Gwyneth: December in Russia

December 13, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 13, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Promoting a martini in Moscow…how odd. But really…who cares when she looks this good? My Gwynnie in a super short dress and gold heels, pale lips and dark eyes, hair combed and blown out, typical beloved bored expression – she’s really too good to be there, didn’t you know? Sigh. So gorgeous. Full Story

Angie & Jen: a truce?

December 13, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 13, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The new cover of Us Weekly – hilarious caption and even more hilarious details inside: Jen suffers another humiliating split. Ouch. Janice Min REALLY hates her, doesn’t she? According to the magazine, Jennifer has been calling Brad to help her get over getting dumped by Vince Vaughn. Her rep denies and his rep says she has no knowledge of it but if you go on Huvane’s track record of …well…not being reliable, can we then infer that she really has been begging for his shoulder to cry on? Poor thing. Full Story

Britney: always dumb, still blind

December 13, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 13, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Look at this f*ckin’ tool. Britney’s new man, the one she was making out with, I can’t be bothered to learn his name. He might have a job and he may be helping her produce a decent record but still…why does she insist on dudes who look like degenerates??? The kind of punks you see at the Mall, practicing that faux limp, one oversized pant leg dragging behind the other, a pager in one hand, cell phone in the other, sucking on a toothpick, gesticulating with ring-adorned fingers surrounded by a crew of equally ravishing, barely employed young men who believe that the size of one’s posse is in direct proportion to the size of one’s penis, but who inevitably end the evening with a ride home on the bus. Full Story

How the Pitts gush

December 13, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 13, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Angelina Jolie gets cheesy…who would have thought? But if there was ever a week to show a “softer” side, this would be it. Because tattoos and airplanes won’t win over the MiniVan Majority and there’s nothing like a cheesy, gushy, public proclamation of love to chip away at the MiniVan insecurity complex little by little. Full Story

Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Dear Gossips, You’re sick of Britney’s lady folds, you’re sick of TomKat’s neverending wedding, and after the next couple of weeks, you might get sick of Brad and Angelina. More photos, more magazine interviews, The Chosen One fully exposed…and yes, she is an exception. Click on archives under “This Week” if you haven’t seen The Good Shepherd red carpet pics – the TOGETHER red carpet pics. See below for the genetic jackpot. Tuesday, live blogging, check back often for new posts. Yours in gossip, Lainey

Angelina: couture pilot

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Another photo from Vogue - Angelina upping the cool quotient by flying her plane while rockin" a designer suit. Love how her legs are spread so unflatteringly while she"s navigating. And I can just hear the MiniVan prudes sniping: how positively unladylike! Dude - she"s trying to stay airborne during a high fashion photoshoot. Full Story

The Pitts: a PDA clinic

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You don’t kiss for three minutes on camera and release the footage to the world press. You don’t envelop each other in an airtight embrace every Saturday for the benefit of the pappies, or trade saliva on the red carpet, or profess your “magnificent, amazing, awesome, incredible” love on top of Oprah’s couch, with jumping jacks for exclamation marks - not if you expect anyone but the MiniVan Majority to believe you. Full Story

The Maid & Makeup Exclusive Giveaway!

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

More holiday gift ideas if you haven’t finished your shopping. Two prizes, four winners. First for readers in Canada: lifeEXPERIENCES, the ultimate gift card for convenience and pampering, now available at Shopper’s Drug Mart – I’m giving away TWO Merry Maids certificates (just to be clear, 2 people are eligible to win) that include the following: - Two professionally trained, bonded and insured maids sent to your home FOR THREE HOURS vacuuming, floor washing, dusting, sanitizing and deodorizing, including bathrooms and kitchens using all professional supplies and equipment, freeing up more time for you to smut, or shop, or get sh-tfaced with the girls…and boys. Full Story

Wonky Email

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sorry subscribers – I don’t know what’s up with my email, am still trying to fix it, have sent clues 3 times to no avail. As such, clues below. When it’s fixed, clues directly to your inbox will resume. Thanks and so sorry for the inconvenience! Digits on the Run A very attractive male actor at a photoshoot just this past weekend, curiously without girlfriend, making a career out of making girls want to be his girlfriend. Full Story

Girlcrushing on Katherine Heigl

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s not a size 0. She’s not even a size 2. But she looks better than any twiggy cracked out skank who can fit into the standard. Katherine Heigl at the Dreamgirls premiere last night, dressing for her body, dressing appropriately, dressing like a woman with curves who can still rock with style. Full Story

Lilo De-Bloats?

December 12, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 12, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maybe it’s just my holiday positivity. I asked for a geeky video game for Christmas, I think I might be getting it. Maybe that’s what it is – the thought of getting through the 3 days with my screaming nephews and niece hiding away in a corner with my Brain Age, perhaps that explains the charitable outlook… So call me Cruise but I think Lindsay Lohan looks better. Full Story