Porn in a Suit

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2007 07:45:28 August 17, 2007 07:45:28

Becks en route with the club to NYC. I mean look at the cut of that suit. Look how well he rocks the tapered trouser. And the shoes too. Compare it all to his teammate beside him. Compare the square toe to the pointed toe. My husband is a style loser – he refuses to go to the point. But as every gay man knows, as decreed by Tom Ford, the point is the only way to wear it right now. Full Story

Polka Dot Pansy at the Beach

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2007 07:35:32 August 17, 2007 07:35:32

Jude Law in Cornwall on holiday with his children frolicking on the beach and even though his polka tie neck tie isn’t making an appearance, it might as well be tied around his waist. I don’t care how hard he tries to grow that fur on his chest and pump up his arms, after that brief quiverational direction change in Cannes Full Story

Jen’s new old role

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2007 07:22:55 August 17, 2007 07:22:55

It’s been ages but Jennifer Aniston has finally confirmed a new film project. And it’s a total departure from what she’s ever done before. Jen is starring in the film version of He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a romantic comedy. She will look cute and pine for a man who doesn’t pine back only to find unlikely love later. Full Story

Amy Winehouse: Love addict, drug addict

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2007 07:11:31 August 17, 2007 07:11:31

Both she and Blake spoke to the press yesterday downplaying reports of her overdose and addiction. All addicts are liars. Having said that, today at least, she seems to be back in rehab, although that piece of sh-t she’s married to keeps insisting it’s a “retreat”, making it sound as if recovery is a 2 week holiday. Full Story

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Finally saw Bourne Ultimatum last night and rather enjoyed it though was most intrigued by the trailers. Not even end of August and already, Oscar season heavy hitters are starting to promo, including the highly anticipated American Gangster starring Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, directed by Ridley Scott, and produced by Brian Grazer going head to head against Lions for Lambs in November.

Lions for Lambs is of course a United Artists production – the GMD’s new studio – with Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, and Tom Cruise as a crafty bloated senator who will to do whatever it takes to “sell a message” and coerce others around him to do the same.

Maybe he’ll finally win an Oscar for playing his gay self?

And mixed in with the prestige releases was the clip for some thriller called Death Sentence. Couldn’t be bothered to tell you the plot, all you need to know is Kevin Bacon runs around in a pair of tight jeans and a leather jacket with his head shaved shooting bad guys and protecting his family. Serious quiveration.

Thursday, all day blog, check often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

The Scent of Beckham Porn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 13:27:19 August 16, 2007 13:27:19

My favourite porn after Pitt Porn. Or maybe even better than Pitt Porn…because it’s more readily available. No matter. The point is I love when David touches Victoria. I love believing naively that he wants her. I loved their dirty contrived spread in W Magazine and I love, love, love this new ad for Intimately Beckham – the couple’s signature fragrance. Full Story

Write Him Off

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 00:00:00 August 16, 2007 00:00:00

Last week’s beach excursion with Hollywood Ebola could have been explained away as work for his documentary. I guess. Since then though Adrian Grenier has been out with Paris Hilton two more times, including last night at some Art Gallery opening. Full Story

The Exception

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 00:00:00 August 16, 2007 00:00:00

As it goes with any theory, there are always exceptions. When it comes to my Celebrity Baby Theory, Cindy Crawford’s children obviously don’t apply. The Celebrity Baby Theory is as follows: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars (SJP) + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace Cindy Crawford is indisputably gorgeous. Full Story

They get bigger???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 12:04:29 August 16, 2007 12:04:29

Can you imagine? When the milk comes in, they’re supposed to get bigger! Over the last 3 years, at least one of my friends has been pregnant at any given time. Now I might not know about the pushing but I do know about the crazy tit growing afterwards and from the looks of it, Salma Hayek will need a trolly to transport them both. Full Story

Simmons for Mayer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 11:49:22 August 16, 2007 11:49:22

Since John Mayer will now be performing on cruise ships, Richard Simmons and his fan club might be inclined to hop on board and sing along. That outfit is perfect for the Leedo Deck. source  Full Story

Made in China

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 09:07:32 August 16, 2007 09:07:32

Beyonce’s tour arrived inToronto last night and she also attended a party for the launch of her clothing line with her mother and sister. As you can see, all three appeared to model items from the House of De sh-t. You ever been to a Chinese mall? You ever hit up the clothing shoppes? Low quality dresses and tops at great prices but with a thread unravelling here and a button loose there, hems haphazardly sewn and material that practically disintegrates as soon as you walk out of the store… and now Beyonce’s mother is selling it at designer cost: Made in China but priced like Prada… Bitch…please! Next to a Tina Knowles creation, even a pair of Louboutins looks the wrong shade of gold. Full Story