Monday, May 7, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Paris to prison and Lilo drugging caught on tape… both on the same weekend??? The Gossip Goddess is a generous bitch. More on that later…
Bad news: am traveling this week, first to NYC Sunday night on the red eye, then to Edmonton midweek, will be posting on the fly.

Good news: am on assignment with eTalk covering the Costume Institute Gala on Monday night at the Met!!! The Costume Institute Gala is The.Most.Fashionable event of the year, with the frosty Anna Wintour presiding and the incomparable Cate Blanchett co-chairing… seeing Cate living and breathing twice in the same year? I am overcome.

Other expected attendees include: Salma Hayek’s baby daddy which means she could be there clashing with La Lopez and Marc, Kate Hudson, Naomi Watts, my Kiki, John Legend, Liv Tyler, Gisele Bundchen, Scarlett Johansson, Lucy Liu, Julianne Moore (red heaven!), and Lindsay Lohan if she’s brave enough to wipe the coke off her face and show up.

Will have all smutty details for you Monday night.

New articles between flights, check back often for fresh updates.

Yours in gossip,

PS. From my girl Kathy in Florida where Christina Aguilera performed on Saturday night: when bantering with the audience, Xtina promised a great show, promised to sing her heart out, and said she would not "pull a Britney on you!" Hee.

PPS. Lime green and pink – was the Queen’s hat at the Derby delicious or what?

PPPS. Am a bitch of my word. As you can see, there is movement on the Freebie Five. Rocky Delgadillo is the new #1…

Prison Bitch… Please

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

Dragging that dog around only when it’s convenient – as a dog owner, this just might be her most heinous crime yet. I mean really… Really… While shopping, while the pappies are hounding her left right and centre, in the middle of a media sh-tstorm, in the middle of a clothing boutique no less, how much comfort can this hag really be getting from her Tink exactly at this moment? Pray Goddess some bull dyke puts a collar on this bitch behind bars and drags her around like a sex gimp. Full Story

A New Fortress

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

New home for the GMD and his RoboBride. The cost? Only $35 million. Katie’s new prison home is in Beverly Hills, seven bedrooms, nine bath, 1.3 acres, with – of course – a tennis court and a pool. Turns out the Cruise compound up to this point has only been a rental. So now with a more permanent residence with his permanent wife, Tom is said to be anxious to give Little Sci a little sibling. Full Story

Imperfect Perfect

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

Am sitting at Pearson airport with my producer Lara. As she says, it’s all about cutting the jeans into shorts just so…with the pocket sticking out below the hem. Here’s Rachel Bilson with chipped nails and a couple spots and the best mini red Chanel looking perfect imperfect – sometimes non polished is better than flawless, non? Full Story

Marrying Random

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

I like this girl…she is a doll. Have met Brittany Murphy twice, both times she was a doll, if not a little crazy. Especially last year at a Toronto Film Festival afterparty drunk off her tree. Still…she is lovely. Lovely and polite and not Jessica Alba. But she does have an engagement problem. Full Story

It’s Always the Shoes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

Cameron Diaz – always always the best footwear. And the premiere of Shrek The Third was no exception. Pink dress, metallic pumps – love, love, love. She looks divine, non? And well timed too. Because Pip was there and you bet your boob job she wanted it bad. To be breathtaking. To turn heads. Full Story

Man-Purse vs Injections

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

Two men, not so tough call. First - Jared Leto a week ago at the Australia VMAs. As I said at the time, Jared worked the straight iron and appears to have taken over from Kate Bosworth in emaciation. I’m told from Aussie gossips that among all the celebrities in attendance including Nicole Richie, Good Charlotte, and Fergie it was Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars who were the most demanding, the most outrageous divas. Full Story

Tranny & the Pussycats

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

Jessica Simpson in Vegas for the 2nd anniversary of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge. As you can see, Tranny factor is in full effect as is her full blown skank. How else can you describe the expression on her face while seated next to Mario Lopez? Some of you say I’m too harsh on her, that just because she has big tits and shows them off doesn’t mean that she’s asking to spend most of her life with it shoved in her mouth, workin’ on her knees. Full Story

Perennially Pinned Pupils caught on tape

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

Only a matter of time. Lindsay Lohan allegedly caught on videotape snorting cocaine, pulling a baggie out of her pocket and shoving her finger up a friend’s nose before hoovering some for herself. The tape, taken one night a few weeks ago at Teddy’s, has been sold to the News of the World by one of her friends with explicit details about the Lilo lifestyle and drugstyle including a blackbook list of flings and lovers. Full Story

45 Days for Rocky

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

And why not? As I promised last week, if Rocky could secure a jail sentence for Hollywood Ebola, he would sit atop the Freebie Five for a month. But given Paris’s sentence, why not 45 days? That’s how long she’s supposed to be locked up, non? As for whether or not she’s really going to be locked up, many are predicting a very short stay in the slammer, if at all. Full Story

Friday, May 4, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Grey’s Anatomy – the 2 hour special. Never thought I would enjoy watching a hit show unravel so spectacularly but in this case, it’s like the Britney Spears of network television. Just when you don’t think it can get any worse… it actually does! Which is why the reviews have been scathing – according to Entertainment Weekly"s Gregory Kirschling:

I"m trying to think of something pleasant to say about last night"s two-hour Grey"s Anatomy, and...I"m still thinking.

But hey… at least Addison’s wardrobe looks promising, and really - what could be more important than that?

It’s Friday – GO ROCKY! Rocky is the Los Angeles City Attorney who is determined to throw Paris Hilton in the slammer for 45 days. Rocky is my new boyfriend. And Rocky goes to court today. Let’s hope Rocky takes down Hollywood Ebola… temporarily at least.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

PS. Best story ever: Kristi S, longtime reader from Fullerton CA – turns out it’s her grandmother Elsie McLean who has been the much hyped media superstar this week for hitting her first hole-in-one last month at the age of…


Elsie plays golf 3 times a week, bridge on Wednesdays, and still drives herself around town. And she has been invited to appear on Jay Leno tonight and will be cuddling up with Ellen DeGeneres next Tuesday. Y’all must watch. Elsie is a gem!!!