The Daily Dry Heave

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 19, 2007 12:00:00 April 19, 2007 12:00:00

    If you can hold it back after this – I salute you. The movie is Suburban Girl…godawful title, init? Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, chick flick based on Chick Lit, adapted from one of the stories in Melissa Bank’s The Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing - the rights for which, as I understand it, are actually owned by Francis Ford Coppola and Sofia Coppola which is why Suburban Girl was renamed Suburban Girl. Full Story

The Daily Bitch … Please

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 19, 2007 12:00:00 April 19, 2007 12:00:00

Just admit it already!!! Ashlee Simpson in Harper’s Bazaar looking wonderful, if not a little plastic and totally unremarkable. But that’s what happens when you change your nose so that you blend in with everyone else. Generically pretty is the new Ashlee Simpson. Well done. Thing is, I like the nose. Full Story

Lilo: MySpace Secrets?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 19, 2007 12:00:00 April 19, 2007 12:00:00

Someone is claiming to have hacked into her MySpace, posting a series of email exchanges with Greek Stav, Samantha Ronson, Shanna Moakler, and Paris Hilton and other girlfriends. The ones between her and Stav mainly consist of “F&ck you’s” back and forth. Her messages to girlfriends are playful but still profane. Full Story

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dear Gossips,

We were watching the hockey game last night. My husband’s team was protecting a one goal lead, the opposition had pulled their goaltender, and an inexperienced young player for the good side went for the empty net a bit too hastily, prompting this to fly out of my husband’s mouth:

“F*ck Burrows! Relax! Quit blowing yer load before her panties come off!”

Crude, yes. But a brilliant analogy nonetheless. Once in a while, you actually can learn from someone who was raised in a smelly locker-room. And on that classy note, how about the blind item that appeared in Gatecrasher this morning?
“Which blond bombshell, on a recent visit to Rome, became ill and soiled her bedsheets so badly that the hotel mattress had to be replaced? Also, “she and [her boyfriend] have a reputation for really dirty sex," says a snitch.”

Hmmm…

If memory serves, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer vacationed together in Italy not too long ago, yes? And she had the flu one day, didn’t she? Which is why he ventured out alone with his camera? And does peeing on someone count as dirty?

Just asking.

Today is Wednesday, live blogging all day, check back often for fresh posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

My Kind of PDA

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Feel like a schoolgirl right now but I can’t help it. And this is why paparazzi video is so dangerous. Because with the right subject, serious swooning can ensue. It’s no secret, the fact that the Beckhams can’t keep their hands off each other. Some say it’s calculated image making, every move rehearsed and choreographed for the public. Full Story

This is How Pt 2

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Cate Blanchett at the IWC Davinci launch party last night.  Not everyone, I know.... But Cate is not everyone.  Full Story

Can’t Let Go

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

I’m sorry…I can’t. I can’t get over it. And this is a better shot - full body, so you can see more of the Jessica Simpson eye rapage. What I’m beginning to appreciate more and more are those pockets. As if it wasn’t bad enough that her pants are hiked up to her tits and the waist band is FOLDING OVER, she had to add 2 koala style pouches on each hip, just in case you weren’t fixated enough on that region. Full Story

Agree or Disagree?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Michael Buble has a new album to sell. And since he’s a corny crooner, he’s waxing on love and loss in the pages of the new Hello Canada, referencing his ex Debbie Timuss and current Emily Blunt. The way Michael tells it, he and Debbie split amicably. Full Story

This is How Pt 1

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Not that any amount of surgery or martian intervention could changes things and of course, Jessica Simpson is not even the smallest fraction of what Kate Winslet is but still… both by Hollywood standards are not stick insects, both have curves, both have bodies that are probably hated by Anna Wintour and in spite of all that, few can come close to the gorgessity of Kate Winslet. Full Story

The Best…or The Lame?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

I say Lame. Avril Lavigne’s new album is called The Best Damn Thing, launch party was last night, but check out the photos and you tell me… is it really? Is it really The Best Damn Thing? Yeah so I know she’s trying to be irreverent and it’s, like, so funny. And it’s, like, so cool. Full Story