Jessica & John: bedside to Barneys

January 2, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 2, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As I reported exclusively before Christmas, there is only one face on Jessica Simpson’s Louisiana nightstand … and it belongs to John Mayer. Holiday hiatus, Jessie spent time in LA with her GFF Ken Paves, and then headed over to NYC where she and John spent time browsing through Barneys, conveniently captured on camera. Full Story

Nicole & Joel: Silver, Skulls, and Tattoos

January 2, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 2, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Love it. Whatever it is that they have, however dirty, however f*cked, in spite of the fact that he seems to be attracted to 12 year old androgens, something about Nicole Richie and Joel Madden makes sense. First clear photos of their new togetherness in Vegas, she looking pretty and happy and a smidge further away from death than she has in the past, he looking much more relaxed than he ever did with the nauseating not to mention artificially wholesome Hilary Duff - just because you don’t get pulled over on the freeway, doesn’t mean you don’t “blow happy”…you get my drift? As for Nicole … the silver dress might be kinda cheap but it’s also rather flattering, non? And is it just me or is her back surprisingly less boney than you’d think? Quick observation though - you know I can’t resist a conspiracy theory. Full Story

Christina Aguilera: NYE Downsize?

January 2, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 2, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Body looks amazing, a bit too cake on the face but overall…Christina rang in 07 in fabulous fashion. And more proportionate too? If I recall correctly, the tits were rather Posh Beckham before. See attached circa September 2005 and compare to these pics from NYE celebrations – breasts in moderation, much more “believable” and decidedly improved. Full Story

Lilo’s NYE:Pink and Bloated accompanied by Hermy?

January 2, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 2, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This recent “water bottle holding” totally cracks me up. So she says she drying out, right? Even though she keeps underage clubbing, right? And so the only LOGICAL thing to do in these situations is to walk around accessorized by non-alcoholic beverage containers prominently on display, just in case we suspect anything untoward, because everyone knows that anyone with a drinking problem, who has committed to regular AA meetings, who hangs out on the bar scene night in and night out need only clutch a bottle of Evian to convince us that she’s able to abstain, right? Bitch…please. Full Story

Mandy & Wilmer Redux?

January 2, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 2, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pre-Lilo, pre-Andy, pre-Zach, pre-blog, Mandy and Wilmer were lowkey sweethearts. Her first love, her not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman relationship, he says he took her flower but that it wasn’t “apple pie”, and she took the high road and refused to engage. Well apparently Wilmer has made it all better. Full Story

Ryan & Alanis: Christmas in Vancouver

January 2, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 2, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Exclusive update: they were together over the holidays, in Vancouver, stopped by Cupcakes on Denman the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Alanis is apparently very attractive in person, bundled up in a brown beret and a puffy coat, alongside the loin quiverating Ryan Reynolds sporting a more closely trimmed beard. Full Story

Thursday, December 28, 2006
Dear Gossips, Trapped in a remote cabin with in-laws and screaming nephews and nieces, no wireless, no cell service – can’t believe we made it out alive... but just barely. And despite the absence, doesn’t look like much has changed – Rosie and Donald bitchfight continues, Paris Hilton whoring herself to some foolish Australian beer company willing to fork out nearly a million dollars in exchange for her pimping services, and Lindsay Lohan tearing off her clothes on stage at Scores …other than that, all scandals appear to be reserved for the New Year. After all, why bother when only half the world is paying attention? Still…there were a few highlights and a couple of gloat-worthy moments too. Consider yourself warned: it’s never terribly classy and of course it’s bad bad form, especially at this time of year, but I love it when my sources are right. As such, heed the warning: gloating ahead. Thursday – live blogging, catching up on what was, getting briefed on what will be, check back often for new posts. Hope you had a lovely, lovely Holiday… Yours, Lainey PS. Digits on the Run is NOT Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Same origins,different directions. It’s also not Heath Ledger. He blows…but not c*ck.

Another Pageant Scandal, More Pageant Sluts

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hot Tip just in! Katie Rees, Miss Nevada USA, making headlines for lewd behaviour (as illustrated), resulting in her getting dethroned without benefit of a Trump Pardon...I"ve just heard that there are new allegations that will be surfacing imminently that make these photos look tame by comparison. Full Story

Rachel & Bing?

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Most random rumour of the week: Steve Bing, father of Liz Hurley’s little Damien, the same loser who accused her of slutting and refused to acknowledge parental claims without a paternity test even though they were CLEARLY together, and yes, the same billionaire tool who couldn’t make it work with Nicole Kidman and Brooke Burns, now apparently wants to add Jennifer Aniston onto his belt notch. Full Story

The Daily Gloat: the Pitts in Costa Rica

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Warning, gloating, STOP READING NOW if it doesn’t please you. Christmas Day, new photos of the Parents Pitt in Costa Rica gifting the privilege of their presence to Columbian refugees, drawing attention to the “the greatest humanitarian tragedy in the Western Hemisphere”. Costa Rica. Sound familiar? I’ll keep it to a minimum but as I reported exclusively way back on November 6th Full Story

Tara Reid: Un-Fixable Ghetto

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As much as we try to observe those Buddha on the Mountain, Lotus-leaf-and-meditation Oprah moments, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that while it’s NEVER OK to die for it or suffer or hurt yourself or to be insensible, some if not most of us would like to be thin, to have a nice body. Hell, when you think about it, Oprah is the frickin’ poster girl for wanting a body that has eluded her for years and if you ask me, all that bullsh-t about loving yourself as the first step to losing weight is really just a smokescreen for pure plain Vanity – and hey, ain’t nothing wrong with being Vain, so long as you own it, you know? Better that than hiding it behind a yoga pose waxing wise about Inner Beauty. Full Story