Applauding Contrition

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

If only they were all so contrite, the tabloids – the bullsh-t from Life & Style and Star Magazine, Brad and Angelina splitting one week and pregnant the next – if only they’d pull a Page Six…and this is why I say Page Six is gossip scripture.Yesterday"s confusing report Full Story

Posh Flops & Bails

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

You saw the video the other day edited and manipulated to show a couple on the rocks, and you’ve heard the gossip – now that Becks is being welcomed back to represent his country, his enthusiasm about an American move is supposedly waning and his dissatisfaction over his wife’s constant absences is taking its toll. Full Story

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Dear Gossips,

What do you think when you hear: Talk to me Goose…?

It was on last night, in HD no less. So being the HD whore, my husband made us watch. Amazing to think it’s been twenty years. TWENTY years. And you have to admit, Top Gun still holds up, non? In every way it still holds up. Have seen it countless times, can recite the most famous lines, and still when Maverick and Iceman buzz the tower at the very end in a show of solidarity, I still get goosebumps every time.

Which is why, of course, people LOVE the GMD. Back then he was indeed lovable. And soooo beautiful. SO beautiful.

Funny though the new things you notice with the benefit of age and gay training. After rescuing his countrymen in the final standoff, you will recall Tom has a “moment” on the shipdeck, he grips his dogtags tightly – memories of his fallen best friend playing poignantly in his mind, that famous jaw clenches back tears… a final goodbye, before tossing them in the ocean. We watched that scene last night and you will note, from a man’s man perspective, my husband who was raised in a stinky locker room, who prefers lying around in his own filth to metrosexuals and manicures, my husband who worships Tom Cruise, who refuses to believe the truth, who can’t handle the truth, my husband took one look at Tom Cruise’s dandy little arm throwing those dogtags and said simply:

Yup. He’s gay. Throws like a girl.

I’m telling you – order that sh-t up and watch it back. Vintage Gay Midget Dwarf…you will love, love, love.

Thursday – am online all day, blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Warning: Double shameless self promotion today. Apologies in advance…

Don’t Forget About Me!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Brad and Angelina conquer Cannes. A Mighty Heart earns critical acclaim. The Oceans boys do not disappoint on 13. Mr and Mrs Pitt make out in the backseat of a car, world goes bananas, haters hate, Brangelunatics lose their sh-t…but the point is, everybody is talking. And no one is talking about Jen. Full Story

We Love Her

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Don’t we love her? Julianne Moore? The underrated, underappreciated Julianne Moore? I tell you – I still think she was ripped off for Far From Heaven. And as that hot piece of gay ass Nelson Branco once told me – if you switch the roles, if you switched Charlize in Monster with Julianne in Heaven, Julianne could 100% have pulled off the Monster, but Charlize could never, ever, ever have pulled off the housewife. Full Story

Kate Moss: in common with Brad?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Brad Pitt widely criticized for morphing into his women – as suggested by the tabloids, he hairmatched with former lovers Paltrow and Aniston and also initially with Jolie when he dyed his hair black. Thanks to the brilliance of the British, the same observation is being made about Kate Moss, now looking and more and more like Pete Doherty, sharing hatwear and caved noses, but also pulling the same thing back with Johnny Depp and Jefferson Hack – see attached. Full Story

Toronto? Gossip? Party?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Was honoured last year to speak at a Smut Soiree, organised by the brilliant ladies of The Society in Toronto – an evening full of gossip and a chance to hang out with fellow smutlovers over martinis, dishing the dirt, like girlfriends on a Friday night, only at a pub with loot to take home. Will be back in Toronto next week – and we’re doing it again! And now that I"ve developed a rather alarming fondness for vodka and beer and the buzz that comes with it, smut will probably be just as free flowing! Would LOVE for you to join me! Date: Thursday, June 7th, 8pm – 10:30pm Where: Roots flagship store on Bloor St. Full Story

Hayden & Rachel: dinner in Toronto

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Received a tip last night – Hayden Christensen took Rachel Bilson to his favourite Italien restaurant on Tuesday in Toronto around Yonge & Eg. Both were delightful and understated, kind to fans, obliging with autographs, and both observed to be rather shy, as if they were on “out on a high school date”. Full Story

Love the Floppy Hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

George Clooney back at his summer villa – Lake Como – with Matt Damon and family heading out for a spin on the boat. Oh just a regular day… Wonder where the leggy blonde is…Jennifer Aguero? Since I saw them at the Hotel du Cap during the Cannes Film Festival, still no photos of the two of them together… see? It IS possible. Full Story

Before Evan, there was Lilo?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Much has been made of the icky relationship between Marilyn Manson and the very young, very impressionable Evan Rachel Wood. Something about a music video in which they may or may not have been f&cking for real and of course the fact that whatever they have resulted in the demise of his marriage to Dita von Teese… But wait… What does Lindsay Lohan have to do with it? Well… according to Manson, he has seen the Firecrotch in private – he even pontificates about it a little in a recent video posted on the web: "How much would it suck that forever you"re going to be "firecrotch," you"re gonna have to shave or just roll with it . Full Story

Cam D: Laughing off Biel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 31, 2007 00:00:00 May 31, 2007 00:00:00

Jessica Biel, the girl with the brilliant publicist, the girl who has somehow landed on the It List solely by virtue of a really toned body and dating Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel is now trying to leverage more fame by going toe to toe with the Ex…yet another example of why she’ll never be able to make it on her own. Full Story