Monday, November 20, 2006
Dear Gossips, So Jenna Elfman was invited but not Oprah? And half of you are probably saying – who the f*ck is Jenna Elfman??? Exactly. Xenu or not, the fact that the Mighty Opes was passed up for a Thetan hasbeen speaks volumes. And like any restored despot, the GMD is not forgiving and he can clearly keep a grudge. In the immortal words of Thom Yorke from Paranoid Android: When I am King, you will be first against the Wall With your opinion which is of no consequence… At all ******* Chills. Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric, even Regis Philbin before a return to Oprah’s digitally enhanced cameras…don’t you think? To read the sanctioned commentary on the wedding of the decade, including what they wore, what they ate, what entertained, what the cake looked like – in other words, every friggin’ UNprivate detail - go to People.com. The magazine is so far up his ass it’s only a matter of time before he gives them intimate but exclusive knowledge of exactly when and how Second Sci’s seed gets planted. But while People is the “official” word, you are here to get your smut on. And that we will do. Monday – live blogging, check back often for fresh posts, check archives under “LAST WEEK” for items you missed late Friday, today’s new articles will appear first, right after this opening cut. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. Where was the Masseur-Loving-Manny-Kissing-Tranny-Dressing Flying Star? The atmosphere was a little less…gay…without him, non?

How Pacey Escaped the Crazy

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Forget the Italian wedding… You want sweet? You want romantic? Have a look at Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger – adorable, non? Two things I love about these photos: 1. the obvious tender moment. I’m almost embarrassed to be posting pictures of a couple so genuinely in love captured in such a private and endearing embrace. Full Story

The Daily Rossum: You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And the Rossum just keeps on comin’… According to People – the GMD’s official publicist these days – Tom reenacted the Top Gun moment for his bride on Saturday night. Per Leah Remini, she adored it and sang along, laughing and “loving”. Full Story

Brad gets grilled

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Damn. We need more journalists like this in North America. Seriously, do you ever find yourself frustrated? Frustrated at all of them? Barbara, Diane, Oprah – especially Oprah – for letting celebrities off too easy during interviews? Do you ever feel like they don’t “go for it”? That they don’t ask the right questions, that they don’t press the way you’d like them to? If so, you will find this woman a refreshing breath of air – an Indian reporter who had the exclusive opportunity to interview Brad Pitt about his racist bodyguard fiasco and who did NOT accept the regular spin for an answer. Full Story

Tom & Katie: more UNintimate details

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What do you call releasing a photo of your kiss at the altar to Good Morning America??? And there are STILL people who don’t think this was a mediaf*ck??? PLEASE!!! Check it out – Katie’s scalloped sleeves lunging in for a snog, Tom bracing himself for the icky, Suri held by someone on his side of the aisle, and Goddess knows I’ve tried for 15 minutes and I can’t find Posh’s massive hat! Because really, gossips…isn’t that the priority here? Let’s recap, shall we: - we knew the exact date of the wedding - we knew the exact location of the wedding - we knew the guest list - we know what they wore, what they ate, where they stayed, what was in their vows, where they’re going on honeymoon… And now… We have a photo of their wedding kiss. Full Story

Kelly Ripa hates the Maybe Gaybe Claybe

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last week I received a piece of critique mail from someone defending Maybe Gaybe Claybe – saying that my comparison of Aiken to the KFed was unwarranted, that while KFed is a talentless golddigging piece of sh-t, Clay has worked hard and gives back and has already addressed repeatedly the question of his sexuality and as such, does not deserve to be lumped into the same Federline category. Full Story

Katie, Tom… and Dupree?

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well People Magazine certainly didn’t report on this, did it? For the 2 remaining naysayers out there who actually think this thing was legit – let me ask you this: what in the world would be the purpose of bringing the head of Scientology David Miscavige along for your honeymoon? Second Sci, perhaps? Xenu only knows but that’s the word according to gossips in Europe who also report that there was a Hubbardite seated at every table during the reception, presumably to provide information when necessary…freakshow, non? Apparently the couple did a great job of providing Church gospel but not so great of a job at providing basic sustenance because Jennifer Lopez is said to have ordered 12 pizzas upon arriving back at her hotel. Full Story

Hollywood Ebola infects Britney

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please, Goddess…please…NO… Britney not only became acquainted with Mario Lopez this weekend – turns out she bonded over ghetto weave with Hollywood Ebola herself , hanging out at Tao for part of the evening and sharing ciggies too. Full Story

Wedding Legality, the Reaction, and Sterility too?

November 20, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 20, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The official photos – see attached. To tell you the truth, even with the master flair of Armani, I’m not really down with the dress. At least not the top part. Then again, I’m not one half of America’s New Sweetheart Couple, recently anointed by the MiniVan Majority after disappointing failures from the Membership’s two previous golden girls Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon. Full Story