammer for 45 days. Rocky is my new boyfriend. And Rocky goes to court today. Let’s hope Rocky takes down Hollywood Ebola… temporarily at least.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Best story ever: Kristi S, longtime LaineyGossip.com reader from Fullerton CA – turns out it’s her grandmother Elsie McLean who has been the much hyped media superstar this week for hitting her first hole-in-one last month at the age of…

102!!!

Elsie plays golf 3 times a week, bridge on Wednesdays, and still drives herself around town. And she has been invited to appear on Jay Leno tonight and will be cuddling up with Ellen DeGeneres next Tuesday. Y’all must watch. Elsie is a gem!!!

Hollywood Ebola to Prison!!!

May 4, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 4, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He did it! Rocky did it! The LA Attorney"s office wanted to put that sh-t away and a judge has agreed - Paris Hilton will serve 45 days in jail. And unlike other Hollywood situations this was NOT planned - definitely conspiracy but this time on our side! That skank did not expect to be sent to the slammer. Full Story