Shelf Ass Needs a Stylist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2007 12:00:00 July 13, 2007 12:00:00

Or a new one. Or maybe it’s just her. It’s the curse of the B List, you know? No matter how clever the publicist and how famous the Pipsqueak boyfriend, Jessica Biel is simply a Shelf Ass and a tv girl. And tv girls can’t own the carpet. Last night at the premiere of Chuck & Larry… Jessica wearing something Jennifer Love Hewitt would wear and trying to suppress her ManTran. Full Story

Beckham Landing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2007 12:00:00 July 13, 2007 12:00:00

Clusterf*ck at LAX last night as the Beckhams landed. Fans, photographers, people screaming their balls off… was told it was quite the scene and even the Beckhams themselves seemed taken aback which in itself is a surprise. They flew commercial, they pretty much announced their travel plans, they sent the boys to be taken away first, and then made a slow walk themselves to the car, making sure there was enough time for the paps to cover their arrival… not exactly subtle. Full Story

View All 10 Photos
Thursday, July 12, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Just in from the red-eye, am in Toronto for a week to host a party for Bacardi Breezer at This is London on Saturday night. More on that later.

Forced to endure my mother again for at least a few days. Right now I can hear her chewing in the kitchen. Am convinced it’s a Chinese thing: for anyone raised in Hong Kong it appears to be a cultural inability to eat with their mouths closed. Have tried to tell her time and again it’s ironically “low classy” of her and I did the same today. She told me it was low classy to criticise one’s mother and then remarked that I’m not aging as well as she did, blaming it on my father’s genes.

A week of this feels interminable so forgive the extra crusty column?

Thursday, live blogging, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Defined by Men

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2007 12:00:00 July 12, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Simpson with Harley Pasternak > Jessica Simpson with Ken Paves. But still… no matter how much better she looks lately, Jessica Simpson will never be my kind of girl. The kind of girl girl"s girls can relate to. Because while she may be a girly girl, she is also a boy"s girl. A girl who lives for a boy, a girl who is validated through a boy. Full Story

Bacardi Party – Saturday Night!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2007 12:00:00 July 12, 2007 12:00:00

The Bacardi Breezer Fashion Series hits Toronto this weekend…and I am hosting! Where: This is London, 364 Richmond St W, Toronto When: Doors Open at 10am What: Fashion Show featuring Rock & Republic, Citizens of Humanity, Seven for All Mankind, Dom Rebel, and Lady Dutch is launching its new fall lineup. Full Story

The Next

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2007 12:00:00 July 12, 2007 12:00:00

This is Ali Lohan, sister to Lindsay, youngest daughter of Dina, looking lovely in a magazine called Hairstyle Guide. Lovely…and OLD. This child is 13!!! Does she look 13 to you??? Pretty much sums up the Lohan problem, doesn’t it? Fresh outta diapers and Dina thinks they’re good to go. Full Story

Britney and Ben Damon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2007 12:00:00 July 12, 2007 12:00:00

She hates her mother, hates her father, hates her ex manager, hates her ex husband, and apparently now hates her cousin and constant companion Allie, who after shadowing Britney from the moment she left Promises, is now suddenly absent, replaced by the bodyguard boyfriend with the under-evolved physique and the hard-to-miss ears. Full Story

Bred for Hypocrisy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2007 12:00:00 July 12, 2007 12:00:00

How they raise "em in Hollywood. We can debate til we’re blue in the face about paparazzi intrusion and privacy but trust me when I tell you, the paps don’t get “lucky” every day and show up miraculously to find a celebrity leaving the gym/walking her dog/shopping for groceries/playing with her kids in the park. Full Story

The Beckhams En Route

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2007 12:00:00 July 12, 2007 12:00:00

As reported in yesterday’s column, after her silent admission that David did indeed goose Rebecca Loos and that she chose to tough through it, am now more convinced that ever that Posh will never let him go. The Beckhams are for life, perhaps not out of passion but certainly out of pragmatism. Full Story

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Dear Gossips,

OK Potter fans…you were at the midnight showing, right? It was brilliant, non?

No doubt Potter will win the box office this weekend, although there’s a revolting man in drag who will take on JK Rowling a week later. Harry or Hairspray? My money on Magic.

As for Nicole Richie…not expected in court today although her lawyer is supposedly considering a plea bargain from the DA which could mean no jailtime. Drugged and driving on the wrong side of a freeway and free as a bird.

Weak.

Wednesday – am travelling tonight, prepping for the trip so blogging on the fly. Check back throughout the day.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey