A Lavish Beckham Birthday

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Over £100,000 spent for Victoria’s birthday in Paris – jewels, shoes, clothes, bags all purchased on a shopping spree that had been previously arranged by David, including custom fit appointments at Christian Louboutin and Azzedine Alaia. And that was just the day time. Night time consisted of more extravagances in their suite at the Ritz and booking out the entire Guy Savoy restaurant so that his wife could sip water and stare at her food in peace. Full Story

The Time Traveler’s Wife

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2007 12:00:00 April 18, 2007 12:00:00

Some stories are better left alone… though I suppose if it has to be, The Time Traveler’s Wife is off to a good start. Casting is finally complete. Rachel McAdams had long been primed for Clare and Eric Bana is now confirmed to play Henry, the Time Traveler who leaves behind his wife. Film rights to the book were acquired a few years ago by Brad Pitt’s Plan B. Full Story

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Dear Gossips,

So UK gossips are buzzing that the Prince broke up with Kate Middleton because he was too weak to stand up to the criticism leveled at his girl by his upper crust friends and advisors.

Apparently Kate Middleton is too common? Because her mother actually worked for a living? Because her mother used to be a flight attendant? Because her mother said “Pleased to meet you” instead of “How do you do?” upon meeting the Queen last year?

Balding, beaver bucks, can"t close his mouth, and now a p&ssy. sh-t – William really is the catch of a lifetime, isn’t he?

Today is Tuesday, online all day, check back often for new posts.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Why does Steve Carrell freak me out?? Because if I close my eyes and picture Pinocchio all grown up, I see Steve Carrell. And because I couldn’t stomach the gradual growth of his hairplugs episode by episode until he achieved full frontal coverage in Season 3.

PPS. Happy 30th birthday to Emily and a smutty tip of the hat to her Grandpa Robert who put up one helluva fight and is “probably causing chaos upstairs”.

Happy Birthday Mrs Beckham

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

Married to that piece of hotness? Every day is her birthday. But what would a Posh birthday be without shopping? In Paris no less? Here they are, the Beckhams, colour and coif coordinated per usual, fighting off those smutty reports that they’ve grown apart due to her frequent jaunts to America. Full Story

Little Children DVD Exclusive Giveaway!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

I cannot tell you how f&cking brilliant this movie is. The kind of movie that stays with you and bothers you for days. I LOVED Little Children. I loved Kate Winslet in Little Children. She is complicated and conflicted and not all that likeable but very likeable and believable and … there are no words. Full Story

RoboBride: summoned home for dinner!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

Quick non? Katie was in Shreveport to begin shooting Mad Money. All of a sudden last night, she’s back in LA out for dinner with her husband and well…it’s really not hard to figure out why. Looks like someone wanted to show off his new … makeover??? The Gay Midget Dwarf – something about his face…there’s been an adjustment, don’t you think? As in the kind of adjustment that can take away 15 years? Every Queen needs a touch-up, y’all. Full Story

On Madge, on marriage, on Malawi, and moustaches

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

Madge, Lola, and little David Banda in Malawi today. A meeting with David’s biological father was expected to take place, though journalists were blocked from coverage which is why at press time (11am PST) no confirmation has been released. As for growing gossip that all is not well between Madonna and Guy Ritchie, that he was supposed to travel with her to Malawi, that they fought and he refused to follow – as I reported last week, he is working on a tv show for ABC. Full Story

What’s in it for John: Tits & Ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

Not that you didn’t already know but if you take a look at the double handful he gets to goose, in addition to a side order of fellatio courtesy of those Restylane-lips, it’s not hard to figure out why John Mayer has been shamed by his c*ck.Check out Jessica out on the town last night, Main ‘Mo in tow, squeezing herself into a tarty little outfit to hold herself over while John’s on tour in Toronto. Full Story

Kiki Brings it, Franco too

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

Wearing black at the Spidey press conference in Japan – the skirt, the simplicity, my Kiki looks divine, non? Here’s Kiki with what looks to be the full cast of Spiderman 3. Sam Raimi and Tobey look related, don’t they? As for James Franco…OK so he needs a nap and a shower. And I’m not sure why his pants are so tight. Full Story

Overrated goes to Letterman

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Biel yesterday in NYC, presumably to promote Next starring Nicolas Cage, which looks like every other movie he’s made in the last 5 years. So does she look good? Well of course she looks good. Because that’s actually all she does. With a crazy shelf ass of course. But seriously, what ELSE can Jessica Biel do BUT go to the gym, go the beach, go walk the dog, go on Letterman with a great white dress and lovely red lipstick and Just. Full Story

Reining in Homo?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 17, 2007 12:00:00 April 17, 2007 12:00:00

They had him on a short leash for a long time. And then he earned their trust. He behaved for a decade. He made babies, he held the queer feather deep inside. So then they loosened up. They let him go to Toronto. To dress up in drag for a movie called Hairspray. They let him run wild and free, away from the shackles, to taste freedom for a few months as reward for toeing the line for so long, confident that he’d been completely rehabilitated, confident that the doctrine had “fixed” his problem. Full Story