Monday, September 10, 2007

Dear Gossips,

It was sooooo bad. But not spectacularly bad. Which is why it was soooo bad.

Britney’s assy comeback at the VMAs in Vegas, of course. Who else?

Admit it. You watched because you either wanted to see her kill it or trip off her weave and fall off the stage. Britney being Britney, however, she succeeded at pulling off the one thing, the one thing that made the entire exercise not only completely useless but also completely uninteresting…because if she had actually gone down in a ball of fire – slipping on her chicken fried grease or choking on her gum – if she had actually turned into a colossal trainwreck and crashed and burned before our very eyes, THAT would have been entertaining….even classic.

Instead, she just stood up there and sucked mediocre, flat sh-t. I felt totally ripped off. And also totally embarrassed for MTV – as my degenerate husband would say: the entire show licked balls.

Cutting off performances after 30 seconds, jumping around from room to room, the lighting was atrocious, with absolutely no fan support to build excitement, the VIPs in the audience looked bewildered, and clearly no one bothered to stop and think how shooting in a “club environment” would affect the viewers at home. Tearing it up on the dance floor is exhilarating when you’re actually there…watching others in the club tear it up from the comfort of your couch – not so much.

MTV has pissed on what used to be an institution – the best, most off the wall awards show all year is now probably lamer than the Emmys. Except of course when Kid Rock decided to kick Tommy Lee’s ass.

More on MTV and Britney later.

TIFF has been completely balls to the wall. Between the near “Brangelina” riot in Yorkville and George, Matt, Ben, Sienna, Charlize, and on and on and on… there was literally no time to post. But plenty of time to gather smut.

Am scrambling to update site as quickly as possible. Please forgive typos. Shoots today followed by two red carpet premieres tonight, including Ryan Gosling’s at the Ryerson. Full details to follow.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Check back later - lots of swag to give away!

The Taupes in Toronto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 00:00:00 September 10, 2007 00:00:00

Ben Affleck played supporting character this weekend at TIFF as Jennifer Garner, his brother Casey, and his BFF Matt were all promoting films. Here’s Taupe looking taupe on the Juno carpet the other night – wonderful dress, boring hair, and the footwear was rather inspired too. In all fairness though, my producer Deano saw her at the WireImage lounge and said she was surprisingly much more interesting to look at in person. Full Story

Just as Good – a Weekend with Matt

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 08:16:35 September 10, 2007 08:16:35

It was all about Matt Damon for us this weekend at CTV – we partnered to present a special screening of his documentary Running the Sahara on Saturday afternoon, we hosted the Running the Sahara afterparty at 299 Queen West that night, and we were one of the sponsors on Sunday night at the OnexOne gala at the Four Seasons Centre. Full Story

Pitt Porn – on the roof in Toronto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 00:00:00 September 10, 2007 00:00:00

Turns out I spoke too soon. It turns out Pitt Porn DID make an appearance at TIFF – just not on the red carpet. The place to be for celebrities on Saturday night was Roof II– at Cannes it was the terrace bar at the Du Cap, this year it’s a terrace at the Park Hyatt . As I mentioned earlier, Brad and Angelina were supposed to go elsewhere but for the psychotic obsession of the Brangelunatics, they were obliged to change their plans. Full Story

Speaking to Sienna

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 07:29:52 September 10, 2007 07:29:52

Friday night at the Holt Renfrew launch of Twenty8Twelve. Was on the carpet covering arrivals for eTalk before heading inside the party. About the clothes – I’m sorry to say, WAY better quality than Kate Moss’s. So many cute pieces they apparently sold out in a day and have had to restock twice this weekend. Full Story

Brangelunatics in Toronto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 00:00:00 September 10, 2007 00:00:00

Brad and Angelina arrived undercover in Toronto to promote Jesse James. They were staying where they stayed last year at the Park Hyatt (and just because she wasn’t “seen” back then doesn’t mean she didin’t show up at the super exclusive party of one of Canada’s wealthiest couples for a philanthropic dinner) with an underground parkade to bring them in and out without being mobbed. Full Story

Pam’s Proud Moment

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 05:24:16 September 10, 2007 05:24:16

Pam’s romantic resumé is all class. Her two ex-husbands, seated a few tables apart, apparently could not stop taunting each other. Needless to say, because all white trash confrontations end in a scrap, they ended up coming to blows, with Kid decking Tommy hard before security stepped in to drag them out. Full Story

Chicken Fried Bomb

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2007 00:00:00 September 10, 2007 00:00:00

They opened the show on a shot of her budget ass nappy weave – it was a sign of things to come. At least try, you know? At least flail your arms and give yourself a hernia from the effort. At least SHOW UP!!! Instead, Britney went through the motions in a daze…disinterested, disengaged, maybe stoned off her tree, she could barely remember the words, barely had enough energy to lift her arms, barely bothered to do much of anything to say nothing of the tired, uninspired choreography. Full Story

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Friday, September 7, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Between TIFF and Fashion Week and official confirmation of Britney’s return to the VMAs…it’s been a killer week.

Film festival fever officially underway in Toronto, many major arrivals yesterday, and Reese and Jake are on junket duty this morning just outside the eTalk Lounge. Will keep you posted for any corridor chemistry and test the gaydar up close and personal.

As far as film buzz is concerned – screened Lust, Caution yesterday… AMAZING. LaineyMovies review will be posted tomorrow. Early acting accolades? All about Viggo! His portrayal in Eastern promises is ridiculously first class. Oscar momentum beginning to build and Tony Leung Chiu Wai deserves one too!

Thursday – am on junket schedule today and shooting for eTalk. Will post all morning and on the fly in the afternoon. And then of course tonight… Sienna Miller at the launch of Twenty8Twelve! Check back tomorrow for all details. Will let you know if she rips up the town! Please forgive typos!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Heads up Canada – the eTalk Star Schmooze will be televised live tonight on Star and in Toronto on CityTV at 10pm ET featuring a live opening by Hilary Duff. If you’re in the MuchMusic neighbourhood, come say hi … I’ll be there!

Smutty Sponsor: SoftLips Exclusive Giveaway #5

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 7, 2007 08:21:44 September 7, 2007 08:21:44

PLEASE READ INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY. PLEASE NOTE THE CORRECT EMAIL ADDRESS AND TITLE. Otherwise your entry will NOT be filed properly. The answer for Week 4 – Fergie! It’s Week #5 of the SoftLips Smutty Sponsorship and another SoftLips Full Story

Her Perfect Match?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 7, 2007 07:48:44 September 7, 2007 07:48:44

As far as the crazy spectrum goes, Natalie Portman fans aren’t quite as demented as the Brangelunatics but perhaps a little less depressed as the McGoslings. They are however particularly mental about Gael Garcia Bernal. Apparently, in their eyes, she deserves better. Is Nathan Bogle better? Well he’s certainly a hunk. Full Story