Monday, September 24, 2007

Still enjoying vacay in small, sleepy, delightful fishing village but cable is out across the entire town! Am now known as the Big City Bitch who keeps harrassing locals for internet. They are working on it. I have 2000+ words ready to post so please check back, as soon as they fix I will be online. Am now world"s first prostitute for online access. Yours in gossip, Lainey.




Dear Gossips,

It begins. TV Premiere Week has arrived – brand new episodes of Friday Night Lights at last and if you still haven’t rented the first season on dvd, hailed by most critics and sports writers and non-sports writers and anyone who loves a good drama, as the most perfect season of television, like, ever…

Seriously… Why the hell not???

But that’s the reality, non? Dancing with the Stars will likely score higher ratings, FNL will likely be cancelled by Christmas. Good taste is dead.

And on that happy note – it’s Monday, live blogging all day from the birthday getaway in Ucluelet, British Columbia, where two sea lions (???) woke me up this morning honking on a rock, oblivious to the fact that it was only 5am.

Love it here …though the only downside is the fact that internet service in this sleepy little town has been up and down all weekend. I miss technology.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Happy 25th to Lindsay from Stephanie – it’s a milestone, celebrate in style!

PPS. Happy 18th to the girl from Rocky Mountain House, Alberta with a mom called Heather. Am thrilled that smut is a mother/daughter activity!

PPPS. So Hollywood Ebola flew back to Toronto from LA on Friday. This from a slamdunk source: first thing she supposedly did was head to the loo and throw up. The pukey smell apparently lingered well after she was finished. Quite an interesting pattern emerging as she also emptied the contents of her diseased stomach all over the staff washroom at Ultra a couple of weeks ago. Paris Hilton must have the flu, right?

Heads up Canada – she’ll be back for a while. Wash your hands often. Infection is deadly.

LaineyBooks: Life on the Refrigerator Door

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 14:36:03 September 24, 2007 14:36:03

A new review. Life on the Refrigerator Door By Alice Kuipers I had heard mid-summer about six weeks before its Canadian release date that Alice Kuipers’ novel was the buzz of the season among the “literati”. Word is there was a bidding war, word is international publishers and editors were losing their sh-t and very keen to acquire the rights. Full Story

The New Denise Richards?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 14:29:45 September 24, 2007 14:29:45

I wonder – do the paps hang out at church? They must do because here’s Bridget Moynahan, who wants all to know that Tom Brady wronged her, dutifully at church yesterday carving out a new image: devout single mother walking with the Lord. Do you smell Denise Richards? I smell Denise and maybe Shelf Ass’s rep for good measure. Full Story

Girl…shut your ass!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 14:26:55 September 24, 2007 14:26:55

Atonement is a beautiful film. I loved every minute. Especially since it could have been a disaster given all the pressure of adapting it from such a brilliant book. Thankfully the movie is outstanding – wonderful cinematography, wonderful performances. Another winner from Keira Knightley who has managed to tame her pout and answer the call as one of the most talented actresses of her generation. Full Story

Recovering with Clooney

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 11:36:20 September 24, 2007 11:36:20

I’d hobble around on crutches for him too. As you’ve probably heard, George Clooney and his flavour of the month Sarah Larsen were involved in a motorcycle accident on Friday. He suffered a rib fracture, she some cuts on her face and a broken foot. But still they hit the town last night night in NYC. Full Story

The Bodyguard’s Tale

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 11:13:33 September 24, 2007 11:13:33

Only Britney could reduce a story this “SHOCKING!” into something so mundane. So her bodyguard, claiming he’s acting on the best interests of Britney’s two boys, has come forward, not only making a statement the divorce court but also selling his statement to the News of the World and yapping about his statement to anyone who will listen including the Today Show this morning. Full Story

Almost Normal?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 10:38:10 September 24, 2007 10:38:10

So VB went out without her spanx corset the other day and while I’m not saying she’s my size, she also certainly doesn’t look quite the emaciated plastic femmebot we know and love. I think I actually see a small but sexy love handle and even some sucking in. Can you imagine? Victoria Beckham has to suck in? Victoria Beckham isn’t concave without breath intake? Am floored. Full Story

Mimi Cheese needs a Village

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 10:34:47 September 24, 2007 10:34:47

Can’t get enough of this sh-t. Nothing more delicious than a shameless bitch. Mariah Carey at the VH1 Save the Music Foundation gala last week required the attendance of not one, not two, but NINE assistants to address her every need, including adjusting her breast tape, periodically brushing away stray hairs, and having heated hot rollers on the ready just in case a section of hair needed some more body. Full Story

Little Sci with the Holmes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 10:30:11 September 24, 2007 10:30:11

Check it out – Little Sci with her grandparents (from her mother’s side) in Germany. Looks like the GMD is actually granting them some access. She is seriously the cutest ever. Meanwhile her parents made yet another dressed up appearance at dinner the other night. It’s so old school I kinda love it. Full Story

Birthday Baby Belly

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 10:27:52 September 24, 2007 10:27:52

Nicole Richie pregnant – total gorgessity. The girl has never, never, never looked better. Here she is in Hawaii, celebrating her birthday with baby father Joel Madden, getting in some travel before she is too far along to fly. Wonder if she"ll get a doula and a midwife? Nicole Richie to jump on another trend? source Full Story

Ruby arrives naturally

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2007 00:00:00 September 24, 2007 00:00:00

She’s crazy…but still, am impressed. Doesn’t sound like something a spoiled diva would do, does it? Charlotte Church opted for the homebirth on Thursday. Her daughter, little Ruby, arrived the new old fashioned way with media outlets reporting Charlotte had two midwives with her for the ride and did not have to leave the comfort of her own home. Full Story