Slap the Itch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 07:24:47 February 28, 2008 07:24:47

No one else is picking my ass right now quite like Miley Cyrus. It’s official. I can’t bear her. She was on Leno last night and it’s everything. It’s the 25 year old voice coming out of a 15 year old. Does this look 15??? It’s the condescending way she says Thaaaaank You. Full Story

Winona in Paris

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 06:48:34 February 28, 2008 06:48:34

My all time from times past slowly inching her way back – here’s Winona Ryder at the Valentino show today in Paris for fashion week She was 18 when she met Johnny. And it was 17 years ago. 17 years! Arguably the first modern supercouple – some say it was their loved that kicked off a tabloid paparazzi frenzy that became the predecessor of Brad and Gwyneth, Brad and Jennifer, Bennifer, and of course Brad and Angelina. Full Story

Everyone hates Dirty Face and Coke Bloat

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 06:13:04 February 28, 2008 06:13:04

Lindsay Lohan was photographed heading to an AA meeting yesterday. Supposedly heading to an AA meeting. Then last night she showed up at Villa – obviously the best place for a recovering addict. As you can see, Dirty Face is now dragging around some bloat. SO attractive. And the perfect role model for her little sister Ali who made no apologies in Teen Vogue recently about her own quest for fame, laying it out straight up: she wants to be like her sister…which means it’s now a proper race. Full Story

Philanthropy or Strategery?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 05:26:30 February 28, 2008 05:26:30

So Jessica Simpson wrote on her site yesterday that she’s heading to Kuwait to perform for the troops. Somehow the paps immediately found her at the airport. Jess of course is providing a much needed boost to the morale of those stationed overseas – her vocal gymnastics is surely what they need to chill out, take their minds off fighting and warring for a change. Full Story

Genetic Freak

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 04:59:55 February 28, 2008 04:59:55

Elle Macpherson turns 45 in a month. 45!!! Most models are genetic freaks. Elle’s freaky sh*t is freakier than most. Bitch bakes herself in the sun half the year, has already had two kids, parties non stop with the Euro jetset, and still looks like this. Hate. Love. Check her out at some fundraising gala last night in London wearing a hot outfit only she could make work with a face still as beguiling and as beautiful as ever. Full Story

Mimi Looks Tiny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 04:40:46 February 28, 2008 04:40:46

Mimi is heavily promoting her new album and wants you to touch her new skinny body. Literally. She looks good, non? Do you like her new single? Mimi hit up TRL yesterday wearing all slimming black, showing off a very small waist and an even smaller ass encased in a pair of leather pants size… 0 but really 4? One of my favourite gossip items ever! Remember when it came out that Mariah had her assistants change the sizing on her clothes so that a 6 became a 2 and then she’d walk around telling everyone in interviews that people are always shocked to find out how little she “really” is? Do you love it, or do you LOVE it? Am happy she’s back. Full Story

The GMD Double Date

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 04:28:21 February 28, 2008 04:28:21

Bet you Tom Cruise had Wednesday circled on his calendar all week long: dinner with Will & Jada, the highlight of the month. Can you picture him hustling poor Katie, dazed and glassy eyed, out the door? But really…who can blame him? F*ck Will Smith is hot. Love the way he holds his body, even in the car. Full Story

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February 28, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 28, 2008 04:23:23 February 28, 2008 04:23:23

Happy Birthday to Amy in Cambridge, MA from Nicole in Durham, NC who can’t wait to see you this weekend. To Chris in Chicago – Happy 41st! Hope you had a lovely day with the kids Elise and Livs. To Claire & Ben who welcomed Alexandra on February 15th – congratulations and thank you too! For being “the coolest couple ever” according to Sydney and for supporting my smut for so long. Full Story

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Is there a course you can take for sleeping elegantly on a plane? No matter how cute the travel outfit, it doesn’t make a difference when you’re tired and flying. I was givin’er yesterday on my flight back to Vancouver. Like head back, open-mouth drools, and even some twitching, passed out so intensely that when I came to at the end, the flight attendant welcomed me back from the brink.

Am thankful Colin Farrell wasn’t on my flight.

He is however in Vancouver. Arrived yesterday to begin shooting Dr Parnassus. Was at the Roosevelt pool the other night while we were there having dinner. Details to follow today and also about Ben Affleck’s absence at the Oscars.

Back in Vancouver on regular blog schedule for the rest of the week. Am headed to Montreal tonight to host the final “Evening of Hot Experiences” party sponsored by Secret. Hope to see you there?

Wednesday – all day posting, check back often.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Yes, am wearing leggings on Oscar night under my dress. Tanya was actually wearing yoga pants under hers. It was drafty up there on the balcony and we were only shot from the waist up anyway. Wish I could tell you I’m one of those twats who’ll freeze for the sake of fashion but that night we wanted to be warm. Forgive?

PPS. Diva bitch at the photo shoot is not Katherine Heigl, not Jennifer Lopez, not Madonna.

PPPS. Eva Longoria is not arguing about her eggs in public.

Ziggy Stardust Stamp of Approval

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2008 12:02:49 February 27, 2008 12:02:49

The news of Scarlett Johansson’s musical aspirations was initially met with much scorn. Another actress trying to be a singer…not exactly the best track record. Now comes word that David Bowie contributed, literally, a few “oohs and ahhs” on Scarjo’s album and Bowie himself has written that Scarjo’s upcoming Tom Waits cover is “really, really good…and Scarlett’s performances are mystical and twice cool. Full Story

The Second Coming in Texas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 27, 2008 11:07:32 February 27, 2008 11:07:32

Sean Penn and Heath Ledger were supposed to co-star in Terence Malick’s new feature Tree of Life. Brad Pitt has now stepped into the vacated role and shooting will start in Austin Texas like right now which isn"t the best timing. SXSW will kick off in 2 weeks - major paparazzi presence to begin with. Full Story