Healed by the Chosen One

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 06:24:00 May 20, 2008 06:24:00

The Pitts went shopping for baby goods yesterday in Cannes and the whole town lost its sh-t. This is because the Chosen One Shiloh was brought down from her home in the clouds for a walk among mortals. The paparazzi were well prepared. I received a text as I was leaving the junket that they were mobilising from their usual spots to congregate around the First Family, amused that they had decided on the busiest time of day and also the busiest day period to go “shopping”. Full Story

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Face to Face With Cate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 06:15:23 May 20, 2008 06:15:23

Can’t believe she gave birth 5 weeks ago. Crazy talk. She was wearing a satin grey jumper with Balenciaga heels. Pink lips, little foundation, the most stunning creature you’ve ever seen. I told her I couldn’t believe she just had a baby 5 weeks ago. Then she grabbed her breasts and said “well these weren’t here before!” and threw back her head and laughed like the Queen. Full Story

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Meeting Indiana Jones

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 06:06:00 May 20, 2008 06:06:00

So I was discharged on Monday morning, we dashed to a random salon to get my hair shampooed because it was rank and stank from sickness, then over to the Carlton for the Indiana Jones junket. Unfortunately Shia had already left as he was on a tight sched but the publicists accommodated my pathetic arm and shuttled me through for Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett. Full Story

Late Night Prowling

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 05:59:15 May 20, 2008 05:59:15

Recently reunited with his long time lover, this celebrated actor is supposed to be taking his new role seriously … which is why perhaps why he has spent several late nights hitting up the decadent continental club scene, rolling in at no earlier than 3am and staying til sun up. Three times in the last 5 days. Full Story

Granny’s Bump Grows Again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 05:57:23 May 20, 2008 05:57:23

She is as obvious as Ebola on a photo opp. Can you imagine? An Oscar winner having to stoop down to Paris Hilton’s level? This is now Nicole Kidman’s reality. Gran showed up with a noticeably bigger bump at the Country Music Awards the other night holding on to her belly in nearly every. Full Story

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Lessons learned so far in Cannes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 05:48:05 May 20, 2008 05:48:05

the French health care system rocks! crackheads look the same everywhere…even in France my roommate was a 99 year old (99!!!!) French female farting machine who refused to open the widow or leave the door open and still I’d rather bunk again with the French female farting machine any time than be friends with Emmy Rossum! Full Story

We Blame Mischa Barton

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 05:45:06 May 20, 2008 05:45:06

Friday night we were supposed to cover a Mischa Barton red carpet for that dumbass Tatu movie she made last year. So we show up at Majestic Beach at 10pm ready to shoot and one of the Tatus is running around hoping to get noticed to no avail and the publicists are setting up the stanchions and we’re just about to pull the camera out when a rep comes over to say that Mischa skipped the photo call the day before and she hadn’t been seen in 24 hrs. Full Story

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Good news and bad news. The bad news is I broke my arm. The good news is I survived surgery. And the hospital here in Cannes is like Grey’s Anatomy – hot doctors everywhere. Also everyone here is up on smut. Even the lovely orderly who brought me upstairs knew that the GMD is the GMD.

Am still attached to IV so please give me a day or two to figure out how to move around in this sling and I’ll be back soon. I hope to be back by mid-week to fill you in.

Yours in one-armed gossip,


Friday, May 16, 2008

Dear Gossips,

It’s raining in Cannes today. It was supposed to rain yesterday. But not on Angelina’s red carpet. Of course not. The Chosen Sequels certainly saw to that. As such, the rains came today. It is morning, hopefully the clouds will burn off by midday.

As promised in today’s postings: Pitt Porn, Gael Garcia Bernal, and Romo’s downgrade. Interviews lined up with Jack Black and Lucy Liu for Kung Fu Panda and Dustin Hoffman too. Am nervous for that one. He doesn’t seem like the type to have any patience for dumbassness. This might be a problem.

Friday – am blogging between shoots. And also tomorrow and the day after. Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,


Smutty Tingles

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2008 09:10:00 May 16, 2008 09:10:00

Mad packed sched today but will fill you in when I get back on Sean Penn"s late night adventures and more.

Also - what"s going down with Jess and Romo. For now... Enjoy the smutty partners:

One Night in KFC (Dlisted)

Whose boobs are better? Audrina or Heidi? (Hollywood Tuna)

Sapphic I Do"s (INO)

Ebola infecting Selfridges (Holy Moly UK)

Sit DOWN you ungrateful b*tch! (Cele|bitchy)

Photo Negotiation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 16, 2008 08:06:00 May 16, 2008 08:06:00

She says she is free and fabulous, embarking on a new chapter in her life, and recently went in for a little touch-me-up in the chest area. Some changes leave things super saggy and the sagging never stops. Which is why she opens up the scar between her tits once a year – a scar that is visible in person but oddly enough, never in photographs. Full Story