Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Dear Gossips,

A court appointed parent coach has delivered a scathing early assessment: Britney is lacking as a mother, is constantly distracted, and spends more time changing her clothes than she does paying attention to her babies. This just three days before she and KFed are scheduled to go head to head in front of a judge on Friday.

On the plus side however, as reported the other day, her new album is receiving largely positive reviews – the latest coming from Entertainment Weekly, calling Blackout “a collection of well-produced, thoroughly enjoyable dance songs” that “may just put this once-celebrated pop star back on top”… something she probably prioritises over getting her babies back.

And still there are lyrics like these, on a song called Why Should I Be Sad written for her by Pharrell Williams, sexy beast, that offer a glimpse perhaps into what may have sparked the now year-long spiral into the disaster that’s become her personal life, juxtaposed glaringly against the new promise of her professional life…which is exactly what makes Britney rare and therefore such a heartbreak:

""I sent you to Vegas with a pocket full of paper and with no ultimatums on you/I thought, What could separate us…"But it just seemed that Vegas only brought the playa out of you.""

If only she could sustain some semblance of … not Chicken Fried. If only.

Thanks to all who’ve entered the Gemini Swag giveaway – click here if you haven’t  but please... PLEASE note the correct email address. Otherwise, your entry will not be filed.

New riddle today! Check back often!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

My So-Called Life Exclusive Giveaway!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 00:00:00 October 24, 2007 00:00:00

The show is adored by many, including my friend Du – a television screenwriter – who speaks of it with such reverence I expect her to be shouting down the phone at me in five minutes demanding a copy. My So-Called Life has been called groundbreaking, timeless, without equal…and on October 30th a brand new Collector’s Edition 6 DVD Set will be released including cast interviews, many many extra features, and even a 40 page book of tributes by Janeane Garofalo and Joss Whedon. Full Story

LaineyBooks: How to Talk to a Widower

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 14:57:08 October 24, 2007 14:57:08

Thrilled that many of you are enjoying the book section. Please do keep sending your recommendations. Am honoured to know what you are reading. Thank you, love you, owe you. And when the section is finally live, all past reviews will be posted to the page proper. Until then, this week’s instalment. Full Story

Shelf Ass Suddenly Shy???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 13:41:50 October 24, 2007 13:41:50

Oh please. Coming from a tv girl who would still be living only off of Seventh Heaven residuals if not for the gratuitous pap photos of her ass and clinging fortuitously off of the Justin Pipsqueak, this is hypocrisy at its best. Check out Shelf Ass, coming from or going to a yoga session suddenly unaccommodating to photographers and using an umbrella to hide from being snapped. Full Story

Chicken Fried Reunited

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 13:32:51 October 24, 2007 13:32:51

TMZ is reporting that Britney and KFed are together again – only the third time they’ve been in close quarters since splitting last year. The two are apparently ensconced at some hotel with a coach, court mandated to take lessons together to learn how to parent through divorce. Full Story

Gay Midget Camelot in Berlin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 13:02:58 October 24, 2007 13:02:58

Tom and Katie made a spectacular arrival tonight in Berlin as part of his heavy promotional roadshow in support of Lions for Lambs. That dress, while totally fairy princess, is stunning. And exactly what she’s after. Because let’s not forget, Katie is now being sold as the new queen of scientology Camelot. Full Story

Rossum – would you rather???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 00:00:00 October 24, 2007 00:00:00

Just when you thought it couldn"t possibly get more revolting, Emmy outdoes even her own Rossum. Attempting to pimp her sad excuse for a record Emmy puked her Rossum all over People the other day telling the magazine that she found the inspiration for her music in her own life… and while it’s certainly understandable the pain of having to grow up without a father, it’s the nauseating delivery of her revelation that will bring up at least one of your intestines, if not both. Full Story

Ryan Calls It In

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 00:00:00 October 24, 2007 00:00:00

But first – all this drama about him dropping out of or getting fired from The Lovely Bones. Page Six said it was because he was intolerable to work with, aggravated the hair and makeup people, generally acted like a diva on set. Have not heard anything to confirm or deny the report although there has never been any precedent to suggest that Ryan’s professional comportment is anything like Mike Myers which is, in a word, douchey. Full Story

Tempting Sobriety

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 10:17:18 October 24, 2007 10:17:18

No doubt another deal brokered by her exploitative mother that she apparently can’t back out of. Lindsay Lohan, fresh outta rehab, is supposedly contractually obligated to host a New Year’s Eve bender in Vegas at LAX. Vegas, end of the year – it’ll be total debauchery. And the currently clean and sober Lilo will be right in the thick of it. Full Story

Where To Put It

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 09:59:03 October 24, 2007 09:59:03

Warning – this is dirty and crass and, for some, not very appetising. So if you are the prudish type, prone to huffing and puffing your sanctimony through your nose…stop reading now. Otherwise, save your indignant emails. You’ve been cautioned. He is hot and hirsute and horny, has had a varied career spanning television and big budget Hollywood productions but has preferred of late to stick with indie fare. Full Story

Defending Granny Freeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 24, 2007 08:33:03 October 24, 2007 08:33:03

Poor Nicole Kidman. Since winning Oscar, her last several films have been total commercial failures. She is helping her husband battle substance abuse, not to mention his roving eye, she is struggling to maintain the façade of an arranged marriage, and she is valiantly fighting her 40s, blazing a trail to the plastic surgeon’s any time the hint of a line materialises on her face. Full Story