Inviting Karma Calamity

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2007 00:00:00 June 29, 2007 00:00:00

There is an excuse for everything. And I’ve made them all for Britney. But there is no excuse for legally bitch slapping your mother under no extenuating circumstances. And so, in order to avoid some serious feng shui sh-t laid out on my own Chinese ass… it’s done y’all. It’s done with this chicken-fried moron. Full Story

Four Spices & a Posh

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2007 00:00:00 June 29, 2007 00:00:00

These photos kill me. As announced yesterday, the Spice Girls will reunite and go on tour in December. And without any shame, am not too proud to say that I will so totally be getting tickets. Hopefully for the London show on 15 December! But have a look at the five of them at the photo call – all of them ecstatic, all of them smiling, all of them trying to resurrect what Girl Power stands for…with one glaring exception. Full Story

Liar… please!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2007 00:00:00 June 29, 2007 00:00:00

Hollywood Ebola with Larry King – the most anticlimactic hour long interview, like, ever. Except of course when she tried to fellate him right off the top…that was enjoyable. And then the lies – the lies about drugs, the lies about the Bible. Good for a few chuckles but only just a few. Full Story

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Dear Gossips,

Seem to have caught myself a proper London cold from getting drenched in several sudden downpours stupidly without an umbrella. Am almost British I think. Love it.

Thanks again for your understanding yesterday during a mad rush day in Paris shooting footage for eTalk. I did NOT get to go to Collette. Am hurting.

Still… it was a good day to skip. The day Hollywood Ebola walked free looking flushed and actually rather lovely and definitely not emaciated which brings to mind all those “inside source” reports on TMZ during her incarceration. “She’s not eating, she’s truly suffering, she won’t touch her food”. Something stinks about that situation, non?

Because if you ask me, she looked pretty un-starved in every photo from every angle I saw as she catwalked her way out of the slammer. But then again, as the NY Post printed today, food was being delivered to her straight from the prison guards who for the duration of her stay turned into her snack and beauty bitches, filling her orders and personally delivering her food.

But then again, can you fault her for that? Can you fault her for going back to the tried and true? For putting her legs up and spreading the black hole in exchange for some prison pampering? Good on her for not letting jail time take away her greatest gift. That festering virus sells sex like nobody else…though for this week at least Us Weekly ain’t buying.

Love Janice Min.

A ban on Paris Hilton stories in this week"s magazine citing “Paris fatigue” as the reason, going so far as to say “that in many ways her time with US Weekly has moved on."

Hollywood Ebola no longer good enough for Us Weekly? There is a Goddess.

And Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake is still a farking wanker.

“Do you want me to juggle too???” Said to a child fan who had the temerity – can you imagine!!! – to ask for a photo. Because the heavens conspired to make him a star. Because he is who he is on talent alone. Because his musical gifts have saved the world as we know it. Because all of this entitles him to negate those without whom he’d be nothing.

Right.

And you wonder why I call him an ungrateful little prick whose balls never dropped? Pipsqueak forever. Pipsqueak for always.

Wednesday – again my apologies for yesterday’s lacking column. Will try to make it up to you today with a brand new giveaway. Need new shades?

Blogging from London all day…check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Don"t forget to check out Duana"s guest post from yesterday. Scroll down.

Ray-Ban Exclusive Giveaway!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 27, 2007 00:00:00 June 27, 2007 00:00:00

Travelling is hard on blogging. I appreciate your continued support of the site and can’t tell you enough how grateful I am that you come back every day. As such, to make up for yesterday’s smutlessness, a new giveaway just in time for Summer. Need sunglasses? Old school is back, throwback is back – the Ray-Ban Wayfarers from back in the day, now updated in a variety of colours and apparently the shades of choice this summer for celebrities. Full Story

Bigger sizing, plot thickens…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 27, 2007 00:00:00 June 27, 2007 00:00:00

The question of whether or not Nicole Richie is pregnant. Some insist no. And yet I’ve heard exclusively that there are new whispers from certain people who work with her for her appearances and her wardrobe, who therefore have access to her sizing who’ve been sent back to return items because they aren’t fitting – not because they’re too big, but because they’re actually too small. Full Story

The Magazine Wars: Luring the MiniVan Majority

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 27, 2007 00:00:00 June 27, 2007 00:00:00

Clever clever Janice Min. Likely finding out a couple of days ago that People had scooped them on the Ebola exclusive, Us Weekly is firing back with an issue specifically geared towards People’s subscriber base: The MiniVan Majority. The MiniVan Majority, threatened (and rightly so) by skanks like Paris and charmed and hypnotised by any and all talk of baby, will undoubtedly love this cover. Full Story

No Wonder

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 27, 2007 00:00:00 June 27, 2007 00:00:00

Coincidence or conspiracy? Janice Min declares a ban on Paris Hilton, People Magazine whips out its new cover: an exclusive with Hollywood Ebola complete with photo shoot and interview. So now People Magazine is the prophet for the new Paris Hilton? If you are a subscriber to the magazine, you probably aren’t too impressed, are you? And how changed can one person be if the first priority post-prison is to fix her weave and pose for a photo? Bitch… please. Full Story

Audio Rossum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 27, 2007 00:00:00 June 27, 2007 00:00:00

EXTREME CAUTION. You WILL be nauseous…be warned. Emmy Rossum bringing the Full Rossum to race car driving this past weekend. She sang the national anthem and to be fair, Emmy has a decent voice. Even a good voice. Full Story

Staying Inside

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 27, 2007 00:00:00 June 27, 2007 00:00:00

Lindsay Lohan is staying at Promises – was scheduled to be released next week, has instead agreed to extended care, possibly even missing a chance to celebrate her birthday away from rehab. Shocking, non? And while we’d all love to believe that Lilo is indeed committed to clean living and will emerge from treatment ready to face life without drugs and alcohol, still others tell me exclusively that the prolonged session was allegedly enforced by the studio behind her latest picture co-starring Shirley Maclaine. Full Story

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

We spent most of the day at Mahiki yesterday on a shoot. Sound familiar? Mahiki is the club where the Princes go - William and Harry and their friends. On a few occasions, the two have even been photographed leaving there looking flushed and rather inebriated.

So now perhaps you have a vision in your mind of what it"s like: up to royal standard, swank, chic...

Hella no.

Mahiki is hilarious. Mahiki is tiki. Mahiki is wicker furniture and tacky ass tropical decor and the most ridiculous drinks presented in large ceramics shaped like volcanos and jungle masks with flames coming out the top licking the liquid off the side. 

Hilarious. And even more hilarious the clientele - private school boys all of them. With their pinstiped shirts tucked into low rise jeans and flopsy "Hugh Grant" hairstyles drunk of their own sense of entitlement surrounded by young girls trying to land their very own Eton boy. 

Love it.

Sadly however...Hot Harry didn"t ride up on his horse. Maybe tonight.

It"s Tuesday - a thousand apologies.  We have a shoot booked in Paris, have to hop on Eurostar at 8am local time, working all day with eTalk, then returning to London in the evening.  Will not be able to post.

But just for today. Wednesday will be online all day, blogging all day. At least until the afternoon. First day of Harvey Nic"s sale... you understand.

Besides, that piece of scuzz virus gets out today. I"m thinking it"s the only thing you"ll hear about.

Sorry again. Will be back Wednesday with long, long column. Thank you for your understanding. Please please please forgive.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey