John Travolta: Oprah trumps Cruise?

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Love.It. TMZ is suggesting that our favourite flying-masseuse-propositioning-man-kissing Scientologist blew off the TomKat wedding because he’s taking sides with Oprah who, as we all know, was left OFF the invite list. John’s reps said they weren’t “privy” to the invite list – how snippy! – and then tried to massage the situation by saying they couldn’t get in touch with their client until after Thanksgiving…how convenient. Full Story

The Daily Obvious: KFed Jr.

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As if threatened by the tragic fate that has befallen the Original Federline, Junior seems hellbent on reminding the world at every photo opportunity that his wife is indeed carrying his seed – more appropriately known as the ticket to his riches, though if her dress is any indication, it doesn’t look like she’s any closer to cashing in on the Spelling fortune… Cheap. Full Story

TomKat Wedding: no invite required

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Why be a guest when they have blessed us by releasing a photo from every moment of the scientological occasion??? Family photos – Little Sci is going to kill me with cuteness, I swear – and Isabella and Connor and Armani too and Katie gettin’ down during the reception and the two lovebirds watching fireworks and eating cake… I mean really…so you’re telling me this WASN’T a publicity stunt? Because at this rate, I know more about THEIR wedding than I do about my own!!! Still, said it before and I’ll say it again: Katie Holmes is beyond beguiling – even when she’s drowning her sorrows in drink and hanging from a tie. Full Story

Izzy vs. Meredith

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sandra Oh is obviously the class of the show, followed in close succession by Chandra Wilson and Kate Walsh as the breathtaking Addison and of course, we all love Sara Ramirez (pronounced Sah-Dah, soft "d", almost a rolling R and D combination, as I learned when I interviewed her recently for eTalk), and even though it’s called GREY’s Anatomy, I gotta tell you that even the hysterical Izzy, whose storyline I abhorred last year, is preferable to whiny Meredith, in character and debatably in person – if that episode of Punk’d is to be considered. Full Story

Britney: the return of the abs

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was always her abs, wasn’t it? At one point she said she did 1,000 crunches a day…until the Cheeto Era brought out the trash. Thank Goddess, as we all know, KFed is gone and the hotness is back…especially around the midsection. Just 2 and a half months after JJ’s arrival, even the obliques have returned, and if she’s already THIS defined after 10 weeks, can you imagine how fit she’ll be by the time the album is expected to drop in the Spring? Damn-uh. Full Story

Lilo OD?

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The National Enquirer is owning the smut landscape these days, non? A new explosive report in their latest issue: Lindsay Lohan overdosed on coke and pills at the Chateau Marmont on November 12, her friend found her unconscious, called a doctor who discovered large quantities of blow and prescription drugs on the scene and after reviving her, strongly suggested she get into rehab which, of course, she refused…and now she’s hopped over to London to hang out with the contoured cheekbones of Kate Moss and Keira Knightley. Full Story

AMA Itchy: Nelly Furtado

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The dress, great. The body, even better. Makeup rocked too. But the fringe. Not the existence of it but the length. Made me itchy. My eyes were itchy just looking at her, I still feel itchy just thinking about it, and is that a good thing? To elicit a physiological irritation by simply standing there and showing off your hair? Again…maybe it’s just me. Full Story

AMA Wonky Eye: Ashlee Simpson

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s the new black, remember? And never one to ignore a trend, Ashlee has picked up her very own case of wonky eye, along with a little bit o’ rag doll…love it. Yes, she looks like an Olsen, yes the new nose could have been a prelude to a lot of new things acquired at the doctor, but since it can’t be reversed, why continue harping on a nose job that happened 6 months ago? I’m down with the dress, I’m down with the scraggly hair, I love the makeup, and I particularly love that she stopped the thinnification before it became alarming. Full Story

AMA Miss America: Beyonce

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Did her mother design this dress? I’m inclined to think not. Because she looks great in it. And because it’s not ugly. A tad beauty pageant, perhaps, but definitely not ugly. And was she totally adorable last night or what? Especially when Jay Z was performing – boppin’ her head, wavin’ her arms, smilin’ big and pretty and maybe even a little bit fake for the cameras…which naturally had my smutty sense tingling. Full Story

AMA Worst Hair: Carrie Underwood

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So I know she’s of a certain genre, that we shouldn’t necessarily hold every genre to the standards of Kate Moss. I totally get that. Which is why I won’t bother with the on-stage ensemble, the dress and shorts combination – I’ll just chalk that one up to the fact that I’m too Asian to get country, just like most whiteys don’t understand why Chinese ladies are incapable talking on their cellphones without yelling or, for that matter, driving a straight line on the highway… Fair enough? But the hair has nothing to with the genre. Full Story

Paris’s Worst Angle

November 22, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 22, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We’ve covered the tranny…now on to the bird face. Seriously, look at the face. Look at it nose-on. Now I don’t have a great nose, I myself have a rather hawk-like nose, but I’m proud to say my hawk nose is still cuter than her bird beak, and again, it astounds me – that someone this borderline hermaphrodite and, as articulated so brilliantly by Tina Fey, STUPID as all f*ck still manages to convince people that there’s something, anything, to be desired underneath all that glossy skank. Full Story