Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Dear Gossips,

French women are so ridiculously beautiful and chic – it’s a form of entertainment just watching them. Dylan calls them Weapons of Ass Destruction… we’ve been ogling for 2 straight days along the Croisette in Cannes – is that pervy?

Festival madness is officially upon us. Tomorrow it’s My Blueberry Nights: Norah Jones’s much anticipated feature film debut. The movie will be presented right after the opening ceremony – Norah and Jude Law and director Wong Kar Wai will be walking the carpet. And if you’ve seen In the Mood for Love, you are probably well aware of his work…which is why this one is the one to watch. Wong’s first English language picture has everyone talking. Will keep you posted.

Went through my press package today – turns out Colin Firth is scheduled to attend next week in support of his latest St Trinian’s. Hello Quiver. More quiver also in the form of Bond himself, Daniel Craig for The Golden Compass. A chance to be within striking distance of a member of my Freebie Five? Goddess help my loins.

All the action from Cannes – and Hollywood too! - stay tuned.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Good luck to Lorraine who is getting married in 10 days. Congratulations! I know it’s been a rough go but hang in there and all the best!

There’s Always a Reason

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Tell me… is it still by accident if baby photos and happy mummy photos keep showing up day after day? Are the pappies really that clever? Are they really that despicable if hey just happen to “stumble” upon their subjects at the market, or the playground, or wherever there’s a celebrity mother playing with her adorable Violet? Makes me laugh every time – when I hear the huffing and puffing of gossip amateurs sanctimoniously blasting photographers: Leave them alone! They are people too! But wouldn’t you know it, Jennifer Garner’s agent is pitching a new tv show for her – a talk show, in fact, described as The View for Mommies, and Jen would make an appearance once or twice a week to brand the project under her name, much like Barbara Walters. Full Story

What is it?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Can’t put my finger on it but this photo cracks me up – Charlize Theron and Anna Wintour at the Dior Cruise show last night. Is it because Anna’s neck muscles are popping out painfully while Charlize is so naturally, elegantly seated? Is it because Charlize is grace without trying while every inch of Ms Wintour is fighting her 50s? Is it because she is not so quietly cursing with her eyes the intrepid photographer who dared request a photo of her next to someone who eclipses almost anyone? Oh but look at those eyes. Full Story

Coming to her senses

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Finally… Jessica Alba - dressing demurely, making comments last week about not showing off her ass and her tits, trying to go the classy route to avoid the mishaps of her peers…all part of a delusional attempt to become a serious actress. Said it before and I’ll say it again – yet another tv girl wanting more. Full Story

Legendary Hotness and his Children

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Look at him walking. Look at his pants. Brad Pitt is all-time, you know? And then when you throw the kids in there? Come on…the man is a Legend. Here he is collecting the children from school. Check out Maddox and his crafty smile, check out Brad grinning back. But on this occasion, nothing beats Zahara. Full Story

Bad Girlfriends always gets it back

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

As Dina Lohan would say – Justice! Richie Sambora is a wealthy, wealthy man. And Denise Richards’s attempt at getting her pandering hands on any of that cash has failed miserably. Apparently her rep is telling In Touch that they’re over, that it was over two months ago but that they “didn"t want to make it public because they lived through public divorces and it was very painful. Full Story

Posh Immodest

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Victoria Beckham is moaning and groaning about how rough it was finding a multimillion dollar mansion in Beverly Hills that met her high standards. She has also revealed that getting her boys into local private schools wasn’t easy either – that she actually had to promise to be an involved parent and participate in PTA events with other rich people who manage to fit community activities into a lifestyle of couture and cocktail parties. Full Story

Quiver for the Boy Next Door

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

So he looks a little goofy and totally, totally un-Hollywood. But I picture John Krasinki striding confidently into class five minutes late, bag looped across his back, wearing sneakers and just right jeans with a striped shirt and a baseball cap, looking for a seat, and hoping he’ll take the one next to mine. Full Story

Petra Nemcova – infected by association?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Petra Nemcova was apparently grinding up on Greek Stav the other night in NYC … and going by the law of Six Degrees of Sex Association, that would mean that she is only one step removed from Paris Hilton… Now in spite of the fact that Stav was tappin’ that Black Hole Vagina for the better part of a year, you have to admit, he’s a helluva lot better looking than James Blunt and his clammy large teeth. Full Story

Conceit & the Mindfreak

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Cameron Diaz – whose says her good looks are an albatross – is fighting Pip with Magic, hooking up in Vegas last night with Mindfreak Criss Angel. They had dinner, they went to a show, they canoodled, they giggled, and he apparently looked smitten. Full Story

Pip & Biel in the UK?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

British gossips are reporting that Jessica Biel has joined JT on tour in the UK – can’t see her face but they say this is the first official photo of them together. For Biel’s sake, I hope it is indeed her…I mean can you imagine the embarrassment? Still…it totally makes sense. Full Story