Friday, November 23, 2007

Dear Gossips,

How could you?

My Gwyneth is absolutely NOT Cheap & Crafty. Please! Gwynnie is the queen of thank you notes: at the tender age of 3, Apple Martin already has her own monogrammed stationary so no, no, no…my Gwyneth would never stinge out her staff. She would however do the complete and nauseating opposite. Which would be to tip and treat them so well and throw it back into the faces of all her friends who can’t match her generosity. This is how Gwyneth makes people feel small, like don’t you know?

C&C is also not Hilary Swank who has no children and despite coldly selling out her ex-husband is actually known to be quite lovely to the small people, having been one herself not too long ago, though if I have to hear that story about living in her mother’s car one more time…

It’s Friday! Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Happy Birthday Steph P from your girls! Here’s to a wild, wild Friday night!

PPS. And to Emily on your 27th – my best wishes for a banner year.

PPPS. For Jenny Ryan from Saskatoon, recently crowned the "Canada Writes" 2007 Champion – CONGRATULATIONS! What an extraordinary achievement. I am yours in admiration, Lainey

More Real than the Real Thing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2007 11:21:23 November 23, 2007 11:21:23

Alison Jackson is a pop culture photographer with a new book called Confidential featuring a collection of her celebrity photos. Faux photos. But some are so incredibly real you really wouldn’t know the difference. Even more, they are not only “real” aesthetically, they also capture the spirit of the subjects. Full Story

Screen Love to Real Love

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2007 00:00:00 November 23, 2007 00:00:00

If you haven’t already, you must must must see La Vie en Rose. My earlier review can be found here. Marion Cotillard’s portrayal of Edith Piaf is nothing short of genius. And if she doesn’t receive an Oscar nomination, it will be a f&cking travesty. Full Story

Hawaiian Thanksgiving

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2007 00:00:00 November 23, 2007 00:00:00

Newlywed Kate Walsh and husband spent the holiday in Hawaii frolicking in the water. Having met her in person, twice, I can tell you she is even lovelier in person – more engaging, with more sparkle, and sexier, less harsh in the face, and the longest craziest legs. And Kate’s like George Clooney in a way – fame found her late so really isn’t a f&ck up. Full Story

They Don’t Believe Granny Freeze

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2007 08:55:40 November 23, 2007 08:55:40

Shocking! Australia’s princess getting called out in an Australian paper on her hypocrisy? Love them Aussies. As you know, Nicole is currently embroiled in a courtroom battle in a case against some paparazzo she claims has been endangering her life. As someone who craves privacy, pap intrusion is of course deeply upsetting. Full Story

Witherspoon Thanksgiving

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2007 08:32:17 November 23, 2007 08:32:17

Where was she? A source tells me she spent Thanksgiving yesterday at her uncle’s in Brentwood, TN– at one point seen running through the leaves outside with her children. Cute! And no Jakey in sight. But I’m sure you know now about their romantic getaway to Napa recently and while they were spotted by paps for about an hour one day, the two spent the rest of their time relatively undisturbed. Full Story

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Dear Gossips,

So I saw August Rush last night. Had they released the film at any other time of year, the corny sentimentality would have been intolerable. INTOLERABLE. But it’s 4 weeks to Christmas and the ice blue crystal lights lining the sidewalks are irresistible and people are still nice to each other in the shoppes and I haven’t seen my parents in two months and I miss them and Freddie Highmore is so endearing and (for me at least) for the first time, Jonathan Rhys Myers, who doesn’t have cracked out bug eyes, provides massive quiveration – he is gorgeous – so suffice to say, unlike Enchanted, which is enchanting at any time of year, August Rush is the kind of implausible sweet that can only be swallowed during the small window between US Thanksgiving and Boxing Day after which it just becomes absolute sh*t.

Let it be known however Emmy Rossum’s kind of sweet can never be swallowed any time under any circumstances.

By the way, did you know JRM dated Toni Collette??? In this movie, he really is sublime. And not androgynous at all.

Thursday, live blogging, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Salma Hayek is not Cheap & Crafty. Besides, she’s not married yet, is she? Also not Sarah Jessica Parker who IS cheap and crafty and golden in a way but not with the biggest prize. And that pointless new Sex & the City movie isn’t getting her there either.

PPS. Robin Williams imitating Bono will make you itch.

Read Between The Lines

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 22, 2007 14:28:59 November 22, 2007 14:28:59

Joaquin Phoenix on why he’s not interested in Hollywood socialising: "As I recall, MICHELANGELO was not particularly social. I don"t think JOHN LENNON was particularly social either." So…what’s he tryin’ to say? Michelangelo, John Lennon… Joaquin Phoenix? source Full Story

GMD Thanksgiving

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 22, 2007 00:00:00 November 22, 2007 00:00:00

Gallery of the Absurd has done it again. Here’s her interpretation of how Xenu gives thanks. Looking at the little Gay Midget Dwarf in his little pilgrim suit nearly killed me. You will lose your sh*t.  Full Story

Matching Foundation Finally Found?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 22, 2007 11:55:54 November 22, 2007 11:55:54

Renee’s face skin finally matches her neck skin. Has Harper’s managed to find her the right shade of foundation… or is the work of a brilliant photoshoppe artist? I’m thinkin’ door #2. But no matter… The point is the magazine has succeeded in making her look lovely and decidedly UNpeeled which is a far cry from how close her skin was to snapping at the Bee Movie premiere just three weeks ago – click here for a refresher Full Story

View All 10 Photos

On Pene, On Javier, On McConaughey

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 22, 2007 10:53:04 November 22, 2007 10:53:04

Love the clashing red and pink tights. Not crazy about her expression – does she look constipated? And the weird cutting out of her head…it’s unnatural. And cheap. I just called Anna Wintour cheap. Room temperature has just plummeted. As for Pene – still hot and heavy with Javier Bardem who most of you insist is NOT gay. Full Story