Textbook Swoon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 07:46:19 August 28, 2007 07:46:19

He doesn’t do it for me but some crazy bitch always sends me hate mail whenever I rag on his pansy ass so he must do it for someone. And I suppose, in a theatrical, the-cameras-are-rolling romantic comedy kind of way, Jude Law has a certain flavour …if that’s your thing. Check it out – he’s now being linked to a German model called Susan Hoecke. Full Story

Douche-free?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2007 00:00:00 August 28, 2007 00:00:00

Two biggest knocks against Elisha Cuthbert: that she is friends with that disease Paris Hilton and that she’s been dating that loser ass Sean Avery. Sean Avery is a hockey player, the kind of guy born with a “beat me” face and a matching prick attitude – constantly smirking, too good to have manners, a dude you’d imagine who’d will lose his sh-t if his girl so much as said thank you to another man for picking up her napkin… you know the type. Full Story

Monday, August 27, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Sad smut or a cover up? Owen Wilson situation analysis below.

Britney’s fine parenting on display yet again and a Linebacker Tranny returns to LA. Jessica Simpson is reasserting herself onto the scene. The photos are delightful.

Monday, live blogging all day. Check back often for updates.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. The God of Animals book review en route tomorrow. Current obsession: The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids by Alexandra Robbins – non fiction that reads like fiction and if you love teens, you will LOVE The Overachievers.

The Cuss Master

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 00:00:00 August 27, 2007 00:00:00

By no means an original thought, and probably not what we should teach our children but still… if Samuel L Jackson was presiding over a Master Class in Cussing, I’d be there in a minute. I still laugh every time I think of his “foot massage” exchange with John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. Full Story

Rossum Makes a Video!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 13:00:08 August 27, 2007 13:00:08

Cheese Rossum music deserves a cheese Rossum video. So of course Emmy had to put her songs to film, applying nauseating facial expressions to go along with her nauseating lyrics and nauseating “opera” enunciation and delivery:Slow me downDon’t let love pass me by, justShow me how ‘cause I’m ready to fall These photos certainly do the words justice, non? Here’s Emmy on her video shoot the other day, emoting Rossumly in a red dress and angel curls. Full Story

Saving the Boo Boos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 12:32:06 August 27, 2007 12:32:06

Courtroom drama today involving Britney’s boys. Her attorney and KFed’s attorney have been summoned in response to a reported investigation being conducted by Children and Family Services. In question, not surprisingly, is Britney’s ability to properly parent her babies. Just the other day, Britney’s parents were conveniently photographed in Federline’s neighbourhood babysitting SPF and JJ while their loser father is off shooting One Tree Hill in North Carolina. Full Story

Gisele? Really?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 10:06:05 August 27, 2007 10:06:05

I don’t watch it and I don’t get it. But many of you do. Dancing with the Stars…somehow it’s still on the air. And thriving. And the new season is about to begin. ABC will reveal the new crop of “celebrity” dancers on Wednesday but TMZ has the early word – most are below B List trying to stay relevant. Full Story

The Generous Girlfriend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 09:51:49 August 27, 2007 09:51:49

Kate Hudson, who once told a pap to f&ck off during her morning run, gave it up good for photographers in Malibu Saturday as she and Dax Shepard appeared to delight in each other’s company in the produce department at a grocery store. Dax of course is making the transition from Punk’d sidekick to bonafide silver screen actor. Full Story

Overpeeled, Underfed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 00:00:00 August 27, 2007 00:00:00

Renee Zellweger at a concert this weekend, body fat as low as ever, and skin seemingly so scrubbed and so raw, it’s a wonder she can smile without pain. Or maybe that is pain. Maybe she is grimacing through her pain. Is 20 pounds and a good foundation seriously worse than this? source Full Story

Alba Ages

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 08:10:51 August 27, 2007 08:10:51

Not saying she looks old like “rough” old or like Lilo old... just saying she looks old like Katie Holmes old. Check it out – the Alba Bitch at Teen Choice last night in a lovely yellow dress and the worst highlights ever. It’s the highlights that are aging her, I think. The colour is 40 and drives a minivan – perfect for a 40 year old driving a minivan, not so much for a 26 year old sometimes referred to as the sexiest woman alive… I’m just sayin’. Full Story

Better Body, Terrible Mother

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 07:50:32 August 27, 2007 07:50:32

Britney was pulled over for speeding this weekend while driving to Vegas. Amazingly enough, she wasn’t drunk driving. Even more amazing… her outfit. It’s a new classic. Still…the outfit I can handle. It’s the fingernail biting that grosses me out. I realise it’s a habit, that many people can’t help it. Full Story

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