Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Dead tired today, couldn’t sleep last night because Heidi’s crazy plastic face kept haunting me… did you watch The Hills??? Did it move??? Did her face move at all??? More on that later.

Busy day in gossip. Kate and Owen are officially back together, holding hands and not hiding from the paps, Britney’s rather anticlimactic turn on How I Met Your Mother, and Renee Zellweger super scary freshly peeled.

But first… Countdown to the Junos! Canada celebrates Canadian music in Calgary – are you ready for the red carpet?

eTalk is putting fans on the red carpet AND inside the show… you interested?

Send an email to [email protected] or call 1-866-460-4797 to reserve your free spot on the Red Carpet. I’ll be there too, covering the event for eTalk! When you see me… shout out GMD or Granny Freeze! Because we’re giving away tickets to the show and would LOVE for you to watch from inside the Saddledome.

Also up for grabs - one LaineyGossip.com reader who is on the Juno red carpet will win a brand new Alice + Olivia polka dot clutch from their new line of accessories available at PayLess which is actually getting great reviews. Particularly the polka dot series. The flats are adorable. The clutch is amazing. And if you live in Calgary, the clutch could be yours.

Junos April 6th! Can’t wait to see you there!

Tuesday – am online all day, remember to refresh! Click here to see who came in first on the list of Top 5 Smutty Break-Ups!

Congratulations to “tmichele23” who sent in her list of Smutty Break-Ups and who is now the winner of a brand new 4-shade Cargo Lipstick set designed by Kim Raver, Denise Richards, and Angie Harmon. The swag is good…see?

Yours in gossip,


All Bones and No Toe

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 14:17:00 March 25, 2008 14:17:00

Only Victoria Beckham could wear pants this small and make them look lose. Sagging off her scrawny ass. Lording her thinness over all of us fatties. And no camel toe! Love her. Posh is back in London to support Becks who has rejoined the English squad. Of course she went shopping… because there really is nothing to buy in LA. Full Story

Chacey & Jacey

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 12:56:00 March 25, 2008 12:56:00

Michael K at DListed thinks they’re “anal f*cking”. But that’s what we love about Michael K. He thinks everyone is anal f*cking. Even Oprah and Gayle. Especially Oprah and Gayle. As for whether or not Chace Crawford and JC Chasez are getting the gay on… the ‘mos can talk of nothing else. Full Story

Your Weekly Dose of Mimi Cheese

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 11:29:00 March 25, 2008 11:29:00

I need it, you need it, Mimi Cheese is our favourite. And this week’s instalment does not disappoint. (Why the f&ck does Microsoft Word keep taking the second “L” out of installment??? I prefer traveLLing with two “L’s” too.) Back to Mimi – she was featured on The Hills MTV special yesterday… it was a little bit embarrassing, really. Full Story

Chicken Fried Little is Engaged

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 11:13:00 March 25, 2008 11:13:00

It must be true… because People.com is reporting it. Or at least they want you to think it’s true. Because People.com is reporting it. Jamie Lynn Spears is apparently running around Louisiana showing off an engagement ring from her baby daddy Casey Aldridge, putting to rest initial reports that he wouldn’t be around by the time of the birth. Full Story

How He Holds Her

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 11:11:00 March 25, 2008 11:11:00

Opportunity knocks but the past also drags. She has much to look forward to, and big shoes to fill, but the work is steady and only getting steadier and being attached to highly anticipated projects never hurts either. Only slight problem… the man in her life isn’t exactly supportive. Part jealousy, part insecurity, and he knows how to hold her, even though she’d much rather, personally and professionally, be rid of the baggage. Full Story

The Mystery “O”

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 10:00:00 March 25, 2008 10:00:00

Thanks to the lovely, lovely reader who sent this in yesterday after watching The View. A curious little slip by Whoopi Goldberg – anyone else happen to catch it? It was during the Hot Topics segment, the hens were clucking about body image and magazines – how celebrities claim they stay in shape through healthy diets and yoga and personal trainers when in reality, it ends up being achieved on the surgeon’s table, nips and tucks… Whoopi posits, something to the effect of: “Yeah, what they don’t tell you is they are getting it all cut off!” And then Joy objects – “But Whoopi, they can’t get it all cut off – their face would still be fat. Full Story

Simon Darker

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 08:48:00 March 25, 2008 08:48:00

A one time member of the Freebie Five, Simon Pegg was on hand last night at the premiere of Run Fatboy Run, costarring Thandie Newton and directed by David Schwimmer. Yes, that David Schwimmer. The man who played limp Ross. Limp Ross who was inconceivably written as Rachel Green’s lobster… which to me has always been a television mystery. Full Story

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Long Island Chicken Fried Dirty Face?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 08:10:00 March 25, 2008 08:10:00

Lindsay Lohan last night out for dinner at Katsu-ya and then hitting up Villa with Samantha Ronson – the white bag, the Sam Lutfi lookalike, the stains all over clothes, no bra bouncing breasts… Lilo is turning into Chicken Fried Britney! Except with an even dirtier face! On the low side, she’s partying again. Full Story

Hurts to Look

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 07:47:00 March 25, 2008 07:47:00

If you tell me your first instinct when seeing Renee Zellweger isn’t to put a hand to your own face like you’ve been burned… I won’t believe you. Don’t lie. Because it hurts to look at her. It hurts to imagine what she’s done to it. How hard she’s scrubbed it. Full Story

Chicken Fried Farewell?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2008 07:21:42 March 25, 2008 07:21:42

Britney’s much ballyhooed appearance on How I Met Your Mother last night – a stroke of casting genius. There were people (like me) who don’t even watch that show who made sure to set the DVR. I tuned in for Britney, I came out with a major hard-on for Sarah Chalke. Still… it’s true: Britney is a booming business. Full Story