Princess MiniVan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 06:58:05 January 8, 2008 06:58:05

It’s only the beginning. Katherine Heigl’s 27 Dresses, a film that has MiniVan Majority written all over it, has apparently tested so well with chicks the studio moved it back a week to take on Mad Money. Word is, the newlywed Katie Heigl will trump Katie Holmes, solidifying her movie career and ensuring she’ll be around making “Shopaholic”-type drivel for a very, very long time. Full Story

George No Sarah

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 06:40:17 January 8, 2008 06:40:17

George Clooney arrived solo at Critics’ Choice last night which was surprising considering he’s been trotting that Sarah Larsen out everywhere these days. Given that she was a cocktail waitress and a Vegas hired party girl before he plucked her, I can’t imagine she would have had anything better to do … so maybe he wanted it to be a night out with the boys? He and Don Cheadle were spotted “inside joke”-ing each other all night. Full Story

Robobride: Beautiful, Thin, Old

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 06:24:29 January 8, 2008 06:24:29

On promo for Mad Money and allowed out on her own, Katie Holmes presented at Critics’ Choice last night. LOVE the dress. She’s a beautiful girl, non? But there are problems. The hair is a problem. Perhaps if it wasn’t so wispy, perhaps if it wasn’t so… Sally Field. Compare and contrast – totally Sally Field, see? Which means too old! Sally Field is fantastic. Full Story

Pitt Porn 2008

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 00:00:00 January 8, 2008 00:00:00

It’s been too long, I’ve missed it so much… have you? Praise Xenu – Pitt Porn made a raging return last night at the Critics’ Choice Award as Brad and Angelina were affectionate on the carpet and total hotness inside. Actually… total hotness outside too. Total hotness everywhere! Check out the photos – not feeling Angie’s curlers but still…with that face, does it matter? She is stunning. Full Story

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What Happened Last Night

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 00:00:00 January 8, 2008 00:00:00

So Britney returned from a romantic weekend getaway with Adnan, her paparazzo boyfriend. According to my sources, aside from flattery and the obvious gratification, she was using Adnan to get back at Sam Lutfi because Sam urged her to get help last week. Sam on the other hand is said to be incensed to be usurped by someone new and is trying to undermine Adnan by colluding with KFed who, I’m told, wants nothing to do with him. Full Story

What Happened Last Thursday

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 00:00:00 January 8, 2008 00:00:00

Exclusive details about what happened last Thursday when all that sh*t went down at Britney’s house. As you know, she showed up late for her deposition. After her deposition was a scheduled visit with the kids. My sources say she spent much of the time trying on clothes and playing with her hair “for an outing she was pretty excited about” in front of the children. Full Story

Chicken Fried Mother Daughter Photo Op

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 00:00:00 January 8, 2008 00:00:00

While Britney was losing her sh*t last week, Lynne Spears was back in Louisiana engineering Jamie Lynn’s first pregnancy “candids”. And Mama thought of every detail. Because Mama is on the defensive. Ever since Jamie Lynn’s baby bombshell, Lynne’s mothering has been critically attacked. Full Story

Monday, January 7, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Britney, unbelievably, is on the loose but there is some good news: looks like Morton’s GMD exposé isn’t all that whitewashed after all! More on that later.

And my poor Rumey! The Golden Globes look kyboshed which means her golden moment has turned to piss. And to think she’s been practising her angles for so, so long. She must be gutted. Me too.

To those of you who’ve asked about my interview with Taylor Kitsch - eTalk actually aired it two days earlier than planned last Wednesday and a longer version on MTV e2 after that. However, they’ve just posted it in its entirety – all 30 minutes without editing! – on Broadband. Click here to watch me attempt professionalism in the face of molten quivering hotness. We are wearing the same outfit. Hee.

Monday, am blogging all day. Check back often!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Happy Birthday Kirsten! He’s a tool. And it’s a good start to a new year without him! Wishing you the best day ever.

PPS. Congratulations to Krista Q on the Christmas engagement!

Granny Freeze is Fertile… Finally!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2008 16:35:48 January 7, 2008 16:35:48

After denying it last week, Nicole Kidman’s publicist has confirmed – Granny Freeze IS indeed fertile! And Keith Urban has successfully fulfilled yet another clause in his contract. Well done mate! This is beautiful news on many fronts. Benefits of Granny Freeze’s Fertility:1. finally it puts to rest that ridiculous Urban Legend, the one so many of you have emailed about – the one about your uncle who knows a doctor who went to a medical conference where they presented on hermaphrodites citing Granny as an example. Full Story

Simpsons Holiday: Distraction or Relaxation?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2008 00:00:00 January 7, 2008 00:00:00

Jessica Simpson and pervy Papa Pimp Joe Simpson and her mother and her friends took Tony Romo to Cabo this weekend for a little R&R. Apparently Jess and Tony were seen rubbing each other’s asses, very affectionate with each other and very friendly with her parents. Ew. They also enjoyed the services of a personal chef. Full Story

Drew in Palm Springs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2008 12:28:55 January 7, 2008 12:28:55

Drew Barrymore presented on stage at the Palm Springs Film Festival looking gorgeous in an awkward length dress. Drew has been loving it up on holiday with Justin Long since wrapping Grey Gardens in Toronto where she spent an equal amount of time loving it up with him at local watering holes and loving it up with new old friends at private swanky parties. Full Story