The Daily Quiveration: Ralph Fiennes Naked Yoga

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 13, 2007 12:00:00 February 13, 2007 12:00:00

Scandal in Australia. A flight attendant is getting reprimanded by Qantas because her colleagues said she got it on with Ralph Fiennes in an airplane washroom while she says HE came on to her but she spurned his advanced. Page Six ran the story today, pretty tame all things considered, but the best best best detail came at the end of the article – a description of Ralph’s lothario past, including an account of how he wooed former a former girlfriend: Fiennes wooed Lewenden for eight weeks, employing various stratagems before he finally performed naked yoga for her in her Dublin apartment. Full Story

Posh & Becks: on 2 continents

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 13, 2007 12:00:00 February 13, 2007 12:00:00

They’ve been together more than they’ve been apart this year – six weeks of constant separation, save for a few stolen vacay days in France and perhaps a night or two to check in…Posh is hellbent on securing her Stateside status while David, well, David is supposed to be playing football. Right. Look at that hotness – in Madrid after having dinner with Jennifer Lopez and the Vampire, Becks is sporting a familiar pinched expression. Full Story

SJP: Dandy and her hands

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 13, 2007 12:00:00 February 13, 2007 12:00:00

Looking lovely at the Writer’s Guild event on Sunday night…if not a little gaunt. And that might as well be Sanford Blatch she’s married too, non? Obviously not Sanford, but don’t tell me Matthew isn’t as much of a Dandy…or more. From one faghag to another, you know it when you see it… And then her hands. Full Story

Britney: Puke & Bikinis

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 13, 2007 12:00:00 February 13, 2007 12:00:00

Wild, boozy evenings in NYC, looking worse than ever, stripping down to her skivvies just because, and so drunk off her skank ass she vomited all over her car… things can apparently always get worse. Which is actually kinda surprising. Not because there’s anything redeemable here but did you ever thing dumb Britney could be so strong-willed? Against the protests of her parents and her management and her record label and anyone else with half a brain, Britney Spears can’t stop and won’t stop. Full Story

Jennifer to Beyonce: the Vogue bitchslap

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 13, 2007 12:00:00 February 13, 2007 12:00:00

Jennifer Hudson on the cover of Vogue…Poor Beyonce must be chompin’ on her weave. Or maybe not. What would you prefer? Not making the cover of Vogue or making the cover of Vogue but looking like ass? Hmmm...tough call. Have a look - quite possibly one of the sh-ttiest photo shoots I’ve seen in a long, long time. Full Story

Cate in Berlin: two times flawless

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 13, 2007 12:00:00 February 13, 2007 12:00:00

Source Yesterday for Notes on a Scandal – press conference and premiere. Two different looks, both absolutely unparalleled, especially the blue. Now THIS is a dress. And this is also how you wear it. Sienna Miller would have been eaten alive in this dress, know what I mean? Can’t wait for Oscar carpet. Full Story

Monday, February 12, 2007
Dear Gossips, I am from Canada. I love Canada. And as much as you are true to your own country, I will always be true to mine. But Canada is missing one thing. Canada is missing… TARGET. Or Targé. I get weak for Targé, probably not something to be proud of but when I’m standing inside, looking at an entire wall of dog toys – the cutest dog toys – and later on a pair of camouflage leggings for $5.99…seriously, how can you go wrong? Big hug to dear, lovely Cathy for taking a Canadian shopping today in Ft Lauderdale. You’ve been supporting my smut forever…thank you, love you, owe you. More Floridian gratitude to come. Still in Ft Lauderdale, leaving on Tuesday…and is Forest Whitaker a sexy beast or what? Adorable on Saturday Night Live and Keith Urban wasn’t bad either, especially now that the highlights have been turned off and he did seem charmingly humble. I can now almost see his appeal which of course only underscores the overwhelming disappointment about The Freeze. Monday – double award coverage: the BAFTAs and the Grammys and rounding up the weekend. Live blogging, check back often, scroll down and click VIEW MORE ARTICLES for late Friday posts you may have missed. Several articles were updated in the afternoon. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. It’s a long, long, long column today. Please keep scrolling, keep clicking on VIEW MORE ARTICLES – otherwise you might miss a new riddle. PPS. I apologise for insulting your intelligence – just a reminder that real time blogging works in reverse chronological order, newer posts appear closer to the top. Sorry, just making sure…some folks are new to it.

The Death of Good Taste

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Norbit ruled the box office this weekend.   Norbit. Starring Eddie Murphy in a fat suit, mauled by critics, panned by insiders, and still somehow it climbed to the top of the movie mountain. Personal preference is paramount…absolutely. But seriously, doesn’t a film like Norbit, essentially the same recycled, rehashed garbage previously released as The Nutty Professor – doesn’t a film like this, all films like this, don’t they defy the standard difference of opinion and just qualify as pure, unadulterated SH-T??? And for that matter – who outside of white trash would actually consider THIS an elegant, classy wedding invitation??? …tha F&CK??? Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, supposedly it’s theirs. Full Story

The Daily Rossum: Jess & John after Grammy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Not a prom photo. Or the kind of shot that comes when you buy a new picture frame. This is Jessica Simpson gazing adoringly at John Mayer at the Sony/BMG party last night post-Grammys. As you can see, he is staring adoringly back. In fact, he’s not only staring, it actually looks like he’s leering. Full Story

The GMD & Katie: every party…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Gay Midget Dwarf, new party whore. Seriously…dude is EVERYWHERE. At the Globes, at the SAGs, at the Superbowl, at the Grammys, Tom Cruise is pounding the circuit for UA, and draggin’ that poor thing along with him…dragging being the operative word. Not that you can tell from one photo, a judgement based on one photo isn’t exactly reliable, but check out the contrast between his eager beaver grin and her tolerant smile – like she’s indulging a little kid who wants to stay at the pool for five more minutes. Full Story

Grammy Worst Dressed: Mandy Moore

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2007 12:00:00 February 12, 2007 12:00:00

Didn’t want to do this. Pained to do it but it has to be said: Mandy dropped the ball. Much as I love her, Mandy disappointed. Badly. And you know what Mandy? We get it. You were depressed. You were cheerful and optimistic and you finally met the Darkness. We get it. But please don’t be That Girl. Full Story