Jen Not Hungry, Jen so Happy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 12:12:53 September 21, 2007 12:12:53

Jennifer Aniston was hard to resist when Friends first started. She had the cutest body and the best hair style and Rachel and Ross, then, didn’t make you want to drill a hole into your head and fill it with rubbing alcohol. And she wasn’t starving. And an attention whore. Yet. But along came Brad and away went the weight. Full Story

Reading Unreliable

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 11:56:22 September 21, 2007 11:56:22

My Gaydar isn’t working on this one, how ‘bout yours? Natalie Portman and Nathan Bogle, her new “boyfriend” holding hands yesterday in NYC. Nathan is hot. And was a model. And is now a fashion designer. Clear cut formula for homo but still… I can’t decide. Maybe it’s because they just look so great together. Full Story

Too Much Dress

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 00:00:00 September 21, 2007 00:00:00

Some girls are “big dress” girls. Cate Blanchett is a big dress girl. The dress will never wear her. Kate Beckinsale on the other hand is getting straight up owned by this dress, as seen last night at the Chanel and PS Arts party. And the poor thing looks totally stressed out by it too. Of course Chris Klein isn’t helping either. Full Story

Stupid but not Sad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 09:26:31 September 21, 2007 09:26:31

Yet. Sad Smut is a personal, arbitrary line. Britney is indeed coming close but it’s moves like these that prevent the pity, that block any sympathy she might have elicited. I would feel sorry for her if she was at home, alone, asking for help but not receiving assistance. I would feel sorry for her if she wasn’t scheming still, scheming for her place, scheming for glory, scheming for whatever it is that will make her whole. Full Story

How Many Times?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 09:00:55 September 21, 2007 09:00:55

How many times has Emmy Rossum worn this dress? Or a variation of it? With the hair. And the doe eyes. And the “pick me! Pick me! Love me! Love me!” smile? Here’s Emmy at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood party in LA last night still trying to drum up interest in her singing career. In case you haven’t had the displeasure, she has a myspace page with samples of her Rossum music. Full Story

Rubbing Off Orange

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 08:49:34 September 21, 2007 08:49:34

He cut her loose but it looks like Jessica Simpson left something behind… her cheese and her orange fake tan. Check out John Mayer last night at the VH1 Save the Music gala last night. Performing on cruise ships, now happily rockin’ the foundation, more and more it’s becoming evident: he and Jess really were well suited. Full Story

Like Clockwork

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 08:29:13 September 21, 2007 08:29:13

Surprise! Just a day after news broke that Denise Richards is once again accusing Charlie Sheen of being a pervert and trying to position herself as the better parent, all while the financial terms of their divorce hang in the balance, the paps miraculously captured her playing and laughing with her daughter Sam. Full Story

LaineyBooks: The Overachievers

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2007 08:21:25 September 21, 2007 08:21:25

I can see the light – LaineyBooks will launch soon complete with a rating system for you and also a Literary Freebie Five. Until then, here is the next entry. The Overachievers: the secret lives of driven kidsBy Alexandra Robbins I was both a keener and a slacker in high school – a keener til the end of grade 10 and then a slacker the rest of the way. Full Story

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Dear Gossips,

I don’t like Justin Timberlake. But the Pip deserves his due. Killed it on Oprah yesterday. As usual, very impressive…the performance, I mean. The boy is like Beckham: no talking preferred.

Still…that JT is a true artist is indisputable. More than enormous talent, it’s also the versatility. Whether grooving with Snoop and Fiddy or grinding with Madonna or harmonising with Reba McIntyre, he always belongs in that musical moment. And unlike that punk ass poseur Avril Lavigne, Pip actually does write for himself and everyone else these days. If only a little humility, non?

But here’s the thing - Justin could totally save Britney Spears. And he would too. If only to fuel his massive ego…can you imagine? After boasting about saving the Grammy telecast and bragging about increasing McDonald’s share prices by almost 25%, can you imagine how much bigger Pip’s head would grow if he reached out and put life into the lifeless?

I hope and pray.

And one final note re: Justin on Oprah – who are those women??? The women who were NOT teenagers. The women who were near 30, if not older. The women ACTING OUT THE LYRICS to his song? Who are you? Who does this??? Who does this and is NOT embarrassed?

Justin sang: Should"ve known better when you came around that you were going to make me cry and they panned to some broad bouncin’ around in her seat, making a crying “boo hoo” motion with her right hand… I promptly lost my sh-t and had to hit rewind on the PVR. Having a dance party over a great beat I can totally understand. Singing along to a wicked jam is cool too. But ACTING OUT THE LYRICS???

Stop. This is why Oprah stopped being relatable.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. To Bess in Santa Barbara who just got engaged to her beloved Matt… Congratulations! On both counts! Much love and all the best.

Better than Rossum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 20, 2007 10:09:46 September 20, 2007 10:09:46

As hilarious as this is – Jessica Simpson trying to act – I’d STILL take it any day over Rossum. Yes indeed. Jessica Simpson, tranny or not, trumps Emmy Rossum. So here’s Jess at work on the set of Major Movie Star yesterday. Full Story

Casual Cloon

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 20, 2007 09:56:57 September 20, 2007 09:56:57

Quiver your loins over this – a casual Clooney in NYC. Look how he wears his pants. The Clooney wears pants well. Very, very well. And he wears salt and pepper even better. Seriously, he’s so handsome I can hardly breathe. So if Jakey G is to be the heir to the George, the pants issue really needs some work, non? Time to get rid of that bubble butt. Full Story