Not for Everyone

April 18, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 18, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Soooo mean, I know. But I’m still laughing. I mean, how can you not laugh? How can you??? Look at her! Look.At.Her!!! She’s top heavy and she has a tranny man body…and she’s wearing high waisted pants that look like bloomers and worse yet – she WORE THEM TO A CLUB!!! Jessica Simpson, last night, Winstons! No seriously…I can’t stop looking. Full Story

Paranoid and Delusional talks again

April 18, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 18, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her mother thinks she’ll win an Oscar, she herself went off a few months ago about being stalked by imaginary enemies and needing help from Al Gore, now Lindsay Lohan is talking sh-t yet again, this time about having to play security for her friends and family and how clubbing, even as a recovering addict, will always be part of her life. Full Story

A Lavish Beckham Birthday

April 18, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 18, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Over £100,000 spent for Victoria’s birthday in Paris – jewels, shoes, clothes, bags all purchased on a shopping spree that had been previously arranged by David, including custom fit appointments at Christian Louboutin and Azzedine Alaia. And that was just the day time. Night time consisted of more extravagances in their suite at the Ritz and booking out the entire Guy Savoy restaurant so that his wife could sip water and stare at her food in peace. Full Story

The Time Traveler’s Wife

April 18, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 18, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Some stories are better left alone… though I suppose if it has to be, The Time Traveler’s Wife is off to a good start. Casting is finally complete. Rachel McAdams had long been primed for Clare and Eric Bana is now confirmed to play Henry, the Time Traveler who leaves behind his wife. Film rights to the book were acquired a few years ago by Brad Pitt’s Plan B. Full Story

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Dear Gossips,

So UK gossips are buzzing that the Prince broke up with Kate Middleton because he was too weak to stand up to the criticism leveled at his girl by his upper crust friends and advisors.

Apparently Kate Middleton is too common? Because her mother actually worked for a living? Because her mother used to be a flight attendant? Because her mother said “Pleased to meet you” instead of “How do you do?” upon meeting the Queen last year?

Balding, beaver bucks, can"t close his mouth, and now a p&ssy. sh-t – William really is the catch of a lifetime, isn’t he?

Today is Tuesday, online all day, check back often for new posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Why does Steve Carrell freak me out?? Because if I close my eyes and picture Pinocchio all grown up, I see Steve Carrell. And because I couldn’t stomach the gradual growth of his hairplugs episode by episode until he achieved full frontal coverage in Season 3.

PPS. Happy 30th birthday to Emily and a smutty tip of the hat to her Grandpa Robert who put up one helluva fight and is “probably causing chaos upstairs”.

Happy Birthday Mrs Beckham

April 17, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 17, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Married to that piece of hotness? Every day is her birthday. But what would a Posh birthday be without shopping? In Paris no less? Here they are, the Beckhams, colour and coif coordinated per usual, fighting off those smutty reports that they’ve grown apart due to her frequent jaunts to America. Full Story

Little Children DVD Exclusive Giveaway!!!

April 17, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 17, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I cannot tell you how f&cking brilliant this movie is. The kind of movie that stays with you and bothers you for days. I LOVED Little Children. I loved Kate Winslet in Little Children. She is complicated and conflicted and not all that likeable but very likeable and believable and … there are no words. Full Story

RoboBride: summoned home for dinner!

April 17, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 17, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Quick non? Katie was in Shreveport to begin shooting Mad Money. All of a sudden last night, she’s back in LA out for dinner with her husband and well…it’s really not hard to figure out why. Looks like someone wanted to show off his new … makeover??? The Gay Midget Dwarf – something about his face…there’s been an adjustment, don’t you think? As in the kind of adjustment that can take away 15 years? Every Queen needs a touch-up, y’all. Full Story

On Madge, on marriage, on Malawi, and moustaches

April 17, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 17, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Madge, Lola, and little David Banda in Malawi today. A meeting with David’s biological father was expected to take place, though journalists were blocked from coverage which is why at press time (11am PST) no confirmation has been released. As for growing gossip that all is not well between Madonna and Guy Ritchie, that he was supposed to travel with her to Malawi, that they fought and he refused to follow – as I reported last week, he is working on a tv show for ABC. Full Story

What’s in it for John: Tits & Ass

April 17, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 17, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not that you didn’t already know but if you take a look at the double handful he gets to goose, in addition to a side order of fellatio courtesy of those Restylane-lips, it’s not hard to figure out why John Mayer has been shamed by his c*ck.Check out Jessica out on the town last night, Main ‘Mo in tow, squeezing herself into a tarty little outfit to hold herself over while John’s on tour in Toronto. Full Story

Kiki Brings it, Franco too

April 17, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 17, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Wearing black at the Spidey press conference in Japan – the skirt, the simplicity, my Kiki looks divine, non? Here’s Kiki with what looks to be the full cast of Spiderman 3. Sam Raimi and Tobey look related, don’t they? As for James Franco…OK so he needs a nap and a shower. And I’m not sure why his pants are so tight. Full Story