Thursday, August 16, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Finally saw Bourne Ultimatum last night and rather enjoyed it though was most intrigued by the trailers. Not even end of August and already, Oscar season heavy hitters are starting to promo, including the highly anticipated American Gangster starring Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, directed by Ridley Scott, and produced by Brian Grazer going head to head against Lions for Lambs in November.

Lions for Lambs is of course a United Artists production – the GMD’s new studio – with Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, and Tom Cruise as a crafty bloated senator who will to do whatever it takes to “sell a message” and coerce others around him to do the same.

Maybe he’ll finally win an Oscar for playing his gay self?

And mixed in with the prestige releases was the clip for some thriller called Death Sentence. Couldn’t be bothered to tell you the plot, all you need to know is Kevin Bacon runs around in a pair of tight jeans and a leather jacket with his head shaved shooting bad guys and protecting his family. Serious quiveration.

Thursday, all day blog, check often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

The Scent of Beckham Porn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 13:27:19 August 16, 2007 13:27:19

My favourite porn after Pitt Porn. Or maybe even better than Pitt Porn…because it’s more readily available. No matter. The point is I love when David touches Victoria. I love believing naively that he wants her. I loved their dirty contrived spread in W Magazine and I love, love, love this new ad for Intimately Beckham – the couple’s signature fragrance. Full Story

Write Him Off

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 00:00:00 August 16, 2007 00:00:00

Last week’s beach excursion with Hollywood Ebola could have been explained away as work for his documentary. I guess. Since then though Adrian Grenier has been out with Paris Hilton two more times, including last night at some Art Gallery opening. Full Story

The Exception

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 00:00:00 August 16, 2007 00:00:00

As it goes with any theory, there are always exceptions. When it comes to my Celebrity Baby Theory, Cindy Crawford’s children obviously don’t apply. The Celebrity Baby Theory is as follows: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars (SJP) + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace Cindy Crawford is indisputably gorgeous. Full Story

They get bigger???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 12:04:29 August 16, 2007 12:04:29

Can you imagine? When the milk comes in, they’re supposed to get bigger! Over the last 3 years, at least one of my friends has been pregnant at any given time. Now I might not know about the pushing but I do know about the crazy tit growing afterwards and from the looks of it, Salma Hayek will need a trolly to transport them both. Full Story

Simmons for Mayer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 11:49:22 August 16, 2007 11:49:22

Since John Mayer will now be performing on cruise ships, Richard Simmons and his fan club might be inclined to hop on board and sing along. That outfit is perfect for the Leedo Deck. source  Full Story

Made in China

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 09:07:32 August 16, 2007 09:07:32

Beyonce’s tour arrived inToronto last night and she also attended a party for the launch of her clothing line with her mother and sister. As you can see, all three appeared to model items from the House of De sh-t. You ever been to a Chinese mall? You ever hit up the clothing shoppes? Low quality dresses and tops at great prices but with a thread unravelling here and a button loose there, hems haphazardly sewn and material that practically disintegrates as soon as you walk out of the store… and now Beyonce’s mother is selling it at designer cost: Made in China but priced like Prada… Bitch…please! Next to a Tina Knowles creation, even a pair of Louboutins looks the wrong shade of gold. Full Story

Pending Proposal?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 08:49:21 August 16, 2007 08:49:21

Lame. Good Charlotte appeared on Regis and Kelly this morning and Regis asked Joel about a “little ring” and Joel was all like – um…whatever…um – uncomfortable and said he was hoping to keep it quiet which only means he never intended to keep it quiet and now we all know: Joel Madden bought a ring. Full Story

Loser Magnet

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 00:00:00 August 16, 2007 00:00:00

The worst… the absolute WORST taste in men. Can Britney attract anything but the golddigging famediggers? Breaking news – last night, Britney was seen holding hands with Mindfreak Criss Angel at the Beverly Hills Hotel. They hit up a suite on the 11th floor. You will recall, Criss went on a handful of dates with Cameron Diaz a couple of months ago and then opportunistically professed his love for her on national television after some kind of death stunt. Full Story

Tongue Out & Stone Faced

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 07:59:04 August 16, 2007 07:59:04

The cutest: David Beckham scored his first with the Galaxy last night and celebrated by running the pitch with his tongue out and arms apart, a move imitated in the family box by Brooklyn who like most boys, clearly hero worships his pop. His mother however prefers to keep her elation, if any, bottled inside. Full Story

Shelf Ass strips for employment

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 16, 2007 07:41:00 August 16, 2007 07:41:00

Jessica Biel is currently shooting a new movie call Powder Blue headlined by Oscar winner Forrest Whittaker – something about the intersecting lives of seemingly unrelated people in LA with a violent twist. Already critics are calling it a Crash copycat. Having said that, Powder Blue is clearly a step up from the garbage she’s worked on of late – Next, Chuck & Larry – and now we know why. Full Story