You Are Not Them

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 09:03:00 March 11, 2008 09:03:00

It’s a giant f&ck you to us mortals – a family that looks like this. A family this ridiculously attractive. Ri-di-cu-LOUS. Totally not fair. And as always, the glaring exception to my Celebrity Baby Theory. Have a look and then wallow in your own ordinariness: Cindy Crawford and husband Rande Gerber (George Clooney’s BFF) and their two children Presley and Kaya. Full Story

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Mr and Mrs Burns

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 08:36:00 March 11, 2008 08:36:00

Christy Turlington and Ed Burns last night at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame… breathtaking Christy. Wow. Would be a good couple to test my Celebrity Baby Theory on. For those new to the site, the Celebrity Baby Theory works as follows: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace I’m not going to name the specific children. Full Story

A Fox and a Good Woman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 08:14:25 March 11, 2008 08:14:25

Michael J Fox and Tracy Pollen last night at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event looking strong and happy. Nice to see them out and about. They step out rarely these days and tv misses Michael much. Photos from  Full Story

Leftover Blow

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 07:38:00 March 11, 2008 07:38:00

It’s either diva bitches or cokeheads these days, don’t ask me why… Many assumed she’d chilled out on the hardcore life, taking a more low key approach, curbing several vices, focusing on career and love. Apparently not so. In fact, she raging even harder these days. Makes it more fun when there’s a partner. Full Story

Nicole plans a party

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 07:04:00 March 11, 2008 07:04:00

Nicole Richie went shopping yesterday for party – Joel is turning 29. Note the pretty “H” necklace she’s wearing… love the name Harlow. Also like Winter. And love love love her angel wing headscarf. Did you know that pictures of Nicole fetch more than Ebola? Word is Paris was initially not pleased when she learned of this but then decided to use the disparity to her advantage in a photo opp of her own. Full Story

Madge Makes Pippy Hot

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 06:46:00 March 11, 2008 06:46:00

Like the opposite of Hollywood Ebola’s sh*t by association – I mean, if you’re good enough for Madonna… And obviously Pippy is good enough for Madonna. After all, only Madonna could pull out those balls and demand the man within. As such, there was a little something something about Justin last night. Full Story

Madonna Inducted

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 06:32:00 March 11, 2008 06:32:00

Iggy Pop performed in her honour and then proceeded to pararde around topless. How many people can turn up somewhere with their shirts off and make it work? Few I suppose. And this is why he was chosen to fete the Material Girl who has reigned pop for 25 years. All hail Madonna! Justin Timberlake hailed Madonna! It was a bawdy introduction laden with sexual innuendo, citing her “shapely body of work”, acknowledging that she’s a woman who “fully enjoys (being) on top”, and conceding that “"Nobody has gotten into the hall of fame looking this damn fine. Full Story

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March 11, 2008 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2008 06:24:57 March 11, 2008 06:24:57

To Nat W – thanks for supporting the smut and for introducing Kate to it too. Happy 21st! Am jealous! To Sarah G – I’m sorry about the $400 blackberry bill… but please do keep creeping on my site! To Mary Rita Josephine – Happy Belated Birthday…the same as my mother! Something tells me Erin isn’t blogging about your squawking. Full Story

Monday, March 10, 2008

Dear Gossips,

Another celebrity joining the 8/8/8 baby sweepstakes… who will birth it first? Which star will claim for their child the luckiest day of the century? Bet your Botox Granny Freeze finds a way, only to discover the Second Coming somehow beat her to it. Hee.

Would be nice if it was Matt Damon, non?

Monday, updating all day, refresh often!

Yours in gossip,


PS. Carrie Underwood is not the Wrong Girl.

PPS. Scott Wolfe is probably broke. No idea though he"s gay. Same goes for James Van Der Beek. And really… who cares? Especially not about Paul Walker who is limping back with his ass in his mouth to make a sh*tty FOURTH Fast and Furious film. Paul isn’t Gay and Broke. But he is Hot and Dumb – a quiver killer.

Without Michael

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 10, 2008 15:37:00 March 10, 2008 15:37:00

What a waste. A woman who looks like this reduced to old lady diamonds and ball gowns every time she steps out with her man. Does Zeta have a face or what? Gorgessity. Work done, yes. But gorgessity all the same. At the Australian premiere of Death Defying Acts today, Zeta looks freshly waxed, in more ways than one, and easily 10 years younger than her usual vibe whenever the geriatric is around. Full Story

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French Obsessed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 10, 2008 15:05:54 March 10, 2008 15:05:54

Between Marion Cotillard and Vanessa Paradis, it is full on French Heaven these days. Can’t decide whose life I covet more: Marion has an Oscar and Guillaume Canet and she looks the way she looks but Vanessa has Johnny and her amazing gap teeth and that je ne sais quoi – like here winning best female pop song at the Victoires de la Musique on Saturday in a beater and a polka dot tie and suspenders. Full Story