Best Breasts: Helen Mirren

January 16, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 16, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At 62 with breasts like these? As my cousin Dexy said tonight – it’s dirty but it’s dirty dirty good. And now she’s just toying with us, isn’t she? The best answer to Paris Hilton and the blonde Hollywood vacuum, to the incessant worship of youth and illusion – of all the young bimbos farting around Hollywood, who can hold a candle to the magnificent Helen Mirren? Certainly not Paris Hilton. Full Story

Worst Old: Renee Zellweger

January 16, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 16, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not even 40 but it’s like she creaks when she walks – do you hear it? Don’t get me wrong…the green is lovely, the dress is lovely, the shoes even more so but with the matron hair and the lemon pucker and the odd orange tint of her skin, it’s as though Renee has suddenly aged 20 years and at the same time, turned into Nicole Kidman. Full Story

Best Black: Cate Blanchett

January 16, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 16, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Another original Cate – this time courtesy of McQueen…I think. On anyone else a total disaster, on Cate Blanchett totally glorious. Unsafe, unconventional, totally modern, especially in the small details: hair unstyled, sparely accessorised, very little makeup – you don’t have to like it, most of you probably hate it, but you can’t deny that she owns it…and isn’t that the essence of style? Full Story

Worst Black: Penelope Cruz

January 16, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 16, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Such a letdown…perhaps the worst of the evening, like Scarlett O’Hara at a funeral, and I still don’t understand why she keeps going back to the pouf. The first time it was alright. The second less so. The third was just insulting and now it’s just plain lazy. This is hair for Jennifer Love Hewitt. Full Story

Most Surprising: Eva Longoria

January 16, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 16, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No…she wasn’t a standout either way, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, is it? Like SJP before her, Eva was content to be adequate, to know her place, to resist the urge to reach beyond her station or camera-hog at every opportunity and irritate the free smutting world in the process. Believe it or not gossips…for the first time in a long time, Eva was rather chill. Full Story

Monday, January 15, 2007
Dear Gossips, Home now and hang on tight…it’s shaping up to be a killer few weeks. Globes tonight, Sundance kicks off Thursday, Oscar nominations announced next Tuesday, followed by the SAGs, Grammys, and BAFTAs in quick succession leading up to the Big Show on Feb 25. Smut season in full bloom – be ready! Back in Vancouver, trying to resettle, and have to vent – my PVR/TiVo box screwed up my recordings and I MISSED last week’s all new episode of Friday Night Lights! Huge tragedy, have not recovered, thank Goddess for Television Without Pity - sometimes reading is actually better than watching, though if you STILL haven’t been watching…what are you waiting for? FNL is the PERFECT show – for girls, for boys, and everything in between. As for Jake Gyllenhaal hosting Saturday Night Live…just as entertaining as JT a few weeks before, so much so that there was a Quiver. Not for long, not throughout, but a Quiver nonetheless, EXCEPT for the overjuiced pipes resulting in a little bit of a pinhead and perhaps the one obstacle – aside from the obvious – to his inclusion on the Freebie Five…more on Jakey later. Monday – live blogging throughout the day, check back often for fresh posts, keep scrolling down for old posts you may have missed. Heads up also for Tuesday: full GG wrap up including red carpet commentary and smutty roundup from the afterparties. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. Last week, a full week and I’m proud to say – no posts on Britney or Paris. So what have you missed? Absolutely nothing. Out every night with a new man who looks like KFed, trips to Vegas, photo opp with one child, a new dog to abuse…same old, same old, am bored already, am gunning for another week of Britney-less smutting. Stay tuned…

Single Reese: Red & Fringed

January 15, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At the LA Film Critics Awards last night. Not feeling the fringe but all over the red, and if this is just a taste of tonight at the Globes, single Reese will absolutely rock that carpet – perhaps the most eligible lady of the night? Well…only if she doesn’t don the Mamma Matron Look like last year. Full Story

Beckham the Thespian?

January 15, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Source So says Georgio Armani who might not have a bitchbeating fan like Karl Lagerfeld but who clearly has an opinion about the most random subjects. Armani says that if Becks did indeed accept a $250 million deal then he absolutely did the right thing…especially with his good looks and quivering body, acting is definitely a viable post-football career. Full Story

Entertainment Weekly’s Courageous Cover

January 15, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Source At a time when most glossies are graced with emaciated starlets under 25, how hot is it that EW chose to go with 3 middle-aged goddesses at the top of their game? As Maybe Gaybe Wentie would say: Brava, EW. Brava, brava, brava. Full Story

Naomi Watts: The Kidman Alternative

January 15, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At the Penfolds Australia event the other day in LA and NOT Down Under as reported earlier re: Isla Fisher - thanks to the kind reader who alerted me, am writing remotely so I don’t have your email handy. Big fan of Naomi though not of the dress – for someone with such a killer body it’s a bit shapeless, don’t you think? And of course, given her long relationship with Liev Shreiber, the pregnancy rumours will no doubt mount yet again, as they did last year at the Oscars when she wore a potato sack and was excused for the frump by speculation of baby anticipation which, needless to say, never panned out…just like her good friend Nicole who seems to encourage the gossip about a child on a monthly basis. Full Story

The Queen & The Clive

January 15, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Source New stills from The Golden Age, featuring the incomparable Cate Blanchett’s reprisal of her breakthrough role and the piece of loin quivering hotness known as Clive Owen. Is she magnificent or what? And is he worthy of your headboard or what? Full Story