Jake, Pants, Problem

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

At first glance, Jakey G pushing a stroller – major quiveration. And then the pants kick in. The atrocious way he wears his pants, the terrible way they don’t hang off his bubble bum, and how they’re stretched too tightly across the front – quiveration killed. But not enough, I suppose, to kick him off the Freebie Five. Full Story

Plastic, Tan, Wax

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

Two for two. Second appearance in a row where she’s looked fake under too much makeup and silver has factored both times – pants previously and now heavily lidded. Can"t believe Jennifer Lopez is now freakin" me out more than Marc Anthony. Full Story

Karma, Face, Nasty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

Rose McGowan, Us Weekly party last night – newest Karma Face on the block. And that’s some scary sh-t, is it not? Widely believed that Rose homewrecked director Robert Rodriguez’s marriage and I think we can all agree she’s paying for it now a year later. Only 33 and melting already. Full Story

Pinned, Prom, Dirty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

Lindsay Lohan at the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood event last night – pinned pupils as usual, dirty face as usual, and prom hair rounding out the ass. Also looks like she’s dropping weight again, and at this rate, at only 20, bitch will have more stretch marks than Elizabeth Taylor. Lilo washed up at 25…can’t hardly wait. Full Story

Becks, Blonde, Sting?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

Everyone hates… call me Cruise but I don’t hate. I think it’s kinda hot. And I also thought Brad Pitt’s bleach blonde was hot too. Not forever, of course. But for now it’s alright. For now it’s reportedly for the cover of W Magazine, which is apparently why Posh went lighter last weekend as well. Full Story

Britney, Body, Babies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

Bet your boob job and a side of lipo Leslie Sloane Zelnick is behind this and why not? How better to repair an image than with a tight ass and rapidly toned quads? Look closely gossips… every inch of Britney is getting super tight – have to admit it’s a little inspiration for my post-ciggie chubb. Full Story

Uncomfortable & Afraid?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2007 12:00:00 April 27, 2007 12:00:00

In between takes on the set of her new movie in Louisiana. And while I always say you can’t determine much from just one photo, since it’s Katie Holmes and since we’re goin’ with the whole prisoner angle, I’d say she looks kinda uncomfortable in the arms of another man, non? Even though it’s just a co-star, even though it’s just a movie, there is the weight of several scientological eyeballs supervising the scene – her “minders” likely hovering close by, making sure “acting” is just “acting… Chills, chills, chills. Full Story

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Have always loved Prince, now love Prince even more. Because Prince apparently hates Paris Hilton and isn’t afraid to go public.

So the Purple Sexy was performing in Vegas last week when he spotted Ebola in the crowd. He called to her, invited her on stage, of course she obliged, only to be handed a mic and commanded to sing, as Prince said cheekily to the audience:
“Let’s see if she can really sing.” Hee.

Needless to say, Paris stomped off leaving Elliott Mintz to deny the story, adding yet another lie on top of the hundreds he has already dished out in support of that disgusting piece of sh-t he calls a client.

It’s Thursday, will be blogging all day.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. My regards to the girls at Orca Bay who, in spite of last night, will always always Believe in Blue.

PPS. Who else but Celine Dion could perform with an Elvis hologram? Forgive me, I worship Elvis, I had to watch parts of American Idol last night. And as usual, with anything involving Celine, abject horror turned to amusement – she really does do tacky so entertainingly, and creepy entertainment she delivered: I will never forget the sight of Celine emoting with an electronically resurrected Elvis Presley, legging-clad legs spread in her trademark half-lunge position throughout the entire performance…sigh. Celine Cheese. There’s nothing like it.

I Get It…sort of

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 26, 2007 12:00:00 April 26, 2007 12:00:00

It’s never going to be a full blown quiver but I guess I can see why it might be for you. Adrian Grenier here on the Tribeca Film Festival carpet. Before it was his hair, I think – just wasn’t down with so much ‘fro. And Vince is so boring on the show, to be honest I hardly notice when he’s around. Full Story

Naomi: British for Narcissa?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 26, 2007 12:00:00 April 26, 2007 12:00:00

If you’re not a Harry Potter geek, I’m sorry for the references. Less than 3 months away from the premiere of Harry Potter 5 and the release of the final book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows…can’t f*cking wait. And now UK gossip are buzzing about casting possibilities for the upcoming film version of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince – none other than Naomi Watts to step into the role of Narcissa Malfoy nee Black? Narcissa is Lucius Malfoy’s wife, Draco’s mother, Bellatrix Lestrange’s sister, both cousins of Sirius Black – needless to say, “Cissy” is a raging bitch with a key scene at the beginning of The Half Blood Prince and rumour has it, Naomi is being considered to play the part…which explains a lot. Full Story

About Annie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 26, 2007 12:00:00 April 26, 2007 12:00:00

Can we talk about Annie Lennox? How can you NOT love Annie Lennox? Annie Lennox is the definition of cool – here at American Idol last night, totally chill and unchanged after all these years. I do this thing with Annie when my iPod shuffles onto to one of her songs. Even if they are kinda operatic cheese, only Annie can make me pretend I’m in a music video and lipsynch along – particularly to No More I Love You’s. Full Story