Papa Joe Can’t Manage

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2007 04:03:56 December 21, 2007 04:03:56

Pervy Papa Pimp Joe Simpson has totally f&cked up Jessica Simpson’s career, not to mention her love life, and now he’s also failing with Ashlee. Ashlee’s new album was set to drop in November but has since been pushed back to early 2008. Word is she’s back in studio for rewrites and tweaks. Full Story

Shelf Ass Eats Fresh

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2007 03:41:26 December 21, 2007 03:41:26

Check out Jessica Biel pretending to be annoyed by the paps on a take out excursion to Baja Fresh the other day. Yum. Love Baja Fresh. Please come to Canada! But that Shelf Ass is amazing, non? Perky and protruding even under a sweater, no wonder it’s carrying the weight of her entire career. Full Story

B & Jay: Wedding Tattoos?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2007 03:14:50 December 21, 2007 03:14:50

MediaTakeOut is reporting that Beyonce and Jay-Z secretly married in Paris a couple of weeks ago while celebrating his birthday and commemorated their nuptials with matching tattoos on their ring fingers – photos attached. Full Story

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Every starlet in Hollywood is pissed at Jamie Lynn Spears. Because one teenage pregnancy has blown everyone else out of the water… including, temporarily, her own sister. Hollywood Ebola is now desperately trying to conceive a way to get back into the headlines, Lindsay Lohan thinks a Sapphic rumour might do the trick, Katherine Heigl is taking the paparazzi on a tour of her pre-wedding preparations around Los Angeles, and poor Britney has run out of ways to flash her poonie.

Happy Holidays!

Thursday, am blogging from the Pacific Rim… please excuse typos, haven’t slept since Tuesday.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. My love and gratitude to the RBC girls who check back many times every day!

PPS. Tom Cruise was not entertaining visitors in his trailer. Neither was Patrick Dempsey.

PPPS. Don"t forget to enter the Secret Sweepstakes  to win an evening of hot experiences in Montreal!

One-Legged When Convenient: Worst of 2007

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 16:29:29 December 20, 2007 16:29:29

When she’s accusing Paul McCartney of beating and abusing her, Heather Mills never hesitates to remind us that she’s only got one leg and is the most tragic victim ever. Remember…in her divorce filings she alleges that Sir Paul made her crawl up the stairs and refused to let her use a bed pan, obliging her instead to walk her ass by herself to the loo. Full Story

SAGs to be the Oscars?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 16:05:50 December 20, 2007 16:05:50

The Writer’s Guild will be picketing the Golden Globes this year and if a resolution is not hammered out by then, few – if any – actors will be crossing the line to attend the awards. The Screen Actors Guild however just announced their nominees today. Given that the SAG has long been supportive of the WGA, it was no surprise when it was revealed that it had reached an interim agreement with the WGA allowing writer’s to write for the event and opening the door for nominees to gussy themselves up and make a splash on the red carpet…which means that if a deal isn’t reached within weeks of the new year, the SAGs just might be the only awards excitement of the season. Full Story

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Her White Wedding Coat

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 07:35:18 December 20, 2007 07:35:18

Katherine Heigl is getting married in 4 days. The wedding will cap off what has been a career year: she managed to monopolise a sh*tty season of Grey’s Anatomy, she starred in a blockbuster movie that she subsequently called sexist (though she didn’t hesitate to move her asking price from $300,000 per picture to $6 million) she took home an Emmy, and she was named one of Barbara Walters’s most fascinating of 2007. Full Story

Fraud Love for Water: Best of 2007

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 07:10:41 December 20, 2007 07:10:41

A for effort if not for effectiveness – next to Jessica Biel’s brilliant media play, Jennifer Aniston’s endless and obvious PR antics delivered the most amusement this year. First she signs on to a multi million dollar contract as the spokesperson for Smart Water. Then a rumour surfaces that she’s dating some British model called Paul Sculfor. Full Story

Keeping Fit for KFed Jr

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 06:54:11 December 20, 2007 06:54:11

Little Liam isn’t even a year and already Tori Spelling has worked her way back to pre-baby shape – as you can see, a set of flat abs to go along with the brand new boob job she supposedly gave her husband as a push present. Most women receive push presents in return for their labour pains, but since Tori married a golddigging KFed Jr, she will always be the one doing the giving. Full Story

Spice Kids on Stage

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 06:45:57 December 20, 2007 06:45:57

The other night in London – the Spice Girls were joined onstage by their children, with the exception of Ginger’s Bluebell who may be still recovering from chicken pox, all the baby Spices made an appearance including all three Beckham boys wearing t-shirts with POSH emblazoned across the front. Full Story

Robobride Trumps Granny Freeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2007 06:30:18 December 20, 2007 06:30:18

New interview with Katie Holmes, Queen Latifah, and Diane Keaton in Parade Magazine and KatE delivers a clinic in MiniVan Majority Fellatio. There’s love, there’s baking, there’s chocolate, there’s children, there’s sisterhood, and of course there is LOVE. All in time for the holidays. Full Story