No Looking, No Talking, No Breathing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2008 09:33:36 February 26, 2008 09:33:36

Diva antics are rather pedestrian these days so it takes a super bitch and her ass attitude to really push the envelope. A photo shoot with a major artist. Much is riding on her new project. Everyone is busting their balls to make her look good. But it’s hard with these instructions: Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, and … don’t even breathe in her direction. Full Story

Oscar Thanks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2008 09:22:03 February 26, 2008 09:22:03

Skip to the next if you can’t stand it but it would be criminal not to thank those who helped make Oscar weekend so amazing. Here’s Dylan being Dylan posing with Oscar in his tux. Note – at the Oscars, EVERYONE has to dress up. Camera crew, assistants, technicians, anyone with access to the carpet for whatever reason has to get dolled up. Full Story

Best Oscar Man: Javier Bardem

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2008 07:22:00 February 26, 2008 07:22:00

He is a giant of a man. So tall, so sexy, so strong, so… MAN. We watched him stalking the carpet, full of nervous energy but chill at the same time. We watched him pose at the photo wall – something about the way he planted his legs firmly on the spot… it was like a challenge to photographers: hurry up, I don’t have time for this, there are many women I need to make love to. Full Story

Best Oscar Dress: Marion Cotillard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2008 07:17:00 February 26, 2008 07:17:00

There was no dress last night as exquisite as hers. Not a dress for everyone, but for a French girl, with inimitable French style, wearing French couture, and charming everyone in the auditorium, it was perfect. Jack Nicholson apparently couldn’t get enough of her. At one point he was overhead cracking: Now why couldn’t I present Best Actress? Unanimous agreement – my Marion was one of the highlights of a rather dull show. Full Story

Best Oscar Porn: Johnny & Vanessa

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2008 07:11:00 February 26, 2008 07:11:00

Hers was my favourite black dress – beautifully constructed, up close you could see the gathers, and the way it fit around her waist was amazing. It was the first time I’d seen them together… was well worth the wait. Between Johnny and Vanessa, it’s not really porn like Pitt Porn - the kind of porn that causes a hush along a press line, or the kind of porn that makes evened seasoned journalists giddy – but rather a sweetness that affirms it is possible to find something authentic in a town that is for the most part so full of sh*t. Full Story

Worst Oscar Breasts: Jennifer Hudson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2008 07:05:00 February 26, 2008 07:05:00

In photos they actually don’t look so droopy. In person however and on tv too they looked like a burden, like the weight of a hundred sandbags ready to collapse. Is Andre Leon Talley to blame for this one too? Poor thing had to wear a space station bolero last year, remember? A shame, really, because Jennifer Hudson is just so delicious it’s unfortunate the people around her have ass for style. Full Story

Monday, February 25, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Marion!!! My Marion!!! Would you believe she sang in the press room? A journalist asked her to choose a Piaf song that best reflected her emotions. She serenaded us with Padam Padam…

I love her. I love her as much as I love my Gwyneth. Maybe… maybe even more.

This was my second year and it doesn’t get old. The Oscars. Being right on the carpet and then being on the balcony watching the candid moments – like when George Takei from Star Trek and Heroes stepped on Anne Hathaway’s dress. Snort.

The Depps can deliver porn too…did you know? Classy Cruz, Javier rockin’ the man pose, and more delight from John Travolta…

Thoughts from the Academy Awards take over today’s column. Many, many posts on the way. Scroll down, click on VIEW MORE ARTICLES to get caught up. I also posted as promised on the weekend. Don"t miss!

And thank you SO much for all your messages and kind words about watching us on eTalk. It was a high pressure situation. Live TV, all across Canada - reading your encouragement means the world. Your support is the reason I’m here. Thank you, love you, owe you.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. So much smut from Saturday night too. Like the Night Before Oscar Party at the Beverly Hills Hotel where I saw Tilda Swinton and fell in love. More on that later.

PPS. John Krasinski and Rashida Jones? STILL together. Saw it with my own eyes. Details to follow.

PPPS. Sorry about typos? It’s an all nighter!

Worst Oscar Dirty Face: Katherine Heigl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 25, 2008 00:00:00 February 25, 2008 00:00:00

The dress was gorgeous. And from the neck down, she looked gorgeous in it. But someone got a case of Dirty Face and it erupted at the worst time, screwing up an otherwise lovely homage to old Hollywood. Same could not be said however of what happened on stage. What happened on stage is that Heigl needs to SIT THE F&CK DOWN. Full Story

Best Oscar True: Diablo Cody

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 25, 2008 12:06:25 February 25, 2008 12:06:25

Everyone knows her story by now: Diablo Cody, now an Oscar winning screenwriter used to be a stripper. Google the rest of you need to. The point is…Diablo Cody is far from conventional Oscar. And she never will be. So why would you want her to put on an Escada and get her hair all blown out? LOVE what she decided to wear. Full Story

About Once

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 25, 2008 11:37:15 February 25, 2008 11:37:15

In response to many of your emails today about Once’s big win over Enchanted last night – we were squealing in the press room. If you’ve seen it, you obviously know why. But this has now become my biggest fear – love a celebrity, or a film, or a song, only to lose that affection just a little (or sometimes a lot in the case of Joaquin Phoenix Full Story

Worst Matching Hairlines: John Travolta & The Rock

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 25, 2008 00:00:00 February 25, 2008 00:00:00

It makes me crazy that we are in the minority, you know? In the minority of those who know. Who know about the Pilot Gay. Who know about popping tents during massage therapy. Who can smell the Mo in him through a photo on a computer. Who look at the spray paint in his hair and shudder from revulsion. Full Story