Tara Reid: Un-Fixable Ghetto

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As much as we try to observe those Buddha on the Mountain, Lotus-leaf-and-meditation Oprah moments, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that while it’s NEVER OK to die for it or suffer or hurt yourself or to be insensible, some if not most of us would like to be thin, to have a nice body. Hell, when you think about it, Oprah is the frickin’ poster girl for wanting a body that has eluded her for years and if you ask me, all that bullsh-t about loving yourself as the first step to losing weight is really just a smokescreen for pure plain Vanity – and hey, ain’t nothing wrong with being Vain, so long as you own it, you know? Better that than hiding it behind a yoga pose waxing wise about Inner Beauty. Full Story

Posh: my appetite is as real as my tits

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And this is why I love Victoria Beckham. Because few bitches are as amusingly absurd at times and genuinely endearing at others. Genuinely endearing examples include Victoria on video - see the Ali G appearance from 2002 and the Beckhams’ World Cup Party this year via YouTube for reference – and Victoria on the rare occasion when she’s smiling…it’s adorable. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: Un-Fixable Tranny

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Amazingly enough, not all celebrities are born perfect like my Gwyneth. Some have assy hair, some have assy skin, some have assy asses, some like Katie Holmes have assy legs and some have assy legs and look like trannies, no matter how much they try to divert the attention away from the herm with their overly plumped c*cksucking lips. Full Story

90210 Forever

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s because I’ve just consumed my bodyweight in turkey and delicious Polish homecooking, maybe it’s because I long for the days when my ass could dance on command and speak several languages, but one look at this photo, taken just yesterday in Beverly Hills, and it feels like it’s 1990 all over again. Full Story

Michelle Williams: THAT girl?

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A week before Christmas, largely unnoticed by international media, Michelle and Heath were back in Australia for his father’s wedding. Here are a few photos – as you can see, Michelle looks lovely…very, very, very thin, but lovely all the same. Lovely … in white. It happens at every wedding, doesn’t it? Some girl, not the bride, inevitably shows up wearing white, and then we all look at each other and roll our eyes and whisper after the ceremony – like, um, didn’t she have anything else to wear??? And yes, obviously it’s absolutely acceptable in certain situations. Full Story

The Daily Rossum: Junior re-proposes

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tori Spelling and KFed Jr are apparently concerned that you and I will forget that they are married…and expecting a baby. Even though there are cameras chronicling every fetal movement, every pre-labour shopping spree, every tasteless purchase at her tasteless estate auction, somehow they’ve found yet another opportunity to remind us that a baby is on the way. Full Story

Keith Urban: summoned to Australia

December 28, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 28, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You might be sick of my tagline but even the most amateur of gossips, the most hardcore of Nicole believers has to concede at this point that this recent well timed photo opp, in Australia no less, is much more Conspiracy than it is Coincidence. Especially since some flooze decided to blow the top off of her long term relationship with Keith, complete with illustrations and suggestive photos, to expose the fraud that is the Kidman/Urban marriage. Full Story

Friday, December 22, 2006
Bitch…please. This is not about Dolly. This is not about anyone other than Jessica being too lazy and too stupid and too busy pleasuring herself to bother preparing for a commitment. You know what you call that in the real world? You call that a lack of Work Ethic. But of course in Hollywood it’s deemed RESPECT. Give me a f-cking break. And on that happy note! It’s Friday, the Friday before Christmas. My smutty love and apprecation for supporting the site. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, all the best! Thank you, love you, owe you. Yours in gossip, Lainey

A Very Gwyneth Christmas

December 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Said it before and I’ll say it again - I know y’all don’t like her hair but I love her hair. I like it unkempt and untrimmed. I like it when the ends aren’t even. I hate my own ends to be even…to the point where I nag at my stylist to make sure they’re not even. Sometimes polish isn’t necessarily perfect, you know. Full Story

A Very Sparrow Christmas

December 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s widely known that Johnny Depp based his performance as Jack Sparrow on Keith Richards. And so he was suitably thrilled when Keith agreed to sign on as Captain Jack’s father in the 3rd installment of Pirates – first photo attached. Scary thing is – I can’t really tell if Keith is wearing any makeup. Full Story