John Mayer’s Look of Shame

January 26, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 26, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In Florida last night after his show, maybe it’s just me but I see shame in his eyes. The eyes, the body language – this is not a man who is proud of his conquest or particularly happy to associated with it. Rather, this is a man who is bearing a heavy sense of embarrassment, the same look you’ve likely seen over and over again – on your own face or the face of a friend, after a night of wild partying and drinking, it used to happen all the time for us in university. Full Story

Thursday, January 25, 2007
Dear Gossips, Forget community service and a charitable donation – rehab appears to be the new celebrity PR quick fix. Whether you’re a racist or an obnoxious 20 year old with an irresponsible mother or a womanising country music star married to a Freeze Face or an actor who hates the gays, clearly the message in Hollywood these days is to blame the sauce or the drugs and get your ass into treatment as soon as the sh-t hits the fan…COINCIDENTALLY as soon as the sh-t hits the fan. In a word? Weak. Thursday – busy day, live blogging, check back often for fresh posts. Highlight of the week? Definitely Paris Exposed. On the off chance you haven’t heard – she was moving, she put her belongings in storage, she forgot to pay the measly $200 bill, her stuff was auctioned off, purchased by a few entrepreneurial fellows, catalogued, scanned, and posted on the web for your viewing pleasure…at a price, of course. I’m too cheap to fork over $39.99 for the privilege of seeing Paris coked up and doped up and naked and probably taking it up the ass 24/7 but hey – you might enjoy it. And if you do…SEND DETAILS. For a taste before you buy – click here for the trailer…yes, half the free world has goosed her and YES, she absolutely does tell the camera that: I get f*cked in the butt for coke. For clips and screencaps, hats off to the wickedly dirty Jesus Martinez at Drunken Stepfather for gettin’ his smut on so quickly with the coverage. CAUTION: Not safe for work…but seriously, if there was ever any, any, any doubt about Paris Hilton, about just how f&cking nasty she really is, about whether or not she too is a frequent “bathroom visitor” much like Britney and Lindsay, you really should check it out…because Paris Hilton is ROCK BOTTOM. Yours in gossip, Lainey

Gwyneth ain’t no Britney, gives advice to Lindsay

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So she’s being introduced at that reading event yesterday at Sundance and the kids were like: is that Britney Spears? As expected, my girl gracefully took it in stride and promised to work on her dance steps before launching into a song from Oliver! and pulling out Apple’s favourite Seuss. By the end of it, the kids were clamouring to sit on her lap – People Magazine was conveniently there of course – but not before she extolled the virtues of reading: "If we can"t read and don"t enjoy it, life isn"t as interesting. Full Story

Keira Knightley: a protesting jaw?

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Uhhhh… NOT sweet. And yes, I get it that celebrities can’t always looked glammed up the ass every day. But that jaw? That jaw scares me. That is what I call a Bulimic Jaw – my girlfriend Beth, a doctor, can attest to that kind of jaw: jutting out at the corners as a result of too much heaving…though of course, let’s clarify in light of her lawsuit that the mere suggestion of an eating disorder on her part is absolutely absurd right??? After all, those photos of her on the beach a couple of weeks ago, cut abs, not an ounce of fat – those photos are simply the result of working out, eating well, and TOTALLY NOT torturing her own body, right? How could anyone even suggest such a thing??? But that’s exactly what a British rag did at the time, which has resulted in her suing for damages, because NO ONE, NO ONE other than the editors of said publication would, in their right mind, be so Cruise to assume that she’s anorexic, right??? Here’s Keira, in London with her equally overnourished boyfriend, cutting a fine line with their cheekbones, their hippy chic, and of course their love of food. Full Story

The Daily Classic Quiveration: Brad Pitt

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It has been a while…and the rubber face at the Globes didn’t help either. But here’s a candid we can all quiver over – Brad in NOLA picking up Maddox from school, Angie playing perfect mommy as well. As you know, the First Family has now settled in New Orleans, I’m told Maddox is now thriving in a regular schedule, parents at the immersion school were sent letters a few weeks ago, informing them of the arrival of the Pitts and new security measures that were instituted in preparation, resulting in a change of entrance and exit routes for students in and out of the facilities. Full Story

Rachel McAdams: Pink in Paris

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Also at the Armani show rockin’ a darker, different look. Pink hair swept up, smoky eyes, paler than usual…is your smutty sense tingling? Mine is – stay tuned, will update you as soon as I can. As for what she’s doing in Paris, rabid McGoslings are no doubt already aware, she’ll be appearing in haute couture for an upcoming spread in Elle to be shot immediately after Fashion Week and released around the same time, at this point anyway, as her upcoming movie Marriage co-starring Pierce Brosnan. Full Story

The Daily Gorgessity: My Gwyneth at Sundance

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

UPDATE: Some of you have written to say that baby is NOT Moses. Evidently because of the pink shoes. Regardless - given that it might not be her child - doesn"t that make her expression that much more...entertaining? Regularly scheduled progamming below... When my eTalk producer Laura told me we’d be leaving on Monday, I begged her…I begged her to stay just a little longer, just for Gwynnie, just for my best friend and her baby Moses. Full Story

Basic Communication with Jessica Simpson

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m relieved today that I’m not a fan of John Mayer. To those of you who are, I send you my deepest condolences and sympathise with your disappointment. Because any which way you cut it, John Mayer looks bad. And for a dude with a solid fan base, with a sense of humour, who appeared to have some intelligence, John Mayer doesn’t only look bad…he actually looks WORSE. Full Story

Old Lady Katie: Day 3 in Paris

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Arriving at the Georgio Armani show last night and let me remind you: this girl is only 28. But for some reason, Katie Holmes can’t help raiding Nancy Reagan’s closet… WTF??? Interesting what she has on underneath though – looks to be a pair of Spanx, made famous by my Gwynnie (who else???) after Apple was born when she revealed that her quick post-pregnancy slimdown had less to do with losing weight than with slapping on 2 Spanx at the same time for extra tummy control and a superlifted ass. Full Story

Kiki & The Clones

January 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well… you can’t say she doesn’t have a type: Andy Samberg, Adam Brody, now Fabrizio Moretti – fresh off his split from Drew Barrymore – and Adrian Grenier too, side by side in a line up turned around… you really can’t tell them apart. But the way Us Weekly is making it sound, my Kiki is desperate – or in their words…”lonely”. Full Story

Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Dear Gossips, Finally Wednesday. My favourite day. Wednesday = Friday Night Lights = Heaven. As for those of you who still aren’t watching because you don’t dig football - it’s not about football. It’s about relationships, it’s about high school teenagers, and it’s about Hotness. Please watch. You won’t be sorry. Wednesday – live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts, and scroll down for late posts from yesterday including Sienna Miller at Burger King. Yours in gossip