Sienna Miller: Naked on Top

January 8, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

CAUTION: NOT SAFE FOR WORK UK Daily Mirror scans from Factory Girl with Hayden Christensen – as I reported exclusively a few weeks ago, this scene was shot in Toronto in November, with major drama on set between the two leads. Hayden’s character is based on Bob Dylan, this is a love scene that takes place in what is supposed to be Dylan’s cabin. Full Story

Nick Lachey’s Good Year

January 8, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Also at the GM gala this weekend and what a difference 12 months makes. Do you remember the same event last year? On the heels of his separation, Jessica had been linked to everyone from Jude Law to Johnny Knoxville to Adam Levine, and both Adam AND Nick show up at the venue…it was totally awkward, smutty reports flying left and right, Nick kept his head down and took the blows. Full Story

Quiver for the Jigga

January 8, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At the GM Style Show on Saturday. What is it about Jay Z? Definitely not empirically good looking….probably far from, in fact. And yet…there’s something, you know? It’s the way he looks in his clothes, I think. Jay Z has great clothes, better clothes perhaps than Puffy Diddy Daddy. And an air of something rather distinguished. Full Story

Brad Pitt: Travel-weary and Ashley Wilkes?

January 8, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ever read Gone With the Wind? Or seen the movie? The most frustrating part for me – I never, ever, ever understood how the precocious Scarlett O’Hara could delude herself into loving the limp and insipid Ashley Wilkes…which I suppose is the whole point but still, it drives me crazy to this day. And maybe that’s why I’ve never found men like “Ashley Wilkes” or Leslie Howard very attractive. Full Story

Lilo: The Incurable Dirty Face

January 8, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Celebrities really aren’t “just like us”, are they? Not only are they thinner and richer and much more beautiful, their bodies also convalesce with almost immortal speed. As evidenced by Lindsay Lohan, in the hospital for a day, reportedly for “appendicitis”, released within 24 hours, clubbing just minutes after that…and still, whatever she was in for, whatever she had trimmed – or pumped for that matter, given that she looks much worse for wear – whatever it was, it seems to have been cleared up and taken care of relatively quickly. Full Story

Cam & Pip: the Chinese sign of split

January 8, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 8, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Despite mounting evidence to the contrary, I’ve been a little gunshy on pronouncing the death of Cam and Justin Timberlake…especially since to date there has been nothing in the way of reliable official confirmation. Finally though…finally I believe. Finally there’s a telltale sign, an mistakable indication of separation I can totally put my faith in: not Scarlett’s delectable breasts or even Kate Hudson’s cute button bottom but something much more reliable, steeped in centuries of culture and tradition… It is the Green Hat. Full Story

Friday, January 5, 2007
Dear Gossips, Apparently no one is buying the Lilo appendicitis report, especially now that Page Six has revealed she was supposed to report for duty on the set of her new movie and just happened to fall ill yet again. Coincidence or conspiracy? Received a brilliant theory from Dodi in Denver yesterday, speculating below on the latest Lindsay hospitalization, attributing this visit to bloat reduction via lipo as opposed to the official publicist-sanctioned health scare: If Lindsay wanted to lose 10 pounds of unwanted bloat, how many liters would she need to have liposuctioned off? A litre weighs 34 fluid ounces (we’ll stick to fluid ounces here), and we all know that 16 ounces is one pound. If Lindsay, hypothetically of course, had all 5 litres lipo’d off at one time (because, as we’ve learned from Dr. 90210, you cannot lipo more than 5 liters off at one time), she’d loose 170 liquid ounces – or 10.63 pounds. So if she wanted to lose 10 pounds of bloat exactly, she’d need to lipo 2 litres off each thigh, and .94 litre from under her chin and jowl area. Put her on a liquid diet for her recovery and the possibilities are endless. Brilliant, non? Friday – live blogging, check back often, have a great weekend! Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. This is for Michele, up late with a new baby, catching up on smut while she’s breastfeeding: Digits is not Dominic Monaghan from Lost. No offence but you need someone MUCH MUCH MUCH better looking and running from something decidedly more tangible.

Saggy Ass Revealed!

January 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You thought Tori Spelling and Tara Reid, even Paris Hilton, but not surprisingly, no one guessed Kate Moss. Model perfection is so deceiving, non? And look - I’d trade my lumpy butt and every other body part for every one of hers any day, but still…it’s a little different without the airbrush/photoshoppe artistry, isn’t it? Even for arguably the most successful supermodel of all time, even she has what you have, even she has the folds and the dimples and the gravity-affected arse…just probably in a smaller package. Full Story

Gold: Tacky Trash for B, 3 Times Sweet for Canada!

January 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sorry non-Canadians, but like I said yesterday, we f&ckin’ own this game. Well done Juniors!!! And… Not well done Britney. Gold, gawdy, tits down to her ankles, all kinds ugly – pile on the disparaging adjectives, giddy’up, giv’er…she deserves it all. Oh and take a trip down memory lane too – three years ago, zit cream and ciggies. Full Story

The Daily Gorgessity: Lucy Liu

January 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At her movie premiere last night – unfortunately some straight-to-dvd project starring Cedric the Entertainer. Still…in sharp contrast to Bai Ling and her massage parlour antics… Lucy is a lovely Hollywood example for my people. Dress, shoes, makeup, hair, body, everything is total perfection… and unlike me, she rocks the Chinese wonky eye with wonderful aplomb. Full Story

Purple Posh Goes Shopping

January 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well…what else is new? Shopping in London wearing a motherhonkin’ huge emerald, concrete tits disappointingly concealed. Word is she and Becks were supposed to join the British crowd in Thailand over New Year’s but I’ve just heard a rumour that they were paid something crazy like $6 million to be in Japan instead. Full Story