The Daily Bitchslap: Emmy Rossum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

As is often the case, sugar sweet conceals a raging cow. And if you’ve been reading my column for long enough, you are no doubt quite familiar with Emmy’s nasty reputation – behind those doe-eyes lies a first class c-bomb and if a bitch can set herself apart during fashion week, among the cattiest queens in the business, you know her inner Mean must be legendary, right? So why keep a Legend hidden backstage? “Emmy Rossum is a nightmare to work with. Full Story

The Daily Girlcrush: Liv Tyler

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Because she’s completely irresistible…and one of the most beautiful faces on the planet with a reportedly equally beautiful soul. Because she’s not a famewhore, because she messed up in private and she cleaned up in private and she rose up the better for it. Because she eats. Because she doesn’t starve and she’s still tall and curvy and gorgeous as all hell. Full Story

Charlize Theron: karmic swag?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Sundance or Swagdance? It sounds facetious but really…it’s not. In the spirit of the independent movie, swag has become the supporting cast at what was supposed to be a celebration of artistry and cinematic experimentation beyond the Hollywood gloss – an opportunistic dance between the vendors and the superstars: you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours, my brand gets free promo, you get boatloads of free luxury goods even though you can pay for several more boatloads yourself. Full Story

Michelle Williams: Front Row Bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Remember – she hates her fans, she hates her fan sites, she had her lawyers shut down her fansites – even the ones that ONLY published promo shots of her on red carpets and award shows, not candids, not Mathilda, just occasions where she’s doing her professional duty. Curiously enough, she also doesn’t mind when People Magazine prints the photos – because they’ll never say a word against her, right? But Michelle Williams doesn’t want to be famous right? She doesn’t want you asking about her personal life and she bloody well doesn’t want you thinking about whether or not she secretly married Heath Ledger. Full Story

The GMD & Katie: Dancing Fool, RoboBride

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Leaving their Miami hotel the other day – surprisingly from this angle, Tom actually looks kinda fresh. Anyway, do you watch Extras? Ricky Gervais’s follow-up to The Office? F*cking hilarious. Seriously, seriously funny. And embarrassing. Two idiots bumbling their way through film sets unintentionally but intentionally insulting every minority group including the handicapped, blacks, Asians, a man with one leg shorter than the other, and victims of civil war – and that’s just Season 1. Full Story

Joaquin off the market?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Second sighting with the same woman…last time they were cleaning his car – I remember distinctly because of her nose. She has a very distinctive Euro nose. Some might say it’s big, I think it’s lovely – a nose with a history. The kind of nose that gets painted over and over again, from century to century and generation to generation, hanging from a castle somewhere in Prague, a nose with secrets and vaults and romance and revolution - unlike mine…which only knows dimsum within a 10 block radius. Full Story

The Beckhams’ MiniBreak

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 6, 2007 12:00:00 February 6, 2007 12:00:00

Arriving at Nice Airport yesterday apparently on a minibreak from his duties with Real Madrid, coordinated and “camera shy” per usual. But this is what I love about Posh & Becks. They might “say” they don’t want to be photographed and they might plead with photographers not to take their photograph but somehow, someway in every photograph, especially photographs of them together, they always manage to look perfect. Full Story

Monday, February 5, 2007
Dear Gossips, While the result wasn’t ideal, there really is nothing better than Superbowl weekend, engrossed in a new book, and snack food on command. The fourth in the Sisterhood Traveling Pants series, didn’t even know it was out. Not my favourite of the lot but teen fiction? Love, love, love. Am on the fly today –assigned to report from the “eTalk Confessional Booth” for Canadian Idol. As in interviewing people before and after their auditions. Me interviewing singing contestants at 8am, still under the weather, and my bitch is raging hardcore. Help. Check it out on eTalk on Tuesday. Monday – live blogging, check back often for fresh posts, but no proper sentences today… am rushing, please forgive? Back to normal tomorrow…promise. Yours in gossip, Lainey PS. The GMD, Masseur-lovin’ Pilot, the RoboBrides, and the Vampire – Scientology Superbowl, Goddess help us all. PPS. Don’t forget The Hills Season 2 premiere Monday night on MTV Canada – and I’ll be live on the Aftershow immediately following, dishing on the new sleaze in town. His name is Spencer, makes Jason look like Josh Groban. PPPS. Dedicated to Sass Jordan…because Paula Abdul only wishes.

Joel Madden does a body good?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Nicole Richie new and improved. Still very slender but I can see an itty bitty love handle and even a little rump. Even more impressive – at first glance from behind, it’s not immediately apparent that it’s her. My first guess in fact was Denise Richards – first class cbomb but a slammin’ and pretty healthy body nonetheless…and 4 month ago, you would never have confused Nicole Richie for Denise Richards. Full Story

Jessica in Elle: the fact among the lies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Simpson on the cover of the upcoming issue of Elle in what must be the most unimaginative photo shoot ever. Big hair, big tits, pink dress, wind machine…never seen that before, you? And then there’s the interview. She addresses the breakdown of her marriage, she describes her current relationship with Nick, she discusses how it felt to see Nick with another woman so soon after their split: "Oh, it hurt me. Full Story

Loving Sandra Bullock

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2007 12:00:00 February 5, 2007 12:00:00

Because she has never wilted away, starving herself to make you notice. Because she never overreaches. Because she has never pimped a relationship for fame. Because she IS America’s Sweetheart without a steady diet of cocaine and cigarettes. Because she isn’t the most stylish (God no) but doesn’t pretend to be either. Full Story