Pam & Kid: getting ugly

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As if a divorce isn’t nasty enough – now multiple outlets are reporting that Pam and Kid filed for divorce within minutes of each other, not content to just split but going one step further to try and claim first rights on who wanted the split to begin with…particularly ironic because GQ just named them Newlyweds of the Year, or something equally amusing. Full Story

The Trio Today

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just a quick update on the whereabouts of the Trash Trio – as of 1:00 p.m. PST Britney was back in Malibu with her family and Lindsay and Paris are TOGETHER at the Viceroy… quick closeness for two girls slinging c*nts and bruises around just hours ago! Meanwhile, new photos have surfaced of Britney and her new BFF from last night, wearing matching tees to go along with their matching ghetto weave and morphing personalities. Full Story

No PamRock, No Marriage

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

TMZ is breaking news that Pam Anderson has filed for divorce from Kid Rock just a few weeks after her much publicized miscarriage and the laptop incident with Denise Richards. Shocker? No. On many counts. If you’ve been reading my column, this should be no surprise – way back on November 13th I reported that Denise, in addition to attacking photographers and senior citizens, was also rumoured to be selling out Pam, telling her business to everyone, including her mother during a cell phone conversation when she was overheard blabbing that Pam’s marriage to Kid was in the sh-ts, that she regretted marrying him, and that Kid was actually more volatile than Tommy Lee. Full Story

Paris and Lindsay and the Britney sandwich

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You can’t make this sh-t up. Just one night after Lilo’s videotaped accusation of abuse against Paris Hilton and Paris’s publicist’s denial in response, all three tarts hooked up on Sunday night having temporarily buried whatever it was that came between them – c*nts and firecrotches included – all for the benefit of X17 cameras…of course. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: compromised by assy hair

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Page Six is reporting that the Miu Miu campaign landed by Lindsay Lohan was originally intended for Jessica Simpson…but for one rather large snafu – Ken Paves. Apparently she refused to be photographed without his styling and so the opportunity fell through, given that professional fashion shoots are the opposite of low classy which, quite obviously, is Ken’s trademarked specialty or, in the words of a Vanity Fair insider, “tacky, amateurish …(and) very "Texas pageant. Full Story

Heather Mills: Diary of a Pathological Liar

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

First he was unsympathetic to her disabilities, then he wouldn’t let her keep a bedpan, and he made her hop on one leg and crawl up the stairs, and he said she couldn’t breastfeed, and oh yes, he abused her too…but when all of those tall tales missed the mark, she then says he also abused his beloved first wife Linda…and now, now that we’ve virtually reached 100% unanimity AGAINST her, she’s claiming he’s a drunk, not only a drunk alone but a drunk when he’s with their infant daughter Bea which of course means he’s not fit for custody of the child, which of course means she’s more suitable, which of course means she should have an appropriately obscene financial settlement to reflect it. Full Story

Britney & Paris: Matching Weave, Matching Cooch

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If you must, X17 has the uncensored photo of Britney flashing her bald little Brit, a move largely attributed to Lindsay Lohan these days but if memory serves, circa 2004, Diddy’s party at Cipriani - it was Paris who pulled out her poon in a bold attempt to wrench back attention from Tara Reid whose top fell off exposing a badly scarred ghetto tit … see attached, not of Tara’s badly scarred ghetto tit but of Paris’s pink plumpy, perhaps the inaugural pink plumpy that hailed an era of pink plumpies to follow, the most recent of course being the pink plumpy belonging to Britney who has now joined the lippy fray, oh joy. Full Story

Lilo: courting and thwarting caught on tape!

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s been the same broken record lately: I don’t want the tabloid attention, I don’t want to be followed around, leave me alone, don’t photograph me, don’t photograph my Firecrotch, I just want to live my life in private, I JUST WANT TO ACT. Funny the reaction you get when you get what you wish for… Because there’s Lilo at Planet Blue in Malibu on Saturday afternoon, surrounded by the usual throng of pappies, pretending to be pissy about the intrusion…until all of a sudden, when they get word that Britney and Paris have arrived, they immediately bail for the bigger prize, leaving Lilo alone and not just a little shellshocked at being passed up for, let’s face it, a much more titillating photo opp. Full Story

The Alba Demon: Oyster Magic

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Friday night, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren in Vancouver, dining with her family at oyster house Joe Fortes, apparently making out hardcore, by all accounts in a very celebratory mood, maybe even a little inebriated, prompting some to wonder whether or not, given they’ve been househunting of late, they’re now engaged. Full Story

Nicole Kidman: The Beautiful Freeze at Happy Feet

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Fresh from a chemical peel no doubt, she does look remarkably……. Scrubbed…don’t you think? I don’t love the hair, nor do I love the office manager black slacks but I do love Nicole’s face, in spite of the injections and the Botox and Goddess knows whatever other treatments she’s subjected it to. Full Story

The Beckhams on the Sidelines

November 27, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 27, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Even I, the most shameless of Beckham cheerleaders, have to admit this is a little embarrassing: he spends more time in the glass box these days than he does on the pitch, and while the paycheque keeps rolling whether or not he actually plays, such images certainly do little for the glory of the Beckham brand, especially now that he’s no longer the stalwart captain of England football. Full Story