Monday, March 5, 2007
Dear Gossips, I"ve had a headache all weekend, I think it"s because I"m dehydrated and not sleeping for 3 days straight during Oscar week has really taken its toll. So last night I asked my husband during the hockey game if he could take me to the hospital. He looked at me and told me to go jump up my own ass. Then I drank some water but I still felt really exhausted, so I scooped up my dog Marcus and we went to bed for 13 hours, woke up today still groggy but much better which means I must be one of the lucky ones. Because celebrities like Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan apparently have no access to fluids and a warm bed. Tragic, non? Even more tragic - the fact that good taste continues to go down the sh-tter. Wild Hogs #1 at the box office??? Amazing what a motorcycle and a pair of leather pants can do to cover up a gay Fraud. Hollywood Voldemort alive and kicking, the Flying Star and his massage-loving c*ckstands wreaking havoc without consequence - The Church is more powerful than ever...chills, chills, chills. Monday - real time blogging, check back often for new posts, scroll down for late posts on Friday you may have missed, including the Bambi Bangle Giveaway from Kiss & Makeup - deadline is today at noon my time. Yours in gossip, Lainey

The Perfect Pitts

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

OK so whatever Brad’s doing to look so freakin’ hot again these days…keep at it, honey. Sure there are the haters but seriously… how easy is it to look at this couple? This family? LOVE Zahara. Girl is always eating! And the Chosen One? That shape of that mouth is divinity. As for the matching parental hotness outfits? Love, love, love. Full Story

Sharon Stone: the tree and the highlighter

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I don’t even know what to say about this. What CAN you say about this? The shirt. On its own the shirt would be… OK. Perhaps with a pair of plain jeans that don’t have love and peace and two black pocket patches, the shirt wouldn’t be so offensive. But what’s with the highlighter dangling from the hook? Or is it Mace? Or a flashlight? And if so, if she was really that concerned about personal safety, why is she wearing a tree shirt that’s begging to be noticed? Bitch scares me. Full Story

The Daily Runneth Over: Salma Hayek

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

X17 Hello nap time! Look at them! Look. At. Them! I love her. I love them. I don’t turn that way but man…at the risk of sounding crass… I totally would.  Full Story

Sarah Michelle Gellar: the bump analysis

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So she wore this loose fitting dress to an event last week. And now bikini shots of her in Mexico have turned up along with what some people are calling a bump but not from every angle. From other angles…not much. Needless to say, the smutty universe is now rife with speculation: is there a Freddie Prinze Jr Jr on the way? Since I don’t have intimate knowledge of her uterus, I can’t say for sure. Full Story

Kiki in a bikini

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Used to hate her, now I"ve learned to love her bitch. Does she have the most attractive body? Clearly…no. Tits are too saggy for a young lass, not a lot of shape, certainly not the finest ass I’ve ever seen but I’m not going to slag her for being pale. Pale is better than the colour of Paris Hilton, pale is a hella better than skin cancer, and the best part about Kiki actually is that she’s not perfect. Full Story

Jake G: real life breast play

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Love this story. So Anne Hathaway gave an interview recently about love scenes, comparing her experience working with James McAvoy in Becoming Jane to that with Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain. With James it was like closed mouth only, as realistic as it gets without intimate knowledge of tongue and tonsils. Full Story

Nicole & Keith: Happy on Vacay, captured on film

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Amazing isn’t it? Every time these two go on holiday, somehow the pappies find out where. Even their honeymoon and now in St Barts. Coincidence or conspiracy or the continuation of a tumultuous contract? Whatever it is, they’re workin’ it. And if it wasn’t for the rumblings coming out of Nashville and the amusement that ensued following her dominating interview with Russell Crowe during the Oprah Oscar special, I’d almost be inclined to believe. Full Story

Another Daily Crusty: Joaquin Phoenix

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So, like, I totally get it that Joaquin doesn’t want to be a “celebrity”. He’s an ACTOR, he’s an ARTISTE, he’s a CRAFTSMAN…I get it. But here’s the thing – if you’re all about being anti Hollywood, then stay the f&ck away from Hollywood functions. And if you absolutely have to attend a Hollywood function, bite your tongue, grin and bear it, and after completing the requisite lap around the room, go back to your own little arty hole and compose a haiku about depression in the privacy of your own house, instead of losing your on a well-meaning photographer who made the gross mistake of touching your shoulder. Full Story

The Daily Crusty: Chris Martin

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Um…like…easy there Mr Gwyneth. Bono you are not. Yet. Perhaps ever. So I like Coldplay. More than like. You could say that once upon a time I loved Coldplay. Have all their CDs, DVDs, know all the words to their songs, seen them in concert 3 times…big fan. Until the last album X + Y. Was the strangest thing – it was great at first. Full Story

Little Sci: on the heels of the Chosen One

March 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at March 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Probably coincidence right? Check out Little Sci and her parents on Sunday on their way to a basketball game. Normally kept super undercover but just days after The Chosen One’s public outing with Daddy Brad, the Cruises are following suit. But enough conspiracy mongering – let’s focus instead on the following observations, shall we? - Katie’s sweater: love it. Full Story